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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To block and delete for good

2 replies

Mousecapade · 26/08/2021 21:21

My father. I’ve had enough of him. He moved miles away years back, never bothers with any of his grandchildren, they barely know him and I don’t hear from him for months on end. He speaks to my step siblings (he moved away to be with their mother) more than he ever speaks to his biological family. Partly this is my fault as he’s virtually a stranger to me now. Whenever he pops up all he talks about is how much he misses us all and can’t wait to see us. Then just disappears again. I am sick of him letting my kids down over the years. My full sibling hasn’t spoken to him in years and he’s spent all this time only talking to me to ask me to talk to my sibling about why they won’t talk to him. It’s like inception

He’s now been gone longer than he was ever closer to me, so much time has passed.

He’s getting married (3rd time lucky) and contacted me recently to blatantly ask me to say a gushing congratulations to him because I had not responded to it on social media.

The woman is quite nice the two times I met her, she’s only 10 years older than me and her kids are younger than mine. This will be the second time he’s gone off to be a father figure to someone else’s kids and not his own, and now children younger than some of his grandkids.

He shared all his substantial inheritances with the other wives and their children and not his biological family, now he’s getting remarried it’s the same thing all over again. If I cared about the money I would be trying to keep them onside, but I don’t care about the money. I just can’t believe a. she is marrying such a man and b. why on Earth he keeps dangling little carrots that he cares when he doesn’t. Would you as a mother honestly marry a man who abandoned his kids years ago and has a load of grandkids he doesn’t even know? I don’t get it!

I blocked them both on social media. I feel mean for his poor wife to be who hasn’t done anything wrong to be honest. But have I over reacted is this part of adult life that you just suck these things up. He’s very fond of telling me I will be sad I never tried harder to have a good relationship with him when he’s dead Angry

OP posts:
LactoseTheIntolerant · 26/08/2021 21:49

He sounds awful but ultimately I would do whatever would give you peace of mind/make you happy. It sounds like he only really cares about himself anyway so don't worry about the impact of your actions on him. Block and delete him if you think it will help but if it leaves you feeling guilty then it's not really achieving anything.
Personally I would go very low contact only bother with him when he makes the effort with you and concentrate on the important people in your life who have been there for you.

Backtobacktheyfacedeachother · 26/08/2021 22:26

I don’t think you have overreacted, having someone in you life who makes you feel the way he does really isn’t something you just ‘suck up’.
I’m sorry your dad is so shit Flowers mine was never brilliant, but he acknowledges that, and I have a level of acceptance so it doesn’t hurt me any longer. If you feel you will be happier blocking him and moving on that is perfectly fine.

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