Formula

[Newmumma25]

Hi everyone I’m a first time (very confused mum) I recently stopped breastfeeding my 12 week old baby as I wasn’t producing enough due to having mastitis for the 3rd time and had to use bottles to get through which she ultimately got too used too so had to begin bottle feeding. My question is how do you actually make formula up? What does everyone do? I’ve been following the instructions letting it cool and making it fresh but it’s a mega faff! My HV said she personally boils water makes the bottle up adds the formula when needed and heat it a little. When asking everyone they tell me they made it up with fresh boiled water and put it in the fridge! Im so confused on how to make it. The way I’m doing it just now is a real hassle!

Same, @Needapoodle. I had a baby who wasn't feeding properly and had lost a lot of weight, and severe post-natal anxiety, was trying to breastfeed but needed to get a certain amount of formula into him as well so they knew how much he'd had. They wouldn't tell me what type they recommended or how to make it up, and I ended up doing something wrong and potentially dangerous with the bottles they gave us because they didn't explain how to use them. It's fucking ridiculous.

It really is. The pressure to breastfeed and the way i was treated was a very strong contributor towards me developing ptsd. So when some arse comes onto a thread of a new mum struggling with formula after struggling to breastfeed, and says it's a bf bashing thread ... They can fuck off.

Breastfeeding isn't actually important in the grand scheme of things. Having a mum who is happy, healthy and sane and who feels supported is far more important.

@Needapoodle

Nobody connected with the NHS will do or say anything that might even slightly be seen as recommending formula. Even when i was losing my mind over breastfeeding in the nicu, when i eventually switched to formula not one bastard nurse would help me work out what bottles or formula to buy for a premature baby. They told me to Google it. They had to be persuaded to show me how to make up a feed. They "weren't allowed" apparently.

@Needapoodle My midwife refused to discharge me initially until she'd seen me breastfeed 3 times. When I said ill discharge myself, she told me if I did, my baby would lose a lot of weight, would get ill and would need to come back to hospital where there is a much higher risk of them getting covid.

Luckily, my husband was there and told her that she can watch me feed our daughter do two feeds - either breast or formula - and then he'd be coming straight back to collect us.

Luckily, she backed down on that and let me use formula. I'm just so glad my husband was there and put his foot down!

When my dcs were babies, I made bottles up in advance using boiled water, cooled quickly under cold running water and then stored in fridge. It was acceptable at the time and both dcs were fine. When dgs was born, their formula was made in a perfect prep machine. So much easier to make when needed and, as long as you follow the cleaning instructions and have the correct filter , I don't see an issue with them.

In a perfect world, every mother would want and be able to breastfeed and no baby would need to be formula fed. But we don't live in a perfect world and the vast majority of parents, usually mothers, do the very best they can for their babies, within whatever constraints they have on them.
OP, I do agree that of all methods available, your HV seems to have suggested one that is actually unsafe. A PP machine is helpful and convenient. Also, ready made formula is available in different sizes should you prefer that - definitely worth considering for when you are out and about.

Oh great a BF bashing post, was wondering when there would be another one 🙄

You win weirdest comment of the day.

Looks like you're the one trying to engineer an argument.

@Needapoodle

Nobody connected with the NHS will do or say anything that might even slightly be seen as recommending formula. Even when i was losing my mind over breastfeeding in the nicu, when i eventually switched to formula not one bastard nurse would help me work out what bottles or formula to buy for a premature baby. They told me to Google it. They had to be persuaded to show me how to make up a feed. They "weren't allowed" apparently.

This is so accurate, seriously. I too developed PTSD related to breastfeeding. My tiny baby was literally starving at my breast while I told everyone around I wasn't producing enough milk, they just patronised me, told me I was anxious and that my body was designed to meet his needs.

Until he had lost 13%, could no longer nurse due to sheer exhaustion, needed a nasogastric tube, almost ended up with brain damage needing a full blood transfusion.

Absolutely appalling state of affairs. Even with a mother saying loudly she isn't making any milk midwives were absolutely determined that I would continue EBF, despite it slowly killing him. I trusted them and will regret it forever.

