To think I’m behind in life at 24

[ston]

Just come out of a long term relationship (5 years). Re-evaluating my whole life. Graduated from uni in 2019, wanted to take a year out to travel but didn’t happen due to covid, tried to apply for some jobs in London but didn’t have the self confidence to go to some assessment centres etc. Tried really hard to get a job in my hometown working from home.

Now I realise how miserable I am. I am working from home and going in the office once a week (1 hour and a half away). There is hardly anyone my age. I live with my parents but do go out at the weekends with some friends.

I feel I have made the wrong decision not going to London. It is ironic as my ex said the distance was a problem (he works in London). Now I am miserable about my life at home, and want a change and to get out of my hometown where I never thought I’d be forever.

Problem is I know hardly no one in London, so I’m so conflicted. To get a grad job in London now at nearly 25 years old? I feel I have messed up the last few years of life.

Thank you everyone.

I kick myself for not doing this years ago when i should have.

You are still young, the world is your lobster :)

i didn't start my "career" until I was in my mid 30's, took a break to do something else and went back to it in my early 40's. Go for it!

@MissMarplesGoddaughter

You are still young, the world is your lobster :)

This time next year Rodders

@ston

I worry as I don’t really know many people in London. I don’t want to be miserable not knowing anyone!

I moved to London at 23 and knew not a single soul. I worked in a field where everyone was passionate about what they did and so we had a lot in common, and I made my first friends there. I had an amazing five years there before I moved to another city for the next part of my career.

Go for it. You’re not too old, and you don’t need to know anyone there. The fun is in starting out with all the possibilities in front of you.

I worry as I don’t really know many people in London. I don’t want to be miserable not knowing anyone!

You're not exactly seeing loads of people living at home are you? You'll meet people, just like everyone else who has ever moved. You'll be fine. Stop focusing on regrets and "should have dones." It's utterly pointless and a massive waste of time. If you want a change then make it happen.

@ston

You’re not listening, everyone is saying you’re not behind, it’s not too late, and all you’re hearing is that you’re in a mess, you’re kicking yourself!

If London is what you want, go and if it doesn’t work out try something else! Start looking for a jib, then a house share. Start doing day trips ro London to familiarise yourself with the city and find the part you want to live in. You’ll be fine!

Does it have to be London, there are lots of exciting cities without the high costs of London.

Stop kicking yourself about the past. Just because you feel you're "behind" now even though there's no such thing, you can easily get "ahead" if you just go for it.

Apply for the jobs you want, go to the interviews. Once you're in London you'll meet people at work and can sign up to MeetUp or similar and meet people that way.

I've met so many new local people during lockdown just through going for walks and getting more involved in local community events that I didn't have time for before.

London is a really sociable city too and if you put some effort in you can definitely find a social circle quite quickly.

There are apps like meet-up, and many local areas run activities to help people meet people. I recently joined a cycling group designed exactly for this. You could sign up to art classes or any type of adult learning, join your local FB group. Some areas are great for encouraging people to meet people so once you decide you want to come, ask people to recommend areas where there are lots of social opportunities.

Find somewhere to live that might also provide an opportunity to meet people - ie a house share with people of a similar age.

I moved to london at 23 and although I did know people, as soon as I started work the majority of my friends were from there. It wasn’t a grad scheme - just a digital media company. There are many many of these in london and I’m sure you could find a job in one if your grad scheme dreams don’t work out.

Good luck! Go for it

If you’d had a gap year and a 4 year degree then you’d be exactly same age now looking for a graduate role you’ve lost nothing. Your plan was a good one. I was going to have a gap year snd work/travel post degree but covid happened so I got a job doing x and gained experience it’s all positive.

There's no such thing as being behind in life, only having a currently unfulfilling life that you'd like to change.

You're 24... Let's be generous and say retirement will be 65. So you have 41 years of work left. You graduated 2 years ago so have over 20x that amount of time left to switch careers / find something you're passionate about.

If you want to move to London move to London! 😁 You'll soon meet people through work and hobbies. Don't let life continue to pass you by if you're not happy.

Oh god I remember feeling like this at 24!!! I was waitressing and job hopping as several bereavements and an undiagnosed disability during university left me with a 2.2 and no clear future plan, living at home with parents whilst my friends got grad jobs, good salaries, bought houses and got engaged seemingly within the year!

I focussed on one thing at a time: firstly job. I didn’t want to move from my local area so I researched what opportunities were available locally and found what is my dream job. I spent a year building up my CV (I didn’t get onto the grad scheme due to the 2.2), got an entry level job with the right employer and 5 years later have the dream job and 2 promotions. I often hear comments about how people who have taken the “long road” to get in have qualities such as resilience/determination that grads sometimes don’t have or maybe just a more considered desire for the job.

I then ditched an unhappy relationship though I see you’ve managed that part already. I hated being the only single one whilst everyone else was playing house/getting engaged but I bought a house on my own instead. Eventually got together with someone who I met at work who is my dream guy and he moved into my house a few years later.

My life story is not the same as my peer group who all appear to have done the same things at the same time. At 24 I was hugely bothered by this and felt so left behind. Approaching my 30th birthday I am SO glad I did things my own way. I have a confidence and resilience I would have never found otherwise and some of that peer group are now struggling with things like overstretching themselves financially to get the dream house/car/wedding etc!

I didn't even graduate until I was 25 at which point I moved to a new city where I knew nobody, and started a grad program. Lived in a big houseshare, made friends, dated a lot of different people, then met my partner at 27. There is sooo much time left and the next few years are going to pass no matter what you do, so you might as well start chasing the life you want! 😊

So many people don’t graduate until they are 22/23/24 (especially in other countries) so you’re not even particularly ‘behind’. Don’t compare yourself to the few people you happen to know who graduated at 21 and got a graduate job straight away. You will be far from unusual being 24.
When I started my graduate job I remember many of the other starters were a few years older, including a 27 year old with a PHD (which she didn’t need for the graduate scheme we were on) and a man in his early thirties who had changed career from teaching. I remember feeling very young and wishing I was a couple of years older!!
Good luck, be brave and try London. I moved to London knowing 2 people (who lived nowhere near me - it’s a big city!). I soon made lots of friends on the graduate scheme I was on and also found a place to play sport one even a week where I met more people. You can do it!
And if it doesn’t work out, you can move home/somewhere else and try something else. You have so much time at 24.

Oh please do it. You’re so young and your whole life’s in front of you. Go and live it, you only get one.

Thank you everyone. I’m going to try my best.