To want to stop breastfeeding

[muvaa]

I'm a FTM and have a 4.5 month old and exclusively breastfeed. He won't take a bottle and I just want my life back. I can't go anywhere without him and I want to do things like go to the gym and go out with my girls every now and then. His dad wants to spend more time with him too so I'd like advice on how we can transition to bottle feeds instead of breast.He's also showing signs of readiness for purées

Perfectly understandable.
I didn’t BF so have no idea how to transition but I just wanted to say that if that’s what you want to do then go for it

I'm following this thread, sorry I'm no help but I'm eight months in and my daughter will not take a bottle at all. I've tried too many too count as well as from different people, in the room and out of the room 🙈

Has your DH tried offering a bottle when you’re not in the room?
Ideally when the baby is peckish but not howling hungry?
I had a bottle refuser but we tried little and often, in low stress times, distracting with a toy etc

It took a few goes and trial and error with various bottle types but we got there after a couple of weeks, with a Nuk bottle

You might also want to try freshly pumped milk to start with, so it’s more familiar than reheated breast milk or formula

I’d say get your DH to do it rather than you and use expressed breast milk at first. You can switch to formula if you wish to once he’s used to the bottle. If possible I’d try to not even be in the same room, if he knows that the boobs are near by he’s more likely to refuse the bottle.

Most babies will take a bottle with a bit of perseverance. Though my dd2 would never entertain the idea (or have a dummy for that matter). The only thing she would take was a beaker from Tesco which had a rubbery teat that was kind of flat. I have no idea if they even sell them anymore as dd2 is now 13!

Make sure you're nowhere near when DH offers a bottle or it'll likely be refused. Advice now is to start weaning around 6 months and not earlier, unless medically advised so I wouldn't.

As he’s so close to weaning I’d wait until then. Because bf can reduce dramatically then if babies take well to food.

It’s a bit different because I wasn’t transitioning to formula, just to some bottles of expressed milk, but we tried a few different types before she would take it.

And (and this may just work because it was breast milk), against all the advice, at first she would only take the bottle from me, not DH. Maybe she associated me with food, and because it was breast milk she still took it, and with DH she didn’t realise what was happening? No idea, but it took a longer (only a few days) for her to take a bottle from anyone else once she got the hang of it with me.

@KatieKat88

Make sure you're nowhere near when DH offers a bottle or it'll likely be refused. Advice now is to start weaning around 6 months and not earlier, unless medically advised so I wouldn't.

6 months is just basic advice. The actual recommendation is to wait until a baby shows signs - and can be between 4-9 mths. There is no value in delaying weaning for a 4.5 mo child that shows all the signs of being ready

Useful bottles that looked like a boob and had to latch baby on and make sure the test hit roof of the mouth. Once got hang we moved over to tommee tipee

www.nhs.uk/start4life/weaning/ready-or-not/ I'm going off NHS advice which begs to differ.

Reply before to @Ozanj - daft MN website not quoting when it said it did!

You're absolutely not unreasonable to want to stop - it's your body and your choice.

However, breastfeeding doesn't have to be all or nothing - you may find combo feeding works for you, so the pressure isn't all on you.

4-6 months is a massive developmental leap for babies and soul destroying for parents as babies can get clingier, needier and feed frequently like newborns, so you may find your baby a whole lot easier to handle in a few weeks time.

Some babies are frustrating bottle refusers, so it's helpful to know that there's light at the end of the tunnel and your little one will become less clingy soon whichever path you take.

Have you tried a cup? My eldest never drank from a bottle and I started combination feeding at about the same age from a basic Tommee Tippee sippy cup, it was a game changer.

A friend of mine used a sippy cup when one of hers absolutely would not take a bottle. It worked well for them.

YANBU at all

Try feeding him as usual at a time when he’s not tired and grumpy ( I started mid morning), I’d give 10 minutes or so at the breast and then offer the bottle. It took a few goes but wasn’t too difficult. Some people do go straight to a cup but my babies loved sucking.

I then did a mixture of Brest bottle to please myself although mostly breast was easiest by then.

They self weaned at 9 months.

You can express breast milk into a doidy or kiddly cup. Some babies just skip bottle stage altogether and much prefer their milk this way.

I was going to suggest using a cup too - great minds think alike, @WTF475878237NC!

My first was a bottle refuser, and I really struggled with the pressure of breastfeeding because I had to go out to work and he just wouldn't have anything while I was gone. My poor dh struggled and struggled, tried everything - every type of bottle, teat, milk - and got nowhere.

Then I decided I had to stop for my mental health. I told baby that was it, no more breastfeeding, stayed away a night in a hotel by myself (absolutely amazing) and the baby fed from a bottle and that was it. Never had a problem after that.

My second we mix fed from very early on and she was fine with both. Such a different experience!

@hellypad

Have you tried a cup? My eldest never drank from a bottle and I started combination feeding at about the same age from a basic Tommee Tippee sippy cup, it was a game changer.

Yep, same here.

He’s very young to wean onto purées unless it has been specifically recommended by a health professional. There can be adverse outcomes for gut health for babies weaned before 6 months, so it’s usually only recommended in specific situations where it’s warranted despite that risk.

In terms of weaning onto bottles, have you tried getting your partner to try and give a bottle when you’re out of the house? Sometimes when your baby knows you’re not available they’re more willing.

Alternatively he might manage better with a cup than a bottle.

Absolutely OP.

You have done so well.

If it feels like the right time for you, go for it.

I went back to work at 7 months and this forced combi feeding. Honestly it was easiest to just leave DD with my DH or MiL for a few hours with a bottle and leave them to it. She would not accept a bottle or even entertain maybe getting used to one when I was around, so I just removed myself from the situation. She got used to it fairly quickly.

Good luck OP.

As he’s so close to weaning I’d wait until then. Because bf can reduce dramatically then if babies take well to food.
Milk has more calories and is more filling than puréed veg though, can’t see how purées would reduce breastfeeding frequency?

How often does he feed, OP? It does slow down eventually. Bear in mind you only want to drop/change a feed at a time so your boobs don’t explode and risk mastitis.

Then stop, it's nothing to do with anyone else, it's your choice. Your baby will be fine on formula.

Have you tried going straight to a sippy cup or something similar?