Anecdotally I've found that the vast majority of doctors are very pro fed is best, they have a solid understanding of the evidence around infant feeding and don't buy into the breast is best nonsense. Midwives were another breed, man. They would honestly be like a cartoon dog salivating over a pork chop at the idea of 'mummy's lovely milk' and 'that lovely liquid gold'. It's completely barbaric that that is the state of maternity care women are subjected to in this country. Treated like idiot children basically.

We ended up in the neonatal unit for ten days trying to recover from complications from starvation and not once did a single person tell me it wasn't my fault, that some women just don't produce enough milk, and that I should consider moving to exclusive formula feeding. I was just encouraged heavily to 'give him the best', and triple feed round the clock. I drove myself insane believing that if milk works on supply and demand and I'm not producing enough I'm clearly not working hard to demand enough and so I just need to pump more. Ended up triple feeding for nine months on strong prescription drugs to force a supply and only stopped when my body finally stopped making any. Never made enough to EBF despite all of the above work. I've never known anyone work harder to be able to breastfeed and to fail so spectacularly.

Fed is best. 'Breast is best' does SO much damage to women and babies.

Oh @BabyLeaf. I'm so sorry you went through that.

The reports of mould in the tubes of the PP - this isn't mould, it's deposits of carbon residue cause by using knock offs filters instead of the proper TT ones. If people are going to use these and not clean and sterilise the machine then even if the machine did get mould that's on them!

The PP is a brilliant invention OP and I think it's safer than the NHS method because when you have a baby screaming with hunger it would be easy to give them the bottle too early before it's properly cooked and scald them.

Previously I would boil water and put it in a flask and then use that to make the bottle up and cool under the tap. This time I intend to use a perfect prep at least during the night.

@BabyLeaf I had a similar experience with my dd. I will forever look on that time bitterly as it led to so many feelings of guilt and being a failure because I couldn't do what so many other women can, feed their baby.

@BabyLeaf I’m so sorry.

I had a similar experience with my ds, he was already in SCBU from birth and I produced next to no milk. Midwives and neonatal nurses kept telling me to try harder, that it was the most natural thing in the world, that he would get better faster on my milk.

They reduced me to a sobbing wreck on more than on occasion. One time I was sat by his incubator sobbing when the consultant was doing his rounds and saw me, asked me what was wrong.

He was wonderful. Immediately told them to
stop pressuring me and to give formula. He spoke to me in private and told me not to worry, my baby needed milk and it didn’t really matter to his health where it came from, as long as he had it to grow. I’ll never forget him and his kindness.

@BastardMonkfish

The reports of mould in the tubes of the PP - this isn't mould, it's deposits of carbon residue cause by using knock offs filters instead of the proper TT ones. If people are going to use these and not clean and sterilise the machine then even if the machine did get mould that's on them!

The PP is a brilliant invention OP and I think it's safer than the NHS method because when you have a baby screaming with hunger it would be easy to give them the bottle too early before it's properly cooked and scald them.

Very good point actually!

Perfect prep machine. The NCT and others are quite sniffy about them but we cleaned ours regularly and no problems whatsoever.

With my first, I made up 6 bottles,cooled them, kept them in the fridge and heated them as needed.
Second, I got a prefect prep and it's just so quick and easy, get one. The only annoying thing about it is how loud the beeps are on it.

@youdoyoutoday

I have the digital night and day one and you can turn the beeping off - in the middle of the night it does still sound loud though - one of my twins gets confused when we use the coffee machine now as it sounds the same and he thinks he's getting fed 🤣

I got mine second hand on eBay for £30 - bargain

There's nothing wrong with using a microwave to heat formula - as long as you are very careful to shake the bottles well so there's no chance of a super-hot bit getting into your baby!
Sometimes feel like the NHS HVs and midwives treat us all like idiots on stuff like this

@twinningatlife mine is 2 years old so it won't be needed for much longer but my neighbour did make a cheeky comment about it when I apologised about the noise of the kids!

