To ask what to do with 2 hrs 45 mins a day?

[Rabbitheadlights]

Not AIBU but I want traffic.

I have 7DC, 1 of whom has complex additional needs - he is starting at a specialist setting in September for 3 hours a day Mon -fri. Initially I will probably use the time to rest and catch up on sleep (I only get 4 hrs a night) but long term what can I do with the time? Gym? (Wouldn't know where to start though) Course online or not? Lunch out everyday, alone? (My waistline can't really handle that though?)

On 4 hours a night I would sleep!

Absolutely use the time for yourself! I’d exercise, watch my favourite programmes, bake or cook, read and lay in bed.
You sound like you both deserve and need this time. Don’t do housework

Sleep should be your priority.

Thanks for all the replies, so when you exercise would it be ok to do maybe twice a week or would that be pointless? DS will be away from 12 - 3 , so I'm thinking I'm usually up at 5 and do all the usual morning stuff (uniforms, breakfast etc) then take 1 DC to nursery and 3DC to school at 8-9 will be back home with DS until his transport arrives at 11:50 so will use this time to get housework done and make dinner and have lunch with DS before he leaves.

I'm going to look into courses, I do a lot of cooking which I really enjoy and this has always been my escape really, the batch cooking is a really good idea but I do like to make something fresh most days.

Before I had so many DC my life was consumed by work which I loved and miss very very much but it's not possible to go back at the moment so I need to find other ways to use the time.

DP works nights so he will be sleeping during the day otherwise I think I'd plan some serious decorating/bathroom ripping out!

If you like animals you could volunteer for the Cinnamon Trust.

You could learn an instrument and/or a language.

Have you tried mindfulness?

"Time you enjoy wasting is not wasted time"
To start with anyway, just do whatever... walks, coffees, relaxing things. Don't put yourself under any pressure to do something productive. Then, make plans. No rush! And enjoy the me time whatever you decide

Why are you only getting four hours sleep a night?

Why is your DS in school for only three hours a day? By law he should be in full time, or alternatively he should be receiving part of his education at home to make up for what he's missing. Do you have any respite care for him?

@icedcoffees because that's how long DS sleeps for.

@Jemand he's only 3 so I'm lucky to be getting this there is no requirement to provide anything under 5.

I'd sleep. I'd make sure I was ready, ie fed, watered, in pyjamas, just prior to the 2hours and 45 minutes so I could just go to bed with the curtains closed, and set the alarm for 2hours 15 minutes later which would give me enough time to quickly wash, clean teeth and put on clothes.

All that would work if I didn't have to travel more than ten minutes to drop off or pick up.

I should add that 2 of the older children also have additional needs but nothing like as severe as DS.

If you are sleep deprived then the best thing you can do for your health is to have a nap each day.

Start a hobby, take up reading, have that as your 'chill time'

@plumtree391 no travel as we are paying for transport from council which means he will be picked up/dropped off at home.

@Beecham I know, but it just feels so wastefull and I have some health issues which I think may be helped by doing some exercise? But then sleep may help that too? Maybe I should talk to my GP.

Nap. Exercise - walk, swim. Read. Bake. Don’t feel guilty about time for you.
Beauty treatment - some local colleges or salons want models.

Jemand he's only 3 so I'm lucky to be getting this there is no requirement to provide anything under 5

Does she have an EHCP? If so, there is a requirement to provide everything in section F of the EHCP.

I would do nothing at all, watch crap tv and snooze, at least for the first few weeks.

My plan would be

Monday : sleep, let's you recover from the weekend

Tuesday- gardening - get your hands dirty, work out your frustrations by digging, stop and smell the flowers, gardening is relaxing even if you only have space for a window box

Wednesday: learn something new, find a course that interests you or just go on a tangent researching your interests and see where it takes you

Thursday: take an exercise class or go swimming / to the gym

Friday: catch up over coffee with a friend and take a walk together

Basically small, simple, relaxing things that engage you, fulfil your needs and help you recharge your batteries

I don't have as many children or with such significant needs but: exercise, even a brisk walk, I also do Pilates weekly. Chucking stuff in the slow cooker to save stress later. A little bit of me time. Whether that's a book, nails or a local gallery, it helps me reset.
Also, coffee with a friend!

Would you like to do something crafty ? I am finding embroidery and crochet very relaxing. Good luck, you must be exhausted

You don’t need the ‘right’ answer. Try lots of things. Have mini-adventures. And at least at the start, once a week, just rest.

@Jemand just begun the process of applying for his EHCP with the help of portage and his new school.

@Thecathouse that sounds like a great week, thankyou

@Redshoeblueshoe I'd love to find something crafty but honestly I'm useless the nearest I've ever got is painting by numbers which I used to do in the evenings before DS came along.

I am in a similar situation with the special needs kids except I get more sleep. I would give yourself a month or so just to chill and do what you fancy each day - sleep, bath, coffee out etc. No pressure. You will gradually find what works for you. Don't book anything yet as you might decide on something different in a few months. You've had so little time to yourself you need to take a while to discover what you really enjoy again. It might be something completely different to what you're expecting. Go with the flow for a bit and see what happens.