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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not pay the childminder

255 replies

Surelyunsure21 · 28/08/2021 23:20

Hi all,

I am hoping to get some advice on a very tricky situation. DP and I have always seemed to find it impossible to find good reliable childcare and as a result we have bit the bullet and put both our DC (aged nearly 3 years old and 18 months) in nursery over 3 days. They are due to start next week which is lucky as I start a new job on Tuesday, it is my dream job so I don’t want anything to mess it up.

Previously to this we have had a childminder for the last 10-11 months however she is highly unreliable.. DP started a new job in February and he was hoping to pass his probationary period this month.. since May the childminder has been incredibly unreliable to the point where on the days where he is working from home he ends up looking after the children, in between working. His job is a lot more flexible for this.. my previous job was in a contact centre so it impossible to even grab a drink when it was not scheduled.

The childminders excuses were always legitimate and obviously there would be no payment for the days they didn’t do but we didn’t mind paying.. we’d rather have smooth childcare than none. The one issue with payment and it was a little something was that they insisted on getting paid for bank holidays even if we didn’t need to send the children (which we didn’t) and if we wanted or needed too it was double fee. We never sent them but we just thought the whole process was ridiculous.

So long story short the childminder has been that unreliable in the last few months that it nearly cost my OH his job. They have chosen to extend it for 3 months but he cannot work from home anymore and he basically doesn’t get any privileges for 3 months (it’s better than being fired though)

I’m due to start a new job and he’s in a probationary which should have ended and we’ve just put our house on the market too sell and move closer to my new job so obviously cannot afford for anything to screw it up. I sat down with OH and we rang a few nurseries in our new area and one had space to take them from next week so we signed them up and paid the deposit.

We then text the childminder to advise them that we would not be requiring their services any longer as they have been so unreliable they have nearly cost my OH his job and that as a result of this we would not be returning them in September and we would not be paying anymore money.

OP posts:
DancesWithTortoises · 29/08/2021 07:05

She has a cheek asking for anything. Tell her to sue you and see how far she gets.

Eilatan2018 · 29/08/2021 07:07

[quote Surelyunsure21]@WaterIsBest yes I’ve been round and looked at both rooms for my children, I am quite familiar with this setting as it is back in my hometown which we are planning to move back too. My step niece went too this and my mum and I used to pick her up. It is lovely Smile[/quote]
Wow she sounds like a nightmare! No way should you have to pay her for her taking constant time off! If it’s due to problems of her own like leaks etc! Rare sickness and possibly Covid, but I’m sure she can claim money back if she’s isolating due to Covid?

My childminder is amazing.. she’s never been sick in two years and she had to shut due to Covid and I paid her but she didn’t expect me to.

I bet she won’t do anything if you refuse to pay!

Indecisivelurcher · 29/08/2021 07:07

In your situation I wouldn't expressly mention the 38% as frankly I think that'll just get her back up. You could say something like you will pay half, minus the days owed, considering the impact of missed days on your personal circumstance. However personally in reality I would probably just pay, to be shot of the situation. We used a childminder who ended up being very rough to my Dd, called her vile, all sorts. We paid our notice just to see the back of it all.

Original poster
Surelyunsure21 · 29/08/2021 07:14

@Indecisivelurcher That would be £60 which I don’t think she’d accept. I rather she keep the £200 and leave it at that. I just don’t want pay the £720 minus 5 days which would be £420 without any further discount for the fact that she has been so unreliable.

My issue is if we pay her that £420 what if she is off at all during September and it falls on one of those days she has been paid for and she doesn’t say anything we should get that back too but she wouldn’t be honest and do that 😕

OP posts:
heliumballoonsupinair · 29/08/2021 07:15

Seemingly she has breached her contract on many occasions which is why you are ceasing it as could happen if she were an employee. She has not fulfilled the contract which has led to your husbands probation period being extended and him now having a poor reputation in his workplace. I would write down all the instances of her failure to adhere to the contract and prepare to go to court. This is far too damaging to your husbands current and future job prospects. If he gets disciplinary action taken against him in work due to her failure to comply with the contract then this could have far reaching adverse affects in his career and financial status. Could also affect the reference he is able to get to take to any future employer. It works both ways.

Are you sure your childminder isn't on this thread?!

Original poster
Surelyunsure21 · 29/08/2021 07:25

@heliumballoonsupinair it has and he was so upset when he had his meeting because he felt like he was really showing his knowledge and skills in this new role and he had the luxury of walking in anytime between 8-10 and he’s now had a wrist slap and his luxuries taken away which means we now have to factor in 5 days worth of Train tickets. He would drive in or get the train to work for the 2 days he had to be in the office.

I doubt she’d be on this thread because I know from conversations that she is not a massive fan of internet, she always says she is old fashioned like that.

