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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Aibu to reaaaaally enjoy being single!

44 replies

Sharalander · 27/08/2021 13:26

Just that really.. I've been single for about a year now and I love it. In that time, my daughter and I left my abusive ex and moved house. Our house is so lovely. I work full time, my daughter has a good routine, my phone is constantly pinging with messages from my lovely close knit circle. I enjoy my time from 7pm after my daughter goes to sleep and my evenings are mine.. I'm not sure I ever want to meet someone and give up and ruin everything we have.. The only thing I wish I had was a bit more money, but we aren't destitute and we get by.. I don't miss sex, I don't miss intimacy or being with a man.
Is it really unreasonable to really enjoy being single and to possibly even consider donor conception if I ever have another child? I honestly don't think I could ever have another man in my life again.

OP posts:

speakingofart · 27/08/2021 15:31

Nope! Never been in a relationship really, wouldn’t have it any other way!

thepeopleversuswork · 27/08/2021 15:51

I bloody love it. It's the best kept secret ever.

And I'm so pleased that women are able to be publicly happy about it now and don't have to feel pitied for it.

I felt like a freak for years because I liked being single. People endlessly trying to pair you off with friends you don't fancy because they pity you.

Bellend101 · 27/08/2021 18:11

I absolutely love being single! Cheers op 🍷

IjustbelieveinMe · 28/08/2021 01:13

@thepeopleversuswork

I bloody love it. It's the best kept secret ever.

And I'm so pleased that women are able to be publicly happy about it now and don't have to feel pitied for it.

I felt like a freak for years because I liked being single. People endlessly trying to pair you off with friends you don't fancy because they pity you.

This...

I am 48 and people have said to me with pity in their eyes 'oh what a shame you are single, I am sure you will meet someone again soon' depending on who says this to me, I either exclaim I am happy to be single and I choose to be so. Or, I just let them be. Some people are under the impression you can only be truely happy in life in a relationship, I know my sister feels this way, she is single and she is miserable, all men are bastards etc etc. She has more money than she knows what to do with, she doesn't have to work, but bases her life goals on being with a man, when she could doing so many other amazing things with her life, with the privilege that she has being financially comfortable.
It's so refreshing to read so many women are happy too. Cheers to you all and the OP.

PumpkinKlNG · 28/08/2021 01:40

I’ve been single for 5 years and whilst I do like it I do miss sex tbh! Wouldn’t want fwb etc though so one of the draw backs...

Hawkins001 · 28/08/2021 01:43

I must admit having a close friend is nice, but not sure if I'm suited for a long term relationship at the moment, although I don't mind a no string s arrangement , but that depends on the ladies preferences

NiceGerbil · 28/08/2021 01:44

YANBU in any way whatsoever :)

VetInAVat · 28/08/2021 02:25

Been in two terrible marriages, now happily single. Like you OP I just wouldn't have time in my life for a bloke. Too busy being content

bowchickawowwoww · 28/08/2021 02:34

I love being single! I'm 42 next week and I'm in no rush at all to find a man

Mummadeze · 28/08/2021 02:38

I am in a bad relationship and your post is inspiring. I hope I will be writing a similar one one day. I definitely feel put off men for good as things currently stand.

LimeRedBanana · 28/08/2021 02:53

Been talking about this on another thread.

Happily married with a DH that considers us a team and pulls his weight around the house.

But should the worst happen, I can’t see myself bothering with a relationship again. Certainly not a live-in.

Being single has far greater appeal.

Guacamole001 · 29/08/2021 11:09

Many women prefer their independence these days.

newnortherner111 · 29/08/2021 11:15

Perfectly reasonable and enjoy it.

Petardos · 29/08/2021 11:45

I dream of your life. Glad for you OP.

crimsonlake · 29/08/2021 12:03

Another single one here since my divorce 10 years ago. I have had a couple of short term relationships but cannot imagine living with anyone 24/7 again. I do go through phases of wishing there was someone in my life who had my back and could help with diy jobs. I enjoy company, but after a while want to retreat back to my house and shut the door.

Moonface123 · 29/08/2021 12:06

I have been happily married, widowed, and now happily sing!e. Life is too short to be miserable.
It's really lovely to hear some women can have a happy ever after, alone.
There are many different ways to live your life now, we are so fortunate to have choices.

AWiseWomanOnceSaidFuckThisShit · 29/08/2021 12:08

I have a boyfriend but I will never, ever live with anyone. I love living alone!

LBirch02 · 29/08/2021 15:47

When I was single I used to love going for days out on my own to National Trust places , I even had pub/restaurant meals on my own. I love being part of a couple but single was good in its own way. YANBU OP

Middersweekly · 29/08/2021 16:32

YANBU OP! Enjoy your single life and freedom. I often envy DM who lives alone for the most part but also takes students in her spare room term time. She divorced 3 years ago and will never live with another man ever again. She’s got a gentleman friend with benefits. I often say to DH if anything was to happen to him, I wouldn’t ever want to live with a man again! 🤣

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