In about 2008 the NHS had a big drive to get new parents to breast feed. There were ringfenced pots of money made available in the old PCTs to commission breastfeeding support services, apparently backed by evidence that it delivers better long term health and development outcomes.

Clearly, there is a residual group-think within parts of the NHS that this must be the only way forward and that any other approach must be wrong. Some individual practitioners are also breastfeeding zealots themselves and think nothing of overwhelming new parents with their own prejudices.

DW and I were never going to breast feed because she takes medication for which at the time DC1 was born there was no evidence of a safe level within breast milk, and plenty of evidence that it got through. Some midwives accepted this, others were really quite arsey about it.

When DC2 was born 'our amazing NHS' managed to give my wife a seizure and send her into a coma for several days, while at the same time insisting that (perfectly healthy) DC2 should stay in the hospital with her rather than go home with her dad. Fortunately my previous experience as a SAHD using the Perfect Prep machine for DC1 eventually swayed the consultant and he overruled the midwives.

I found HVs as a rule more helpful and realistic than the midwives, but still had one whose first reaction to the sight of me preparing a bottle with the PP machine was "I don't like Tommy Tippee bottles." When I asked her for the evidence of why any other type of bottle would be better she couldn't answer, and realised I wasn't going to be bullied.

When DC2 was born 'our amazing NHS' managed to give my wife a seizure and send her into a coma for several days, while at the same time insisting that (perfectly healthy) DC2 should stay in the hospital with her rather than go home with her dad.

I am that they thought a healthy baby would be better off in a hospital, where infection is so much more likely, with an unconscious parent than at home with one who was perfectly well. Were they expecting your wife to breastfeed while comatose??

Hope your wife is fully recovered now.

Just to say, as there have been lots of complaints about HVs in this thread, they are not all bad. DD's is a very sensible lady who didn't bat an eye when I said I wanted to switch from exclusive pumping to formula at four months (DD never managed to feed directly from the breast), and didn't pass any comment on the perfect prep standing proud in the kitchen.

In 2000 I was told by Antenatal midwife to make up the formula with water that had boiled only about ten minutes before, cool under cold water and refrigerate the bottles not being used immediately. In 2008 the advice was very different as some babies had died from bacteria in made-up formula stored like that. The new advice was to put only the boiling water in the bottles, not the formula, leave at room temp and then add powder when needed. Water was good for 24 hours. Looks like there are risks either way then - from the stored made-up formula or the add powder to cooled water method. There is no way you can be messing about doing each bottle from fresh, though.
We thought the 2008 method was better as bottles could be given at room temp and it was easier going out for the day. Avent did a sectioned powder container so you could measure out 3 feeds and add to water, no need to have the bottles chilled.

@HotPinkTeaSet

Perfect prep machine. The NCT and others are quite sniffy about them but we cleaned ours regularly and no problems whatsoever.

The NCT are notoriously sniffy about anything other than exclusive breastfeeding.

Thanks to all who replied supportively to my comment earlier, it means a lot. Glad to share my story (though sorry to hijack the thread OP)

@BabyLeaf

I am so sorry for what they put you through. It's taken me hours of therapy to accept that it just wasn't my fault. In fact, my failure to breastfeed was due in part to them putting me under so much stress to breastfeed. Anyway. Not to digress, but op, you do what's right for you. Don't ever be made to feel guilty for not breastfeeding.

@BabyLeaf so sorry - how bloody awful for you and your baby. Not on the same scale but both times I've put myself under massive pressure to BF and had quite a large early weight loss.

I make up bottles as a sort of pretend perfect prep. I boil kettle, let it cool slightly. measure formula into a bottle. Use another bottle to measure and add 60 ml of very hot water to formula powder. Shake up. Then measure another 150 ml of cold water and add to formula bottle. Shake, cool slightly under the tap or leave it for a bit then it's ready. She feeds on a routine though so I know when bottles are needed. You could probably add less hot water and more cold if needed immediately. I don't want to shell out for the perfect prep as only being formula feeding since 6/7 months. I don't know what a HV would say about the above method but it makes sense to me.

Perfect prep was a game changer for me with my second!