to think that dh has less right to be grumpy with the children than me

10 replies

emkana · 01/12/2007 20:49

because I am a SAHM and put a lot of effort into trying to do stuff with them that they enjoy, both in the week as well as at the weekend.

Whereas he works full time, so doesn't see them much during the week. At the weekend he is around, but apart from family outings he doesn't really do any activities with them, so he's with them for meal times and for shopping and when he might take dd1 to ballet or something.

I feel that in the times that he is with them, he could try harder to be friendly with them. I do berate myself when I'm impatient/grumpy with them, but feel that it's more understandable in my case because I spend sooooooooooooooooo much more time with them.

AIBU?

OP posts:

policywonk · 01/12/2007 20:53

If you are then I am too. I found myself tutting today when DP was being short-tempered with DS, but I know I can be just as bad - as you say, it seems more reasonable somehow when you're dealing with them all the time.

DynamicKermitsNanny · 01/12/2007 20:53

Agree with you to some degree but then because youre with them you know how to tactfully ignore etc and can tune out their moaning/whinging etc

blueshoes · 01/12/2007 21:07

are your dcs more clingy and demanding of dp, because they don't see as much of him?

moondog · 01/12/2007 21:08

Agree 200% Emkana.
I am outraged with dh when short with thev kids.

Original poster

emkana · 01/12/2007 21:13

moondog, wow at the 200 %

blueshoes, there more likely to just leave him alone because they don't expect him to do stuff with them anyway. That sounds worse than it is, he does spend time with them, but just doing everyday stuff, hardly ever does he sit down to actually play with them.

OP posts:

DirtyGertiefromnumber30 · 01/12/2007 21:16

lol, im with you OP.

Also, I think my dcs' understand my grumpiness and impatience whereas I think they get confused and upset when dh is cross with them.

But that might be me being unreasonable too

Original poster

emkana · 02/12/2007 19:58

OP posts:

scattyspice · 02/12/2007 20:05

Men are just grumpy.

shreksmissus · 02/12/2007 20:23

Message withdrawn

perpetualworrier · 02/12/2007 20:31

Just this evening a sternly told DH that here was no need to yell at DS1, "just tell him to stop"". Not 10 mins later I was shouting at him (ds1) for exactly the same thing.

I'm not sure if it's exactly reasonable, but it somehow seems much more agressive when DH does it, but maybe that's because I can't hear myself.

Flip