OP posts:
Twickerhun · 29/08/2021 07:36

Sounds like you have had a difficult situation there and lots of people not being straight forward with each other. Op can I ask, does your surname begin with a W? There are elements of this story that are familiar to me.

Original poster
Surelyunsure21 · 29/08/2021 07:40

@Twickerhun no my surname doesn’t start with W Smile

OP posts:
Debetswell · 29/08/2021 07:40

I would pay the childminder a £5 a week.
Drag it out.
She obviously has no respect for your employment situation.

OnlyFoolsnMothers · 29/08/2021 07:45

The issue I have is you have put up with this and paid etc and now want to use it against your contractual terms- sorry but you should have brought it up as soon as this stuff started

LobotomisedIceSkatingFan · 29/08/2021 07:46

She hasn't fulfilled her part of the contract.neither the correct route is to pay and claim/counterclaims, I'd be inclined to call her bluff. I'm also very interested in the lack of invoices; I'd be asking for copies of those.

I'd have had to be desperately to place my child with a childminder asking for double time on BHM.

LobotomisedIceSkatingFan · 29/08/2021 07:46

Whether not neither

PatchworkElmer · 29/08/2021 07:48

I can’t believe you’ve put up with this since (at least) May! I would’ve looked elsewhere within a few weeks.

Normally I’d be of the mind that you have a contract, pay up and tough luck, but I think in this instance I’d point out that she’s in breach too and offer to let her keep the august payments as a goodwill gesture.

Original poster
Surelyunsure21 · 29/08/2021 07:48

We’ve been honest and explained that due to her unreliability since May (the situation wasn’t perfect before this but it wasn’t as bad as it has been since May) it has nearly cost DP his job and I am due to start a new job after 5 years. I explained that he has to return to the office 5 days a week and I’ve had to find a reliable more efficient childcare solution this quickly because we honestly don’t think she will fulfil the days as she is contracted too during September and neither of us can avoid that in our jobs.

There has been little issues with the service as well when it has happened and she’s had the kids. I work long long days and I am not available to drop off or pick up so she has more contact with DP however she refuses to text him.. she always messages me even if I have no idea what she is talking about. I didn’t mind it to a point until the time that DP text her as our child had an injury and he text her for more info on how it happened as she hadn’t mentioned it and then she text me back

OP posts:
PatchworkElmer · 29/08/2021 07:49

… I do also think though, if it gets nasty you need to weigh up the benefits of keeping the money vs the stress that could be involved to do so. Sometimes it’s better to pay up and walk away- you don’t need to add stress to an already very stressful situation with house moves, new jobs, children going into a new setting etc…

Twickerhun · 29/08/2021 07:50

@Surelyunsure21thats a relief - your husbands story sounds just like someone I know

StormyTeacups · 29/08/2021 07:50

Well, only pay her 38% of what is due for the notice period.

1frenchfoodie · 29/08/2021 07:51

Two wrongs dont make a right. You need to pay the notice period and separately decide whether you have a case and want to pursue it for earlier breech of contract. Assuming there is no obligation on her to make alternative arrangements if ill etc it is hard to see you’d have a case - the multiple instances are annoying but it surely hangs on whether each was legit in its own right.

Surely the contract covers the bank holiday pay issue.

Concernedaboutgranny · 29/08/2021 07:52

I wouldn't pay anything at all. She's got £200 of your money she's not entitled to. Let her take you to small claims. Chances are she won't bother. Id put it all in a letter , send it recorded delivery and keep a copy for yourself of course.

Original poster
Surelyunsure21 · 29/08/2021 07:53

@PatchworkElmer I am hoping it doesn’t get messy and she just agrees to keep the fee for days not worked in August which is owed back to us anyway

OP posts:
3Br1tnee · 29/08/2021 07:54

She's a cheeky bitch and unfit to operate really. I'd report her to Ofsted or whomever, and not pay her another penny.

Original poster
Surelyunsure21 · 29/08/2021 07:56

@1frenchfoodie two wrongs don’t make a right but when it has nearly cost DP his job and she has only worked 38% for the last 4 months.. so I should give her the money for the 4 weeks notice on the grounds that she will be honest and give us anything extra back if she is sick or her boiler breaks or any of her other excuses during September?

OP posts:
Original poster
Surelyunsure21 · 29/08/2021 07:58

Bearing in mind we wouldn’t know otherwise as from next week we will be sending them to a different setting as we have to start them in a reliable setting as of next week because he’s been told to return to the office for next week

OP posts:
Cam2020 · 29/08/2021 07:58

This all just sounds so shoddy! No advice but how can anyone operate like this successfully? Either an a business owner or a parent trying to work?

Gladioli23 · 29/08/2021 07:59

I think given her 38% availability paying 38% of four weeks would be a reasonable compromise.

So that would be 288, less 240 that she owes you already should be £50 which is still galling given the total unreliability but at least it would be a lot more sensible than £720 or £480.

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