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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Garden Fence Etiquette?

38 replies

househousehousefox · 25/08/2021 10:43

I have recently moved into a house with a very small garden. My neighbours garden is higher up than mine and you can see the tops of their heads over our 6 foot fence. They can see into our house if they are standing up.
No problem. Always planned to have a trellis and climbers but now I'm wondering do we ask them? What if they say no? Is it rude to just put one up?
They have painted their fences but I prefer the wood look. what if they paint their side and it runs through the gaps?
Can anyone explain the rules?
We own they rent so its not technically their fence anyway but they were here first and I don't want to cause bad feelings but I also can't have Mr next door looking into my house everyday. I have no way of contacting their landlord and I wouldn't anyway.
the cost would be fairly substantial for us, a couple of hundred. I would be upset if it caused an argument or they ruined it which I think is quite likely.

OP posts:

Original poster

househousehousefox · 25/08/2021 10:45

Oh yes, about the small garden, so the only outside space we have is small and I would like it to be private. I would like it to look nice. No front garden either so i really want flowers and climbers and also create a kind of noise barrier and attract wildlife so it doesn't feel so 'terraced yard' and feels a bit more 'secret garden'

OP posts:

Brighterblighter · 25/08/2021 10:45

It's who actually owns the fence that's what it comes down to too.

msbevvy · 25/08/2021 10:45

Do you know who the fence belongs to? If it is theirs you won't be able to attach trellis to it without the owner's agreement.

Brighterblighter · 25/08/2021 10:45

Ie the lawyer rather than etticute

Lou98 · 25/08/2021 10:47

Who owns the fence? You'll need to find that out, I believe it should be in your deeds.

If it's you, then no issue, you can attach it to the fence, just make sure nothing goes over their boundary line (overgrown plants etc).

If it is theirs (or their landlords) then you would need permission, ask next door, they maybe wouldn't mind and if they don't then that's great. If they do mind or they ask the landlord and they mind, then unfortunately you can't attach anything to it. Your options there would be to either put up your own fence and attach to that or you can get big planter type things that sit independently so wouldn't need to be attached on to the fence that you could use. Just again, would need to make sure nothing grows over their boundary

Original poster

househousehousefox · 25/08/2021 10:48

How do you find that out? Would that kind of thing be on the deeds?

OP posts:

dementedpixie · 25/08/2021 10:48

It could be their fence rather than yours. Depends who put it up tbh.

PumpkinKlNG · 25/08/2021 10:58

I have this exact situation at the back of my garden! Garden is on a slope so my house is lower down than theirs so they can see into my garden, only it’s their fence not mine so can’t do anything, you’re assuming it’s not “theirs” because they rent 😬

Original poster

househousehousefox · 25/08/2021 11:08

Well yes it feels like its theirs because they have been their longer but also I wouldn't know how to get in touch with the land lord to ask permission anyway.
I don't know if they would want it because I can't see in their house so maybe they don't feel intruded upon?
Would wooden posts be a good solution? I could attach a trellis to that rather than the fence?
@PumpkinKlNG Have you managed to do anything to get some more privacy? Its actually really getting me down and I probably would have looked elsewhere if I knew

OP posts:

FuriousCheekyFucker · 25/08/2021 11:11

Have you tried that really old fashioned habit of - gasp - talking to them?

My (aging) Dad had it in his head that his (equally aging) neighbours would automatically be against what he wanted to do with their shared boundary and would work himself up about it. When, after about a year, he summoned up enough courage to broach the subject, his neighbours were equally happy to not only agree that something must be done about the fence, but they were also happy to pay for half the costs.

Hillarious · 25/08/2021 11:11

As we look down our garden, with the house behind us, our neighbour's fence is on the right hand side, with the panels facing into our garden. Our fence is on the left hand side, and we can see the fence posts.

How much time do you think your neighbours will spend in their back garden looking into your house?

PumpkinKlNG · 25/08/2021 11:12

I’ve got some trees at the back so I’m considering handing something across them to block the view, ridiculous I know but privacy is important to me and they’ve just recently replaced the fence so even more reason why I can’t add anything to it!

