She’s always so angry

[Hesagingercockney]

Toddler, Dd, 3.
Since around spring, she just seems so angry all the time, I feel like my sweet girl has gone. She’s terrible with sleep and just doesn’t want to sleep, so I know that doesn’t help her mood, but even with sleep sometimes, she’s still the same.
Getting quite upset now as I’ve tried everything, is this normal?

Yep..worked in a pre school/creche for a time and every year at one point or another,each parent would come (sometimes in tears) askin where their little bundle of joy had gone.😫😆

It happens.
Theyre just learning to regulate their emotions and find their place in the world/dealing with disappointment and expectations.

Hang on in there!!

@Notimeforaname Any idea how long it lasts 🙈it’s been for around 4 months now, started just around when she turned 3. I mean sometimes, she’s just horrible 😬

Assuming of course theres nothing else bothering her/ no big life changes recently.

@Notimeforaname No, all the same 🤷🏻‍♀️

Some toddlers are a breeze and then get a bit mouthy by 3 or 4 for some it's the opposite.

Keep playing the game of ''finding the positives'' . It can be relentless🤣 but when she's upset/cant be pleased point her in the direction of something more positive/giving alternative options

Lasted about 6 months for my dd 😬. Then we went through a wonderful teary and woeful period for a couple of months.
She is back to her normal sparky, loving, inquisitive self now. 4.5 years

Does she have a naughty step or any repercussions for acting out? She still is quite young but she can be given warnings and a time out of she is really playing up

My 3.5 year old is having the worst tantrums out of nowhere! Nothing changed here. Which worry's me as we will be moving in matter of weeks to new house, so hoping they don't get even worse!

He is so mean to his younger sister and this is where most tantrums start as when he gets told off and we say " say sorry to your sister" he will scream Noooooo! He will thrown anything in sight! Naughty step or corner just doesn't work, threats of bed/ no toys/ no treats so not work. If I put him in room and close door he will wreck the room!

Now he is also a complete mummy's boy, he absolutely sobs when I go work or anywhere! He is very affectionate to me and loving little boy and is lovely to other children etc but my god when he has these outbursts it's like he possessed!

Sometimes they can just get into a habit of moaning! I can too if something sets me off!

I have the loveliest friend,so happy and positive in life,her 6 year old daughter is and always has been appeared utterly miserable all the time🤣 I laugh as she really is a happy child with all she needs but her default seems to be negativity,moans or tantrums.
As shes gotten older she doesn't tantrum as she gets time outs and hates them.

They have to work hard every day at ''finding her positives not to moan'' I guess some people are just born like that !

They are little people after all

But in your case op it sounds just like the terrible twos were a little bit late!
She'll have her moment and settle back down I bet

has been utterly miserable * 🙄

Does she have quiet time (willingly) if she doesn't sleep? Is she happy one-to-one time where you're reading her a story?

I had delightful 2 year olds and was feeling quite smug...till they hit 3. For both mine (2.5 years apart) it lasted about a year then gradually improved. At 6 and 8 they're now mostly happy again, but both still have their (not infrequent) moments! I'm not a fan of 3 year olds I've decided.

@HollowTalk We try for quiet time if she doesn’t sleep, but often she’s so sort of hyper, obviously tired but won’t sleep, she just can’t switch off. Once she’s asleep, she’s asleep, but then will wake up at normal time, so is miserable.
Have to admit it’s really bringing me down as from the minute we go down for breakfast, she either starts with arguing or moaning..or something! Dp is off this week and even he’s like 😳she’s really hard work at present! We’re trying to do lots of lovely things and keep positive but she’s just cross back

I had a proper miserable cow of a dd for years. Clingy, needy, dramatic, ruined everything.

Changed after a couple of years in school and is a cracking little kid with an infectious laugh. Still prone to dramatics, but now more of a hair toss eye roll and hand movement than rolling round the floor.

@Notimeforaname

Does she have a naughty step or any repercussions for acting out? She still is quite young but she can be given warnings and a time out of she is really playing up

@Notimeforaname

She’s 3, she doesn’t need a naughty step or “repercussions” - she needs compassion and understanding.

Mine was utterly horrendous from 3-4. I hated being a parent during that god awful year!

He did come through the other side though. He's an absolute delight now. And I'm sure yours will too!

I too am the owner of a threenager. It's HARD. I've learned to ignore a lot of the tantrums as talking to her or trying to jolly her out of it earns me a kick or smack which definitely gets a time out and some stern words. She'll then be very apologetic and extra gorgeous for a bit.

It's like the rhyme, when she was good she was very good indeed, when she was bad she was horrid.

I love the bones of her but about 10% of the day leaves me wishing the next year away.

I always say this, but if your small child goes to sleep but doesn't stay asleep long at night, check for pin worms. Many a child has been accused of being a bad sleeper when in fact they are squirming due to an itchy bottom! Very very common in this age group.

Ds was a little bugger at 3. I remember it being a really tricky age. At 10yo hrs an absolute delight (and has been since age 4 or 5 I seem to recall).

Dd is horrific at 4. But we think there are other issues at play.

Solidarity. My dd is 4 and has begun having the most epic strops, she is some days instantly in a bad mood from the moment she opens her eyes - argues constantly, won't listen to anything I say. I think it's because she's due to start school. It is so bloody hard and I pray that it stops once she does start.