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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think this therapy program is unfair

125 replies

Happiestyearofmylife · 28/08/2021 19:19

Nhs dbt program they are saying people have to have their camera on to take part. My dd is very self conscious and also has social communication problems. They say it’s because she could have someone else in the room with her but surely you could with the camera on? I understand it for the group bit but it also has a 1-1 bit where only her own problems will be talked about and they still want the camera on Aibu to think people shouldn’t not be allowed therapy over this?

OP posts:
XenoBitch · 29/08/2021 00:39

@Happiestyearofmylife

They won’t offer 1-1 as they say she has eupd.
Part of DBT is 1-1 as well. It is not just group stuff.
EL8888 · 29/08/2021 00:43

Part of the point of DBT is the group aspect and they won’t just offer her 1 to 1’s. If she doesn’t wish to engage with it, maybe she needs to give up her place to someone who does

AndyKaufmanIsAlive · 29/08/2021 00:53

If she doesn’t wish to engage with it

Here we go again...

nordica · 29/08/2021 00:59

Lots of people are missing the point about what DBT is about and why having a camera on is important in that context. Insisting it could be done differently is a bit like saying you want to see a dentist but don't want to open your mouth for the dentist to do anything to your teeth.

SausageRollFan · 29/08/2021 01:00

@EL8888

Part of the point of DBT is the group aspect and they won’t just offer her 1 to 1’s. If she doesn’t wish to engage with it, maybe she needs to give up her place to someone who does
They're not offering any 1-1. Sounds like a dud package of support to me.
SausageRollFan · 29/08/2021 01:01

@AndyKaufmanIsAlive

If she doesn’t wish to engage with it

Here we go again...

You are my people Grin
ClumpingBambooIsALie · 29/08/2021 01:07

If there's no 1-1 component, it's not DBT. Just an… economy-style DBT-inspired discount therapy-like substance.

AndyKaufmanIsAlive · 29/08/2021 01:16

@nordica

Lots of people are missing the point about what DBT is about and why having a camera on is important in that context. Insisting it could be done differently is a bit like saying you want to see a dentist but don't want to open your mouth for the dentist to do anything to your teeth.
Lots of people missing the point that this is not just about having the camera on or off, but providing the OPs DD with accessible mental health support.

Plus presumably it CAN be done differently, as just 18 months ago this all would have taken place in person and not over zoom.

FrownedUpon · 29/08/2021 01:16

I can’t imagine how DBT therapy would work with a camera off. You need to see the client’s reactions & engagement. The therapist would just be engaging with a blank screen.

EL8888 · 29/08/2021 01:19

@SausageRollFan l didn’t realise that bit? So yeah it’s not really DBT then is it.

But bravo on the continual quoting of me. If she doesn’t wish to engage with it then fine. No one is making her. Does that suit better? A lot of services are online at the moment, it’s not ideal but that’s international pandemics for you

maddening · 29/08/2021 01:24

The reasonable adjustment in this case is for face to face sessions as opposed to zoom/virtual.

AndyKaufmanIsAlive · 29/08/2021 01:26

[quote EL8888]@SausageRollFan l didn’t realise that bit? So yeah it’s not really DBT then is it.

But bravo on the continual quoting of me. If she doesn’t wish to engage with it then fine. No one is making her. Does that suit better? A lot of services are online at the moment, it’s not ideal but that’s international pandemics for you[/quote]
I think what you meant to say is " if she can't access it". And no that's not fine because that's a barrier caused by her disability and not a personal choice.

EL8888 · 29/08/2021 01:35

@AndyKaufmanIsAlive for clarity, no l didn’t mean to say that Hmm

SausageRollFan · 29/08/2021 01:39

[quote EL8888]@SausageRollFan l didn’t realise that bit? So yeah it’s not really DBT then is it.

But bravo on the continual quoting of me. If she doesn’t wish to engage with it then fine. No one is making her. Does that suit better? A lot of services are online at the moment, it’s not ideal but that’s international pandemics for you[/quote]
I haven't continually quoted you. Well, I have done it twice now I've had to reply that I haven't done it!

PurpleOkapi · 29/08/2021 01:49

I think the goal here is to replicate in-person therapy as closely as possible. Before covid, was there any provision for therapy sessions to be conducted by phone if the patient preferred it, or wasn't comfortable with the therapist being able to see them? I honestly don't know the answer to that, but I don't see how this is any different. Just because the camera is on doesn't mean she needs to look at the screen or visually engage with whomever is on it.

EishetChayil · 29/08/2021 06:12

Face-to-face provision needs to be made for her, so her place on the DBT course can be given to someone who will fully engage and properly benefit from it.

Oscailandoras · 29/08/2021 08:32

[quote esloquehay]@Oscailandoras, OP confirmed that her daughter has ASD...🙄[/quote]
Apologies. I filtered her posts to check and couldn't see it mentioned in any of them. She must have posted that her dd does under a different username that wasn't didn't come up when I read only the OPs posts.

NutellaEllaElla · 29/08/2021 08:39

Could you respond to the suggestions about minimising or covering her image with a post it? Would this not be a reasonable adjustment?

NutellaEllaElla · 29/08/2021 08:41

With DBT, they're very likely to hold firm with their boundaries btw. Waiting for it to be face to face is probably going to be considered reasonable. Skipping any kind of queue (and the will be a big one) to face to face work won't happen IMO. No one likes groups, so many people try to get around it

LittleMG · 29/08/2021 09:03

I wouldn’t want to do zoom therapy full stop. Sounds like my worst nightmare!

DelphiniumBlue · 29/08/2021 09:13

Just wondering why the sessions can't be face to face? The pandemic isn't a justification any more, schools, colleges and universities will all be doing face to face; pubs and restaurants and cinemas are open, what makes these sessions different?

NutellaEllaElla · 29/08/2021 09:23

@DelphiniumBlue

Just wondering why the sessions can't be face to face? The pandemic isn't a justification any more, schools, colleges and universities will all be doing face to face; pubs and restaurants and cinemas are open, what makes these sessions different?
We will have to socially distance indoors and this drastically reduces the number of slots for group members.
ilovesooty · 29/08/2021 09:25

@AndyKaufmanIsAlive

What's wrong with face to face? For the one to one sessions? I mean if it was possible pre covid, then it should be possible 18 months later?
I'm offering face to face sessions in private practice but I know a lot of therapists who aren't. Some are CEV or have family members who are.
ilovesooty · 29/08/2021 09:30

Colleges aren't all offering face to face. My course will only be available online next year.

OneinNine · 29/08/2021 09:46

Heaven forbid some one requiring a DBT course has mental health problems and needs reasonable adjustments to access. No doubt it will be written down in the notes as failure to attend and your dd discharged from the service.

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