Family Secrets

[Iamsososoexcited]

So, I have been reading a lot of AIBU at the moment to help with issues in my wider family and try and gain some perspective.

It has got me thinking. All families have secrets, alliances etc. If you were to find yourself excluded from a family, treated like a second class member, would you ever choose to unleash a family secret bomb? ie. share the secrets which have been kept for years. The upshot would be whilst you will still be definitely excluded, the others wouldn’t be able to play happy families in your absence?

Is there ever a time when it is acceptable to do this?

@Katiebee008

Does ever family really have these deep dark secrets?!

I think the most damage anyone in my family could do is "yeah well dad moans about you", "mum was fed up when you moved back in" or at a push "SIL is a pain in the arse".

All of which are common knowledge anyway! What sorts of secrets do families really have?!

Every time you hear about a crime, love child or similar, and every time you don't, those people have families.

Watching as I’m sort of in this position. I’m the scapegoat. I know so much that would make everyone else’s relationships implode.

I have chosen, so far to stay silent. It’s not my secret and it would only hurt people.

Ask your self what will you gain? Ask yourself will it help heal your hurts or is it just for revenge?
I take comfort in the fact that their closeness is not real. It is not our do truth. It’s out of need. They do not have free love, they do b it live free at all.

I’d rather be alone than be part of it.

I have. I refuse to keep secrets. Secrets can be dangerous.

I had my real fathers identity kept secret from me and my step father who I was lead to believe was my real father physically and emotionally abused me and did indirect (not touching iyswim) sexual abuse in that he was walk in when I was bathing or dressing and leave vibrators in my bed. He threatened to rape me when I turned 16 and would make grotesque comments about how fuckable I was but then pretend he didn’t realise it was me.

My mother wanted all this kept quiet. And stayed with him.

She enabled him. She is a guilty as he is.

My grandmother called me a horrible person for lying and that my mother was protecting her child (just not me though)

I retorted truthfully that her pedophile father had touched up her youngest daughter so what the hell did she know about protecting kids? Especially as she knew her father was an abuser he allowed him around her children. (My aunt was relieved it was out in the open)

We haven’t spoken for years and I’m still blamed for ‘destroying’ my grandmother and my mother resents me and blames me for her husbands affairs

The pair of them are enablers and dangerous women who cannot and will not see abuse even if it’s right in front of them and the best thing I ever did was stop my DC visiting either of them.

Of course. There is so much more to my story that I won’t be posting and I know many will disagree with how I handled it but unless you’ve been bullied and abused and the women meant to protect you join in on the bullying and abuse you have no idea.