How to deal with this?

[MiaMarshmallows]

Granddaughter who is 8 really embarrassed my neighbour earlier.
She is a late thirties woman but I always thought she was a lot younger, still lives at home, never married, has a slight speech impediment.
I was speaking with her and granddaughter who was present asked her "Do you have a boyfriend? Are you married?' Neighbour went bright red and said No before looking tearful. I told GD some things are personal and changed the subject to a recent theatre trip we had. GD then asked my neighbour why she can't pronounce her 'th's.
By this point I apologise and tell GD to go back inside. Neighbour looked really upset and I don't know what to do now. How should I be approaching this with GD?

Gosh I'd be thinking something really bad must have happened to make this neighbour so sensitive about those questions!

Really? Personally I would have been upset if it were me on the receiving end. I have spoken a bit with GD about boundaries but difficult to know how to approach it as I know she meant no harm.

It's a pretty standard question though to get so upset about

I agree with purple. Maybe the last one about speaking would be upsetting, but surely someone in their 30s should be able to handle a child asking if they have a boyfriend without getting tearful!

Just tell GB some people don't like to be asked questions like that and leave it alone.

I’d just say it’s not polite to ask people you don’t know well personal questions and leave it at that.

Your neighbour does sound very sensitive though, but I guess we don’t know what passed traumas she may have suffered.

You can only apologise for your granddaughters rudeness. At 8 she should know better than to ask personal questions. Kids eh??

Really don't see a problem, especially from a young kid.

I'm 42 and live with my parents, for various reasons. I wouldn't be upset by this at all, it's a natural curiosity when kids see things which are new for them. I also wouldn't be embarrassed by children asking about me using sticks to walk, for the same reason. It's just different for them.

However, that doesn't invalidate your neighbour's feelings of course, but I think expecting an 8 year old to register the awkwardness and change tack is a bit much. Maybe a quiet word to see if she could tell she was upset, but other than that I can't see as you can do anything practical. Poor lady must be very very sensitive.

Honestly it's really difficult. When my DD was 2, she asked a checkout operator why her tummy was so large, and she burst into tears. Truthfully, the lady was probably larger than anyone she had previously seen, but I was mortified and apologised. I explained that it's not kind to comment on appearances, however she was a 2 year old child. Completely understand the checkout lady being upset, but to start bawling at a 2 year old was a bit much.

Good time to teach her how to recognise the clues that tell you someone doesn't want to answer personal questions, as well as teaching her when it is and is not appropriate to even ask
It takes a long time to learn! But never too young to start.

@lovemelongtime - Really don't see a problem, especially from a young kid.

A 4 year old maybe. At 8 she should definitely know better than to ask personal questions.

I think a serious discussion about not asking personal questions is in order.

Have you posted about this before, OP?

I would have been mortified if my grandchildren had asked my neighbour personal questions like that and I would have told them off for it. You did the right thing OP, your DGD is old enough to learn it's not acceptable.

It doesn’t matter if we think we would be fine about being asked a personal question about an issue that’s possibly caused the poor woman many problems. She was upset.

I’d take her a small bunch of flowers and say you are sorry for the upset. Have a chat with GD about feelings. She probably knows she shouldn’t point out this kind of thing in another child but it might not have occurred to her that adults can also be sensitive.