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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

My Dad Blocked me on Facebook!

16 replies

blaisealex · 25/08/2021 20:39

My bastard Father blocked me on Facebook.

The backstory to this is that he abandoned my DM and me when I was three. I didn't see him for a good twenty years. I plucked up the courage to send him a message on Facebook. He responded and answered all the questions I had, (Feed me a cowardly pack of lies blaming my Mother). Then we arranged to meet, for the first time in twenty years at a neutral location. It was my suggestion to meet.

I thought it went well. We got on. I then messaged again a few weeks later suggesting another meet. So we did that. Then, I decided not to message again because I didn't want to seem to pushy. I left it for him to do as I'd arranged the previous meets.

Several months later I'd heard nothing and I see he's disappeared from Facebook. I messaged my half sister who I've never met, but we were friends on Facebook and my Dad had said she wanted to meet me. I asked her if he had deactivated. She said he had. Few days later I realised that was a lie and I had actually been blocked. So I messaged her back and said, 'he didn't deactivate did he, he blocked me'

Then, she blocked me too!

So, my cowardly Father has now abandoned me twice. Full of lies and cowardice. Gin No AIBU. Just a rant.

OP posts:
PollyPepper · 25/08/2021 20:49

I'm sorry. What a dick move.

WotcherH2 · 25/08/2021 20:49

Couldn’t go by without commenting. Your ‘dad’ sounds like a sack of shit. I’m sorry OP.

Wassailer · 25/08/2021 20:52

I’m so sorry. This man is not worth your energy. Flowers

messybun101 · 25/08/2021 20:54

Prat! Op you're worth so much more than this

romdowa · 25/08/2021 20:57

So sorry that he has hurt you in this way again.Sounds like he did you a favour and I hope you will see that in time. A prick like that doesn't deserve a daughter like you 💐💐

CornishTiger · 25/08/2021 21:00

I’m sorry that he’s shown you the man he is. This is a reflection on him and his failings and nothing to do with you not being good enough or at fault.

coeliacsucks · 25/08/2021 21:25

I'm sorry your dad is a useless bollocks. My dad also abandoned DM, me and DS. He will argue all day long that he didn't but he was absent for 26 years so you know 🤷🏼‍♀️

coeliacsucks · 25/08/2021 21:27

@CornishTiger

I’m sorry that he’s shown you the man he is. This is a reflection on him and his failings and nothing to do with you not being good enough or at fault.
What a very important thing to point out.

It's not your fault

Well done @CornishTiger

This took me a long time to believe in counselling.

Combustablecustard · 25/08/2021 21:34

Says so much more about him (both now and 20 years ago) than it does about you.

Thisnamewasnttaken123 · 25/08/2021 21:39

He's worth nothing, just proved what a waste of space he still is after all these years.
So sorry OP.

Moonshine5 · 25/08/2021 21:47

Sorry that he had treated you like this. Naturally it will feel personal but it's not. Not to minimise but he's actually done you a massive favour before you invest more emotionally. You remind yourself you are important, be nice to yourself. Place the whole situation in the past where it clearly belongs. What others think of you is not your concern.
You are a decent person doing your best.
Live long and prosper OP.

AndThatMyFriendIsClosure · 25/08/2021 21:48

That is so tough when you are clearly the innocent party in it all.

Boredmotherofone · 26/08/2021 00:42

I'm so sorry. My DD's Dad abandoned her (& I) when she had just turned 1. I was distraught and had a nervous breakdown.
I am absolutely TERRIFIED that he's going to do this to her again

Melliferous · 26/08/2021 00:46

He's a cowardly cock.

I hope you can see him and his behaviour for what it is and brush this off, and that it hasn't caused you too much upset. It's most definitely him and not you.

Hellotoallmyfans · 26/08/2021 00:47

How horrible of him. He's not your dad OP - he's just a sperm donor. He isn't someone you want in your life OP trust me - only a cowardly lowlife would do such a thing. I know it will be hard but you must protect yourself and not contact him again.

I can totally understand your need to meet him but now you have you can see for yourself what a dick he is and hopefully feel strong enough to maybe draw a line under it. You are absolutely in no way to blame for anything - it was incredibly brave of you to contact him so you obviously don't take after him as he isn't brave in the slightest.

ChetChet · 26/08/2021 14:56

This happened to me. He ghosted me and then completely avoided contact. The wanker shirked his responsibility of me his whole life and then dumped me again in my adult years, including avoiding any relationship or contact with his only grandchildren. I wanted nothing from him as an adult, I was just curious and believed it beneficial for my children to know their ethnicity and cultural identity more in depth as I grew up completely ignorant of this.
I honestly hope he dies lonely and regretful - a be careful with what you wish for thing. But from what I can see he loves the ladies and his single, bachelor life. So I doubt he's regretful one iota.
I had counselling to come to terms with it. I'm over it (honestly!) but it smarts when I think too, too much on it.
I'm sorry OP. It feels like a wallop to the guts at first but I hope you feel better eventually. Rant away. Brew

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