My nanny passed away 6 months ago due to Covid. I also nearly lost my mother to covid around the same time. I spent my nanny’s funeral in a covid ward with my mother watching it on a phone.
Me and my nanny were extremely close & I feel her loss tremendously. I have never experienced anything like the heart ache, it still takes my breath away at times. It’s only 6 months since she’s passed.
One of my sisters was offered her house ( she had no will) a couple of days after she passed but was too upset to accept so said no. My other sister was then asked and she jumped at the chance. From that day on it hasn’t been about my nanny but the house.
After a few weeks my nannys belongings and everything she owned was cleared out. I found it very hard & still do to go into the house now all her stuff has been taken away. My sister has redecorated and has been sending pictures of the new kitchen, bedrooms etc, again I feel really upset by it.
It is not that I’m not happy for my sister but just grieving that my nanny has died for her to gain a house.
I was always very hands on with my sister but I haven’t been able to help her with the house as I just find it too upsetting at the moment.
I have heard that my mam and sister are discussing my lack of interest and they are saying ‘she will have to get over it’. My mam has actually said this to my face.
I’m gobsmacked as my mam and I have always been close & I just feel I can’t discuss how I feel openly with her.
I feel guilty as she has lost her mother and is strong enough to support my sister but I don’t feel like I can. I completely avoid the house as it’s too painful. She is moving in soon and the thoughts of going to the house without my nanny there is killing me.
Am I being selfish? Should I try to put my feelings aside to support my sister?