Am I overrating about announcing MIL?

6 replies

Katey94 · 23/08/2021 15:40

I’ve always liked my MIL, but ever since I had my daughter ( 3 months old now) she’s seems very overbearing to me, when I gave birth she was there the day I came home from hospital, a Friday, which I didn’t want cause I was tired & sore, then she said I’ll be back Sunday.. I didn’t get a second to settle in at home. She lives a 45 min drive away so she visits me ( I don’t drive) but when she visits she holds baby the whole time & my FIL doesn’t get a look in, if she comes when I’m feeding baby she gets right in mine & babies face for the whole feed, same when I change her. She keeps calling her “ my girl “ which seems like nothing but drives me crazy, now she’s dropping hints about taking her overnight which I don’t want, she also tries to make me feel guilty cos I won’t stay with her for a few days, she’s still trying to pressure me into it, she’s getting a family photo done soon & I HATE photos & still carrying baby weight said I’m not doing & she was talking to baby and said “if you’re not at that photoshoot, I’ll kill your mama” in a playful way but it was meant as a sly dig .. she is just driving me crazy .. also when my baby had colic she told me to ignore her fruit that it was just what babies do and I could t let that’s stop me doing things like going out .. my child had colic, I couldn’t ignore her ..am I overreacting ?

OP posts:

Original poster

Katey94 · 23/08/2021 15:42

@Katey94

I meant annoying MIL in title sorry !

OP posts:

ActonSquirrel · 23/08/2021 15:44

What's her son doing about this?

Have you asked him to ask his mother to back the hell off. You're more patient than me I'd have told her to give my baby back and get out my house.

motherofcatsandbears · 23/08/2021 15:47

I think DH needs to have a word with mumsy and tell her in the politest way to fuck off until you are able to cope with her overbearing bullying. You don’t need it right now x

Notaroadrunner · 23/08/2021 15:48

Have you spoken to your Dh about this? He needs to step in and tell her politely (at first) to back off. They need to ask when it's convenient to call, not just tell you when they plan to arrive. You should go to your bedroom and lock the door when feeding/changing baby, to give you some peace. Don't do the photo shoot if you are not comfortable with it. Wait until a time when you might feel ready. She cannot force you to turn up.

I sincerely hope your Dh backs you up. If he doesn't then you just need to be firmer in telling them that it's not ok to call over so much and that you will let them know when it suits you.

Tee20x · 23/08/2021 15:49

You are not overreacting at all. My grandmother is like this. Extremely overbearing & no matter now many times she is told will not back off.

Completely resonate with being in the babies face - i find this strange because you wouldn't do it to an adult so why acceptable with a baby.

your DH needs to step in before you become resentful. I eyeroll whenever my grandmother is in the vicinity now.

lioncitygirl · 23/08/2021 15:49

Where is her son?

Flip