To miss lockdown

[globula]

Just that really.

This is my personal view and experience and I cannot comment on the suffering the COVID situation brought to many people however for me it was great (of course the reason for lockdown wasn't great, JUST THE EXPERIENCE of it).

I have a 0hrs contract with NHS but working on a non COVID ward so was able to pick up full time hrs last year resulting in more income (normally only able to do 2 shifts per week due to lack of childcare) and didn't feel unsafe or uncomfortable if anything it was easier with less patients, no visitors and limited visits from other agencies). DH was off on furlough staying at home, doing diy, garden and helping to homeschool.
I loved having DCs here to homeschool- actually think they learned way more at home than they do at school on regular basis- and overall we had more time to spend as a family and enjoy each other's company as there was no external stress and pressure.

We don't have family around and don't go out very often anyway so I wasn't bothered by places being shut.
I loved the empty streets, buses, trains and supermarkets (maybe I just don't like ppl I don't know).

So overall for me it was brilliant. I realise that I sound extremely selfish and wouldn't say it to anyone in RL however my intention isn't to diminish anyone's hardship just needed to share how I feel.

Hated every second. Negative effect on mentalhealth, physical health, marriage, family life. No mourners at father's funeral. No human contact.
So so lovely to be in the office hearing laughter and banter again.

If people needed permission to live quieter and more nuclear family oriented lives, then please take that permission and crack on. I’m glad you got something out of it.

But I think that’s a better way of couching it than ‘oh I loved it and really miss it’.

@thepeopleversuswork

I find these sorts of comments incredibly triggering tbh and I am trying really hard not to respond harshly because for me lockdown was a total and utter nightmare.

I am a single mother and was expected to home school on top of an insanely stressful and demanding job (from home) when my employer refused to cut me any slack whatsoever. My mental health suffered hugely, as did that of my DD, to the point that she needed to see a counsellor for months afterwards.

At the time I regarded these sorts of threads as in the worst possible taste and they made me incredibly angry.

With the benefit of time and my life having slowly got better I can now see that some people particularly introverts and people with anxiety found lockdown easier in some ways and I can sort of accept this.

But I still seethe when people go on about the quality time they spent with their families. The time I spent with my family during lockdown was probably the worst in my life.

If I sound bitter its because I am.

So much sympathy and some solidarity - I don't think we had it nearly as hard as you, simply because there are two of us, but DH and I were both working full-time from home in the first lockdown while caring for our not-yet two year old. It was awful and I try not to think about it because it makes me feel so intensely guilty. I've never felt at all guilty or conflicted about being a WOHM before or since but during that lockdown while all my friends who didn't work or worked part-time posted ideas for lovely activities to do with toddlers while I put mine in front of the TV yet again so I could have another Zoom call - I really felt I was failing him and borderline neglecting him and it makes me feel sad whenever I think of it so I try not to. I also can't help but feel bitter whenever other people say how great it was, though it is some (petty and mean-spirited, I know) comfort that in every case I actually know the people who loved lockdown lived pretty sad lives beforehand.

I agree. I loved it. I was on furlough though, all throughout the glorious summer and I had so much time to spend on hobbies, walking and with my family that I never usually have. Teenagers were at home a lot more and we all coexisted really happily.

I also loved the inbuilt excuse for not having to go out.

i really felt I was failing him and borderline neglecting him and it makes me feel sad whenever I think of it so I try not to.

Yep. The guilt was crushing. I also try not to go there.

Arsehole posters on here trotting out the ‘why have children if you don’t want to spend time with them’ didn’t fucking help either.

I hated lockdown. Cried almost every day. Was physically and mentally attacked everyday by my severally disabled child who is only a foot shorter than me.

There was no relief and when she was finally able to go back to school in June it was only 2 days part time.

It was horrendous and I came out the other end with worse mental health than ever before. I was so close to a breakdown by the time she went to school.

If we ever have another lockdown I honestly don't know what I would do as no-one looked out for our disabled child or me during the lockdown.

@CinnamonJellyBeans

Some people got months of paid holiday, paid for by the government, who will have to now reduce public spending for the next decade.

The rest of us continued to work, got covid, got covid and died, lost their jobs, lost their homes, got beaten up at home.

Hundreds of thousands of kids missed education and exams and were forced to stay indoors.

There's no debate about what happened. Some got an easy ride. Some didn't.

If you were one of the fortunate ones, for whom the ill wind blew some good, please don't come on here and bleat that it wasn't enough and you want more.

You know the price we paid and you want more?

This 100%. I know people who've lost jobs, homes, income. A massive rise in mental health problems, the impact of which will be felt for some time. A generation of young people who lost a year of their lives, the developmental aspect of this will still be having a negative impact for years to come. Numerous relationships and families destroyed by being boxed in together day after day, conversely some individuals destroyed by loneliness. You are in a very privileged position as are the majority of lockdown lovers.

tumbletastic

I’m so sorry, that sounds horrendous

@TheKeatingFive

i really felt I was failing him and borderline neglecting him and it makes me feel sad whenever I think of it so I try not to.

Yep. The guilt was crushing. I also try not to go there.

Arsehole posters on here trotting out the ‘why have children if you don’t want to spend time with them’ didn’t fucking help either.

