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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Am I entitled to CSA

18 replies

user1471481959 · 26/08/2021 21:21

My partner and I have broke up. Neither of us can move out atm but he's being an asshole about money basically not giving towards the kids all is on me and I can't afford it

Am I entitled to CSA even though he lives here?

OP posts:
tensmum1964 · 27/08/2021 07:20

I'm not sure about your entitlement to CSA given that he lives with you but surely the answer is to throw him out. Does he pay towards rent/mortgage, food, bills? If not then he has no right to live with you.

HugeAckmansWife · 27/08/2021 07:42

It's CMS now, not CSA. Yes he is obliged o contribute but its calculated in terms of time spent with them so if he's still living in the house I'm not sure they could do anything. As a pp said, what's the situation there? Who owns / rents it? Who pays the bills?

Eralos · 27/08/2021 07:55

Contact cms and see what they say

Hopdathelf · 27/08/2021 07:56

No, he is spending every night under the same roof as his children.

user1471481959 · 27/08/2021 11:15

The house is in his name and he won't leave and I can't leave as I would have nowhere to go with the children. It's not a bad environment for the children as he is hardly ever there and one night a week he will take them to stay at his mums to give me a break but that's all he does. He spends most of his time out of the house so we aren't together

OP posts:
MadeForThis · 27/08/2021 11:19

You need a plan to leave. Staying isn't an option any more. If you aren't married and it's his house then you will have to be the one to leave.

You can claim benefits.

GullyGull · 27/08/2021 11:20

You're going to need to make long term plans to move out. Technically you have no legal right to remain in the property so you need to get your ducks in a row. Have you looked into house benefits, etc and what you might get? them you can start planning

Lockheart · 27/08/2021 11:22

@tensmum1964

I'm not sure about your entitlement to CSA given that he lives with you but surely the answer is to throw him out. Does he pay towards rent/mortgage, food, bills? If not then he has no right to live with you.
This is bollocks. If his name is on the tenancy / deeds then he has every right to be in the property.

OP, as the house is in his name and as it seems you are not married (do correct me if I'm wrong), you have no legal recourse to stay in the house. He could have you removed from the property if he so chose. I would start making plans to move out.

Check entitledto and speak to the CAB to see what benefits you would be entitled to and what help with housing you might be able to get. Do you work at the moment? Can you stay with family temporarily?

You must also put a claim in for CMS, definitely.

Lou98 · 27/08/2021 11:23

As others have said, you wouldn't be entitled to CM because he lives in the same house as the kids, regardless of whether he's there a lot or not. The house is in his name so there's not much CMS could do.

Have a look at a benefits calculator and see what you would be entitled to, eg housing benefit, universal credit and make a plan to leave. Once you leave, you can then apply for CMS provided he has them less than 50:50 custody which it sounds like would be the case so you would be entitled to something

aaaaah · 27/08/2021 11:29

If its his house is he charging you to stay there? If he his ask if you can stop so you can save to move out.

Hankunamatata · 27/08/2021 12:10

I'd contact benefits adviser

Generalpost · 27/08/2021 12:16

I found this on ginger bread site . I'm quite sure you can claim benefits. My friend did it many years ago when her ex refused to leave. Or pay anything her and the children could eat etc. I think its probably quite common.

Am I entitled to CSA
Am I entitled to CSA
user1471481959 · 27/08/2021 15:48

He is ok for me to stay here as the children are settled here he just won't give any money for the kids eg clothes food etc. I pay half the rent it's just that it's in his name. I work FT and am not entitled to Benefits I have already checked that out

OP posts:
Lockheart · 27/08/2021 15:53

@user1471481959

He is ok for me to stay here as the children are settled here he just won't give any money for the kids eg clothes food etc. I pay half the rent it's just that it's in his name. I work FT and am not entitled to Benefits I have already checked that out
He is ok for you to stay there for now, OP. What happens if / when he changes his mind? I really would move out now rather than have to move out in a hurry one day because he's decided he doesn't want you living there anymore.
MaskingForIt · 27/08/2021 16:02

@user1471481959

He is ok for me to stay here as the children are settled here he just won't give any money for the kids eg clothes food etc. I pay half the rent it's just that it's in his name. I work FT and am not entitled to Benefits I have already checked that out
Stop paying him half of the rent until he starts paying for half of the children’s needs. Use what you would have spend on rent to feed the children.
yoyo1234 · 27/08/2021 16:33

Stop paying half the rent and use that for the children

Lou98 · 27/08/2021 16:37

It's easy to say stop paying the rent but OP only you'll know if he'll then tell you to leave.

If you moved out you would have your FT wage and would then be able to claim maintenance through CMS. Might be worth looking at flats to see how much it would roughly cost a month

GullyGull · 27/08/2021 16:42

he's happy now but if he gets a new partner that could quickly change. Its not a long term sustainable solution OP, you need to really start thinking long term.

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