Disfordarkchocolate · 25/08/2021 11:14

Both times I've bought a house with a garden who had responsibility for each border was explained by our solicitor. If it wasn't it may not be in your deeds.

Freddiefox · 25/08/2021 11:14

You can’t say it’s not their fence if they rent! It’s quite rude.

It comes down to the boundary, and whose responsible for the maintenance. I maintain one side of my garden and the fence cost a lot. No way would I want trellis on it or climbers attached to it.

You can double fence it, if it’s not your side though and put what you want in it.

thanksforyourcommentrandomman · 25/08/2021 11:19

@Freddiefox

You can’t say it’s not their fence if they rent! It’s quite rude.

It comes down to the boundary, and whose responsible for the maintenance. I maintain one side of my garden and the fence cost a lot. No way would I want trellis on it or climbers attached to it.

You can double fence it, if it’s not your side though and put what you want in it.

It's not the renters fence though unless they installed it, it's the house owners fence. I rented a house last year, I was asked to contribute towards the cost of a fence by my neighbour to which I politely told him to contact the landlord as I was renting. As it happens, he was friends with the landlord and the LL told him to ask me! Cheeky fucker

JudgeJ · 25/08/2021 11:21

Asking is usually the best way forward, since my OH died last year my lovely neighbours on one side asked if I minded having old, leggy bushes pulled out so they could put in a new fence, the other side asked if I minded having them cut back and down an out of control leylandii. My reply to both was Crack on!

Howshouldibehave · 25/08/2021 11:22

Well yes it feels like its theirs because they have been their longer

But you’ve only just moved in! Do you think the other side neighbour’s fence is theirs as well because they’ve also been there longer?!

isthisareverse · 25/08/2021 11:23

How much time do you think your neighbours will spend in their back garden looking into your house?

how is that relevant?

The OP is entitled to privacy full time!

TokyoSushi · 25/08/2021 11:24

Just please don't do what our neighbours have done, yes they own the fence, but they've put the most hideous white screening around the top, looks terrible! If you own the fence, go for it, but put something nice up!

SpiderinaWingMirror · 25/08/2021 11:31

Use your words. "We would like to put some trellis up,it would improve privacy for both houses"

If they have a problem, they can say. Or give you the owners details.

Original poster

househousehousefox · 25/08/2021 11:35

@Howshouldibehave

Well yes it feels like its theirs because they have been their longer

But you’ve only just moved in! Do you think the other side neighbour’s fence is theirs as well because they’ve also been there longer?!

That side of the garden is definitely theirs as the fence is more distinctive and matches the whole way round. I will speak to them but they might say no and I'd rather bounce ideas off the Internet knowing what I can and can't do I case they Say no or it starts an argument because I really do want privacy.

You know kids and trampolines = spying on the new neighbours I'd rather just have a bit higher fence

OP posts:

LIZS · 25/08/2021 11:35

Is the base of the fence at your level or theirs? Might give a clue as to whose responsibility it is but should be in the deeds or vendor questionnaire.

isthisareverse · 25/08/2021 11:36

@SpiderinaWingMirror

Use your words. "We would like to put some trellis up,it would improve privacy for both houses" If they have a problem, they can say. Or give you the owners details.

I don't see how that can help. If they refuse, does it mean you won't do it?

You need to find out who owns which fence, and who is responsible for what! That should have been asked when you bought the property.

But as long as you don't invade your neighbours' property, you should be free to put what you want on your side.

IveGotASongThatllGetOnYNerves · 25/08/2021 11:38

If they say no then you reply no problem, thanks anyway. I'll get some posts in my garden and put the trellis up on those instead.

NoSquirrels · 25/08/2021 11:44

If you’ve just moved in, then now’s the time to do it, IMO.

Start with finding out who owns which boundary, and therefore who is responsible for upkeep etc - should be on your deeds.

Then a quick chat with the neighbours - Hello lovely Mr & Mrs Next Door, we’re planning on planting up the yard to grow climbers etc so we’re going to put up some trellis - here’s what we’re thinking of.

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