For me the low point was maybe in January when people were baying for the nurseries to close again and there was a thread of people who told me a) that I obviously wanted the staff at DS's nursery to die, or at least was so selfish that I cared more about getting time away from my child than other people's lives and b) that I should just give up my job (always said gleefully, often with an implication that I had no business working as a mother of a small child anyway)

Arsehole posters on here trotting out the ‘why have children if you don’t want to spend time with them’ didn’t fucking help either.

people are moaning about their children every school holiday and every time they have to spend with them. It's getting boring. Having to spend time with your kids during the lockdown is not such hardship, or shouldn't be.

Work and homeschooling and "fun" times was a struggle to juggle. But once again blaming the poor kids because they get in the way, it's vile.

i really felt I was failing him and borderline neglecting him and it makes me feel sad whenever I think of it so I try not to.

Yep. The guilt was crushing. I also try not to go there

Arsehole posters on here trotting out the ‘why have children if you don’t want to spend time with them’ didn’t fucking help either

I feel exactly the same about my now 2 year old. He had only started nursery a couple of weeks before they closed. When he went back he was noticeably behind in his social skills as I had to work full time and also homeschool two primary aged kids.

people are moaning about their children every school holiday and every time they have to spend with them. It's getting boring. Having to spend time with your kids during the lockdown is not such hardship, or shouldn't be

I love the school holidays. Love weekends, love taking my children to places. Love crafting with them, reading with them etc.
Working full time while homeschooling a 5 and a 4 year old with a 1 year old too? Fucking hard. So piss off with your judgement.

I was arrantly fucking miserable during Lockdown, but I don't begrudge anyone who found it to be a positive experience.

Oh and I didn’t blame the kids. I blamed the government,

@isthisareverse

If you don't like the positivity, maybe go on another thread?

Firstly don't tell me where I can and can't post.

Secondly, you talk about "positivity" as if this were a team-building exercise or something. There is no requirement for "positivity" when people are discussing the impact of a global pandemic on their lives.

I totally accept that for some people lockdown offered some positives, particularly introverts, people with anxiety and people who struggle with normal day-to-day social interaction, many of whom seemed to thrive on it.

But there's a very big jump from acknowledging that some people who either were very privileged or who struggle with the hustle and bustle of normal life got some benefits from it and claiming that it was a positive for all women.

I can acknowledge that there were hidden benefits for some people but I think going on about how much you LOVED lockdown with your wonderful family time when people were struggling and in some cases dying is gratuitous.

And when someone says its was an unallayed positive for all women I will call bullshit.

Having to spend time with your kids during the lockdown is not such hardship, or shouldn't be.

Did you actually read the post I responded to?

Honestly, tone deaf doesn’t even touch the sides.

The issue wasn’t spending time with ones kids, but having to actually ignore them for vast chunks of the working day so you didn’t get fired.

Your cluelessness is just embarrassing

My home and family situation was pretty good compared to others. Both still working and no chance of jobs being pulled due to both being key workers, kids a bit older not toddlers, house with a garden etc. However lockdown nearly destroyed our family. We're all VERY independent, we spend time together but we do our own thing, it's how we function as a family. Being thrown into spending every minute together was hellish, I thought I was going mad. The enforced family time just didn't work for us and we're all still reeling from the impact of it. We like our activities, our trips out, our stuff that we do with friends or on our own.

I'm sure if you enjoyed it that much you could recreate it without government directive. Work from home, home school your children, have your shopping delivered, have no mates or interests aside from home based hobbies and live life as a stuck together insular family. Going out and doing stuff isn't mandatory you know? It's just in a democratic and decent society there are a fair few of us who've worked hard to have the choice to be able to do these things.

people are moaning about their children every school holiday and every time they have to spend with them. It's getting boring. Having to spend time with your kids during the lockdown is not such hardship, or shouldn't be.

Having to spend time with your children during lockdown WHILE WORKING AT THE SAME TIME was absolutely a hardship, for parents and children. It wasn’t fair on either.

@Amboseli

I agree. I loved it. I was on furlough though, all throughout the glorious summer and I had so much time to spend on hobbies, walking and with my family that I never usually have. Teenagers were at home a lot more and we all coexisted really happily.

I also loved the inbuilt excuse for not having to go out.

And therein lies the meaning of the word ‘goady’. The goadiest reply to the goadiest thread on MN.

I’m a massive introvert and still hated lockdown. It was awful.

Having to spend time with your children during lockdown WHILE WORKING AT THE SAME TIME was absolutely a hardship, for parents and children. It wasn’t fair on either.

This.

It's not having to spend time with your kids that's the hardship. It's having to be in the same house sometimes in the same room as your kids without being able to meet their needs.

And people who didn't go through this have no right to lecture others about spending time with their kids.

There absolutely are circumstances in which I could imagine myself enjoying lockdown - if I hadn’t had a newborn and toddler, if my husband’s workload hadn’t tripled, and so on. As it was, the experience trashed my mental health and I have ongoing PND due to the restrictions that were in place.

Neverrains

you are not special. Most of us had to work and homeschool.
Not all of us want to be a martyr though.

YANBU to feel that way. During the first lockdown, at the height of the curtain-twitching phase, people got torn apart on here (and elsewhere) for saying they enjoyed any aspect of lockdown. They were told to check their privilege, because only people in massive houses with beautiful gardens could possibly be having a nice time.

But I think it soon became obvious that it wasn't by any means only wealthy people in big houses who had found positive aspects to lockdown. It's only natural that the change in lifestyle would appeal to some people, and make everyone reflect on things in their normal life that actually hadn't been great.

I spent three months wfh, which was okay, but boring. Felt quite envious of people in my profession who were furloughed. Can’t imagine being given months off on nearly full pay. But my children are older and can look after themselves. Wfh with small children must have been a nightmare.