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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To pay over the odds to secure a forever home?

44 replies

Pineapplepiepie · 24/08/2021 22:22

We have a property we love (over £1m). There isn't much competition, but there is another interested buyer and if we took our sweet time over it, there is a possibility (however remote) that they would offer an amount such that it becomes out of our budget.

AIBU to offer more than I think it's worth on the basis it is a forever home, so even if it might be priced more per square meter it doesn't matter at the end of the day because I will live in it and raise my family there and so who cares if others buy properties down the road for more of a bargain?

OP posts:

BasiliskStare · 25/08/2021 01:50

@RoomOfRequirement - I think I saw that too - it was a comedian who said - well - it's a house I am just going to live in it.

@Pineapplepiepie and others if I can give any advice from my great age - I bought 3 houses with my heart & the latest one with my head. It's lovely - area etc - & there are compromises but they are worth it. I suspect I will be in this one longer than the other 3. But - just my opinion.

ConstanceGracy · 25/08/2021 07:27

I don’t believe in the whole “forever home” concept but I would pay a bit extra if I really liked it but not to the detriment of being able to live comfortably money wise. House cost so much money to get just the way you want them and I wouldn’t want to be worried every time the mortgage is due.

ConstanceGracy · 25/08/2021 07:29

Should also add that if you proceed then you may found out that the lenders think it’s over priced and won’t give you a mortgage for the amount you’ve offered so I’d be really careful.

Standrewsschool · 25/08/2021 07:30

@minipie

The value of a house is what someone will pay for it. Which depends on how many people are interested at the time of sale and what their means are.

If you can pay £x, think you need to pay £x to secure it, and are willing to do so, then £x is what it is worth

This

JackieWeaverHandforthCouncil · 25/08/2021 07:37

If you can afford it and really want it, buy it. There’s no point playing games and then losing the house to someone else. A house is only worth what someone’s willing to pay for it.

ComeonJulia · 25/08/2021 07:37

Bare in mind , a lot of buyers at the moment are finding the mortgage valuation comes back less than they were expecting so you may have to stump up an few extra thousand (hundred thousand, perhaps, depending how much over £1m you’re going) to be able to buy it.

I personally can’t think of anything worse than a huge mortgage but if you want it, go for it.

Namechange1million · 25/08/2021 07:45

Are you sure there is someone else interested in the property? This is a standard line from the estate agent to push the price up.

onelittlefrog · 25/08/2021 07:47

@Pineapplepiepie

Sorry I wasnt trying to brag I just feel scared already of the mortgage (my DH not my own ability by any stretch of the imagination) and I would be happy where we are...

You sound a bit confused as in one post you're saying you love it and it's your forever home and here you're saying you'd be happy staying where you are. Which is it?

I think you need to decide how much you actually want it.

LadyMacbethWasMisunderstood · 25/08/2021 08:04

There is nothing wrong in spending more on a house than you objectively think it’s worth if you can comfortably afford it. But 2 things strike me from your posts that ignite concern:

The first is talk of a “forever home”. This is sentimental nonsense really. You don’t know, no-one does, what the future holds. And if the mortgage is very large, dependant on one salary, you are quite vulnerable and at the mercy of an employer and a lender.

The second is that you told your DH you really liked the house, he said you could afford it and now you feel guilty/scared. This isn’t a healthy dynamic in my view. You are not taking responsibility for the financial decision making. And the guilty/scared part suggests to me you fear it’s a bit of a stretch. Can you identify (not on here, but to yourself) what it is you are scared of/feel guilty about and see if the house is still worth it.

Even if you are not playing an equal part in the financial contribution (no shame in that), you do really need to take an active role in understanding your financial situation.

Candleabra · 25/08/2021 08:12

I would pay a bit extra for my dream house, especially if I was going to live in it for a long time.

You don't sound that committed to this one though. Is there nothing else to look at on the market?

Pipsquiggle · 25/08/2021 08:22

3 things I would consider:
Can you afford it?
Will it really be your forever home?
How often do similar houses in your chosen area come on the market?

If the answers are:
Yes
Yes
Not very often / rarely
You should go for it.

We did exactly this 3 years ago. We have never regretted it. We love where we live and I am so grateful for my home Every. Single. Day.

bigbaggyeyes · 25/08/2021 08:22

If it's your forever home and you can afford it then go for it.

You're not using us as a stepping stone or an investment so who cares if you've paid more than it's worth. It's worth that much to you, and you won't ever sell it so no issues around that either.

We're just in the process of buying our forever home, probably paid a bit too much, but I won't ever sell it, my kids will (fingers crossed I won't need to, to pay for my care).

LivingLaVidaBabyShower · 25/08/2021 08:25

Neighbours opposite overpaid by a good 100k-150k on a house worth 1.2 max.

The location and type of house make it unusual/desirable and we live on roads where "houses dont come up much" and stock is limited. The last similar one was for sale about 5 years previously.
They needed to move for work, have 3 kids and want to raise their family here so it was clearly worth it to them.
I would be similar if funds allowed -their house is amazing-

londonrach · 25/08/2021 08:26

Depends if you can afford it. There is no such thing as a forever house though as you might find circumstances change eg jobs, relationship s, health.....

bananamushy · 25/08/2021 08:31

but I won't ever sell it, my kids will (fingers crossed I won't need to, to pay for my care).

How do you know that though? I'm pretty sure that in the future care will be more expensive, same for the NHS.

SteakChips · 25/08/2021 08:32

Wow £1mill - is this a wind up. if you're not hard up and it's what you want go in higher, if you're worried about the mortgage ask your self this? I have £1mill do we actually need to spend that or can we find a property that we can go in less and pay for the house outright and have funds left over.

I wish I had that kind of money if I'm honest. I'm trying to move and I've had to ask the bank of mum and dad to lend us £5K, I also have to find £10K for now stamp duty. I've been living in shared ownership.

Roselilly36 · 25/08/2021 09:14

If you love the house and it’s a long term move go for it. Personally, I don’t believe any home is forever though. Some are long term family homes. We have recently moved from ours after 18 years, circumstances can change a lot over time, our large family home was no longer suitable for my disability (MS) we had no idea I would be diagnosed with MS when we moved there with our very young family. We have downsized massively to a bungalow, which will be another long term move for us. Good luck with your move OP.

ConstanceGracy · 25/08/2021 09:14

@SteakChips

Why would it be a wind up? And they don’t have 1million, they’ll presumably just have the deposit amount. Most houses in my area are £500,000- £1.4 and over like a lot of cities

Muma1992 · 25/08/2021 10:21

If you're taking a mortgage, you are not owning your forever home yet. You are borrowing a lot of money with the hopes of one day owning your forever home. Anything could happen, touch wood nothing does, but your personal circumstances could change at any minute.

I would pay a little over the odds for a house I really loved, but I wouldn't pay a lot more, as I have to be sensible when borrowing a large mortgage.

If you're a cash buyer, go right ahead with your 1 mil+ house!

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