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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to wonder how people afford this??

208 replies

Eurghhhhhhh · 26/08/2021 23:24

I've been out tonight with some friends to the nearest major city. We went for some food and a few drinks, very relaxed, just spending time catching up. I've got home and realised that I've spent almost £50! I'm not skint my any means (although not near the Mumsnet 6 figures) but this feels a lot. How do people afford to do this multiple times a week?!

OP posts:
JackieWeaverHandforthCouncil · 27/08/2021 00:08

Surely you must know that some people have more disposable cash?

MauveMavis · 27/08/2021 00:11

I go out a couple of times a week for food - it's got more expensive post covid (or maybe my friends and I are just going to nicer places having been restricted for so long! I used to spend about £30 / evening out. Recently it has been more e.g. tonight was £42.50) .

I have a good job and accept that my social life matters to me when choosing how to spend my cash.

Redsquirrel5 · 27/08/2021 00:15

@Eurghhhhhhh

Yeah I had lots of fun! I know lots of people who do go out multiple times per week and I always wonder how they afford it. I think £50 is decent for food and drinks but even once per week is like £200pm minimum and that's a lot to be drinking away ConfusedBlush
I’ve just said this to DH tonight.
Planty13 · 27/08/2021 00:19

I don’t live in a major city but £50 sounds more than reasonable to me. When did you last go out??

I’m in the north east and even in local towns that’s cheap for a night out

NoYOUbekind · 27/08/2021 00:23

When I was young it was £15 on a bottle of wine and the last bus home, eating's cheating after all. That's how I managed three nights out a week on your £50 budget Grin

Rosieandjim04 · 27/08/2021 00:35

We eat out twice -three times a week good income , small house mortgage of £380 no cars on finance. We are looking to upsize eventually so I expect the eating out will reduce.

user1473878824 · 27/08/2021 00:39

@Eurghhhhhhh

Yeah I had lots of fun! I know lots of people who do go out multiple times per week and I always wonder how they afford it. I think £50 is decent for food and drinks but even once per week is like £200pm minimum and that's a lot to be drinking away ConfusedBlush
They have more money. It’s really simple.
Plumtree391 · 27/08/2021 00:46

People generally don't do it two or three times a week, more like once a fortnight. Single people with no children obviously have more disposable money.

£50 is very reasonable for a meal and drinks.

If you enjoyed yourself, that's the main thing.

Berkeys · 27/08/2021 00:49

Higher salaries, family money or debt.

Hth.

MiddleParking · 27/08/2021 00:52

I could afford to go out twice a week but I wouldn’t have the bloody energy and I’d love to know how anyone does!

PyongyangKipperbang · 27/08/2021 01:19

I know people who were earning less than me (in my pre covid redundancy job, not high earning at all, not even close to 40% tax bracket) had kids and houses etc but do this at least twice a week. I used to run pubs and the amount of money I saw from people on v low incomes putting over the bar made me wonder how (if?) they paid their rent and bills. One pissed up bloke told me how much he earned, cant remember why he told me now, but I made a mental tally of what he spent in a week in the pub and it exceeded his earnings. I know his wife worked so presumably she was covering every bill and still would sub him to the tune of £50 ish a week. But many of them are/were single so no idea how they managed it!

So yes, some people do spend that amount several/many times a week and I wish I could tell you how they afford it but I cant!

Jux · 27/08/2021 01:21

They prioritise differently.

FortunesFave · 27/08/2021 01:23

If you're not in poverty but have a decent wage and some over, the I'm sorry but 50 isn't a lot at all! Not for a meal out and I assume, a few drinks!

I'd be surprised to spend under 100 to be honest. Not that I do this a lot myself but when I do, I spend about 70 or so.

LimeRedBanana · 27/08/2021 01:26

@HotPinkTeaSet

I don’t know if it’s true but someone told me that people have different levels of income and some people earn more than others and have lower outgoings.
I mean, this, come on! It’s not that much of a mystery, is it?

