To have slight worries about changing figure (pregnancy)?

[LBirch02]

Cutting a long story short I got down to 7 and a half stone to attract my partner. Am now pregnant - unplanned but thrilled about it. No bump yet but I’ve started putting on a bit of weight - up a cup size and now a slight tummy where there was none before! Partner is lean and says he wants to put on weight - I think he’s lovely as he is! He says he loves my now slightly curvier figure but I wonder how he’ll feel about 7 months from now! Since we’ve been a couple he’s only known me being very slim. Anyone else feel like this in early pregnancy?

If he’s only attracted to you because of how you look, then your relationship is never going to last. Even if you never gained an ounce, you’d change with age.

Is he really that shallow? Only you know the answer to that.

Long term relationships are based on a lot more than looks.

Best of luck with your pregnancy op.

Not the first post where you’ve talked in detail about different types of food you can eat, jeans not doing up etc, your partner potentially not fancying you anymore.

I’d urge you to go and talk to someone to be honest, you’re obviously pretty insecure and pregnancy can be a headfuck at the best of times.

So, being very slim before getting pregnant you are likely to gain more than the average or “recommended” amount while pregnant. This is fine for women who start out very slim, so be prepared for this and don’t feel anxious about it. Secondly, I’ve found the best way to get my figure back after childbirth is through breastfeeding. The excess weight just came off with only walking for exercise and then 6mo post partum I was down to only 10lb heavier than my prepregnancy weight.

If you can, continuing some exercise during pregnancy will also make recovery and post pregnancy weight loss easier.

Your figure will change. My first DC broke my tail bone and widened my hips, breastfeeding increased my boobs by a whole cup size. So even though I was only ten pounds heavier I was much more hourglass shape and curvier. So expect too that your body will change as well, the proportions will be different even if you get to same weight you were before pregnancy andthis isn’t a bad thing.

WeatherWitch

I admit I had a crush on him for ages before we got together ... cos of his looks. Now though, his looks are less important- it’s how he deals with situations- that’s what I like about him now - looks have taken a back seat.

Thanks for the breastfeeding tip Raccordement . I’m definitely hoping to continue exercise during pregnancy but maybe not vigorous exercise as I did before

7.5 stone is fine for 5'1, ignore the underweight comments if it's healthy for you... but yes you'll get bigger in pregnancy . I looked like I was smuggling a beachball by the end! It's a trade off you make to have a child . I struggled at first but tbh you can mostly get your figure back later if you want to and its about the baby at the end of the day. I found I adjusted to being bigger, the hardest bit was postpartum with the blubbery bump but it doesn't last forever.

Talk to your partner or even text him if you cant talk. He needs to know your insecure about your weight and how he will find you attractive

Shrewoodle I agree it’s definitely about the baby at the end of the day. I often wonder how his mum coped - she went through this 5 times!! None of his older siblings have had large families themselves

he seemed to pay me more attention as I got to about 8 stone

I suspect that’s the real problem. If you had to lose weight to get him; it’s understandable that you’re worried that you’ll “lose” him again if you gain weight.

And while from the outside, it’s easy to say that if that happens, this wasn’t a strong relationship anyway, that’s a daunting prospect in early pregnancy.

Pregnancy will change your body shape whatever you do. I’ve managed to stay fairly active and avoided almost all symptoms, but I have still gained a cup size, now have a stomach and have hips. The stomach should go when the baby is born, but everything else is really individual. Thankfully; DH is great and I haven’t had to worry about that, but it’s an odd feeling, even just personally.

If you're concerned about how you present to your DP now have you thought about how you will present to him while potentially vomiting down him in labour and him being present while you're having your fanny stitched back together?

Your body is amazing. It's keeping you and your baby alive and healthy. Don't hate it just because it's not as small as it used to be.

Hankunam I asked him lightheartedly if he’d still fancy me when I’m massive - he did reassure me. His sister in law had a baby a few months ago which has been lovely

@LBirch02 You can’t say that not even a few women worry a bit at the start about weight gain in pregnancy?

That is not the worrying thing. Look at your OP again. You aren’t worried about your weight as weight. You are worried that you are only attractive and lovable at a certain weight, and it seems like this is a long term fear, nothing to do with pregnancy.

TakeYourFinalPosition

It’s good that your DH has been great through this

hocusspocuss

I’ll probably be swearing at him in labour and ripping his favourite shirt to shreds

Has he had kids in a previous relationship OP?

I was similar to you when I got pregnant OP. Probably gained about 10-15kg with each of my pregnancies, which was massive for me. I remember being slightly horrified the day after my first was born. I’m not sure what I was expecting, but I still looked pregnant and the skin in my stomach looked saggy. Breastfeeding sucked way to much weight off me and I was lighter than I’ve ever been a few months after each pregnancy. My youngest is now 3 and I’m back up to my usual weight. Please don’t worry. Just enjoy each stage.

No kids from previous relationships

Thanks Kiwi09 I think breastfeeding has so many benefits . I’m certainly starting to feel better and enjoy my pregnancy now much more

@LBirch02 I breastfeed because it was convenient for me, so just do what’s best for you. Personally I found it was amazing for weight loss, but not everyone does. My body isn’t the same as before I had kids, but it’s different rather than worse.

Pregnancy, childbirth, breastfeeding & raising a baby often changes your body in so many more ways than just weight.
Stretch marks, ribcage shape, vagina, eyebags, hair loss... It can all be part of it.
Your life partner & the father of your child should love you for you, not your appearance. And so should you, OP. Child rearing is hard work - having self confidence & self esteem despite your changing appearance makes it a bit easier.
Good luck with the pregnancy.

Ihaventgottimeforthis

Thank you and I totally agree with raising self confidence/self esteem. At the moment I’m really focusing on self care etc

I'm going to ignore all the stuff about previous weight loss - sounds like DP has been very supportive of your changing body and weight gain, which is the main thing.

I'm currently 24 wks and really struggled to get my head around my body changing. Luckily I haven't put on weight but obviously my belly and boobs have grown and just generally dealing with aches and pains that I've never had before.

For me, I've found making time to 'be kind' to my body has helped me start to see the changes more positively. Light exercise, a warm bath etc., just something where I'm doing something nice for my body instead of standing in front of the mirror hating it.

@Disintegration1985 you’re 24 weeks. ‘Luckily’ you haven’t put on weight? You’re growing a baby so this wouldn’t be a totally unexpected or awful thing to happen…you’ve got 14-16 weeks to go- you will put on weight, it goes with the territory.

I used to be large, I lost weight for me but met my DH whilst slim, he’s only ever known me slim he’s also slim too.

I never worried he’d go off me when I got pregnant. He’s an adult man who understands that carrying a child has significant impact on a woman’s body. We both made the choice to have kids.

I’ve had 2 babies in 2 years and even though I’ve not gained much weight things have certainly changed with my body.

Disintegration1985

Congratulations on your pregnancy! That’s exactly where I’ve put on a bit of weight so far - belly and boobs!