When I was responsibility-free, a massive chunk of my disposable income (which was significantly more than it is now, with DC) went on socialising.

It wasn’t about ‘drinking it away’, it was about having great times with friends. Why not?

PyongyangKipperbang · 27/08/2021 01:29

Just thought of another one......different pub, food led. I remember a couple who came in for dinner three times a week. Retired, boomer age, never gave them much thought to be honest above trying to get them their favourite table as you court your regulars.

Then they came in with friends one day and they were moaning that they would have to sell up and downsize as the pensions weren't stretching as far as they expected them too. The woman in particular was getting very cross about this, I was their server so heard an awful lot of it. She was fuming that her husband working all his life (I got the feeling that she was a house wife their whole marriage) didnt get her the retirement she wanted.

So then I did the same as above and tallied up what they spent on meals out over the week, every week and it was between £150 and £200 a week (once a week they would taxi it and really hit the booze) . I really wanted to say to her "Maybe if you didnt go out for dinner so often, or drink your way through two bottles of rose, on your own, each time, you wouldnt need to move house!"

PyongyangKipperbang · 27/08/2021 01:35

That said, I agree that being young, child free and living at home meant that I could afford to spend well over half of my income on socialising and dont have a problem with my adult kids doing the same, although they all live in their own homes now. But as a proper grown up (mortgage and menopause.....) I couldnt justify the amount I spent back then, I would be thinking "But we really need a new carpet" :o

me4real · 27/08/2021 01:43

Maybe they have more money and also it's whatever the person enjoys and wants to spend their money on.

A few drinks once a week or whatever isn't a lot of drinking BTW.

I spend a lot of money on coffee and cake or a pint etc. Wouldn't eat out/have a full meal all that often due to money (which I don't have a massive amount of) but I don't have kids so I don't have many outgoings.

Shoxfordian · 27/08/2021 06:25

Other people might earn more than you op, surely this isn’t that hard to understand?

girlmom21 · 27/08/2021 06:31

We're nowhere near the magic 6 figures either but could've comfortably done this before children. We'd have just saved less each month.

You'll find that the people who do it regularly don't go for meals every time - they'll be just going for drinks a lot of the time, or they'll be doing it on company expenses.

£50 is an absolute bargain for dinner and drinks.

dontstealmymagnolias · 27/08/2021 06:32

Different priorities. 'Nights out' are very important to my dsis, so she doesn't go on holiday. She has dc. A school friend of mine who is a headteacher goes out every Friday night for after work dinner/drinks, she too has dc, I don't know how she can be bothered as she has a fair commute.

DiscoDown21 · 27/08/2021 06:44

I live near Manchester City Centre, I have no kids. I can’t afford to go out a few times a week. I have a job and alcohol doesn’t like me much as I’m older. However £50 isn’t bad for a city centre night out! I can spend that on a cheap meal,drinks, taxi locally!

DiscoDown21 · 27/08/2021 06:46

Also people who go out more times a week: do pre drinks and go out later. They probably don’t eat out either and they drink in cheaper places or choose cheaper drinks.

Hekatestorch · 27/08/2021 06:46

There's a range of things

Some people may be getting into debt to do it.

Others, will just have more disposable income. As my income went up significantly, I decided to stay put in the 3 bed terrace I bought as a single parent. So I have quite a bit more disposable income than people earning similar at work.

To be fair, we still don't go out several times a week. More like once or twice a month. Maybe a couple of lunches out. I also wfh (did pre pandemic) no don't spend money on commuting or a daily bought lunch or the magic daily economy saving coffee on the way in.

Cosmos123 · 27/08/2021 06:50

£50 for a night out is reasonable.
Do you not go out much OP?

Shadedog · 27/08/2021 06:53

People I know who go out a lot have lower housing costs and no dependent dcs, either because they are young and child free and live with parents or in houseshares, or they are old and childfree/empty nesters with no mortgage. I’ve got a mortgage, a car on finance and 4 teenagers who never stop eating. I hardly ever go out.