Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Twatty driving!

21 replies

namechangeno7 · 23/08/2021 14:23

Name changed but regular poster, penis beaker, screamed in Sistine chapel, Mexican house thief etc.

Currently en route to a campsite about 3 hours from where we live and husband is driving like a dickhead, in my opinion.

Yanbu- he is driving like a twat!

Yabu- chill out, he's driving fine.

So far he's been up the arse of every car in front when he wants to overtake. If they slowed down, our bonnet would be in their boot.
He's undertaken four vehicles, slid into a gap that would have concertina'd our people carrier if the two artics he was between had differing ideas about their speed. Rather than slowing to a stop in traffic , he's been harshly braking causing me to gasp which makes him roll his eyes and sigh. He keeps checking his phone to change the playlist. He's not slowing down when other vehicles are trying to merge onto the motorway and we have three children in the car!! I've told him to pull over so I can drive and he's scoffed and told me I am a nervous passenger and everything is fine. Yes, I'm a nervous passenger, because you're driving aggressively and like you're playing chicken with everyone!!! I'm so angry. If he wants to flirt with potential car wrecks, he can do it when he's in his own car on his own! Not with me and our children in the vehicle.

He's been driving for twenty years, has done so professionally and is qualified to drive everything, which makes him believe he is Mr Driver Extraordinaire, capable of predicting the actions of every other driver. His argument point just now is "I've been in three car accidents- I think I know how they start." I replied "with you, by the looks of it!!" Now he's sulking. We've been together ten years and he's always had these bursts of driving like a teenage boy in his first corsa, everyone who ever gets in a car with him says so, but he won't have it!!

OP posts:
tegannotsovegan · 23/08/2021 14:47

YANBU - I would feel massively unsafe if I were in a car with anyone who drove even remotely similar to your DH. I'm sorry, that sounds like a hellish experience.

BlackeyedSusan · 23/08/2021 15:00

Yanbu.

IveGotASongThatllGetOnYNerves · 23/08/2021 15:01

Yanbu

namechangeno7 · 23/08/2021 15:03

@tegannotsovegan

YANBU - I would feel massively unsafe if I were in a car with anyone who drove even remotely similar to your DH. I'm sorry, that sounds like a hellish experience.
It is!

He's slowed down and is keeping appropriate distances now because I've shouted at him and told him he's scaring the children after all three of them screamed when he slammed the brakes on and flung the car into the next lane. He was once again up the arse of the car in front and it touched its brakes. He had a mini rant about how that was a bastard thing to do and I shouted and said they probably were warning him off and if he weren't such a cocky idiot behind the wheel, they wouldn't need to and asked if he felt like a big man, scaring our children. He went absolutely silent, jaw clenched, cheeks red. Embarrassed I think. All I said then was that he's lucky he only scared them with his idiotic driving rather than killed them. I'm disgusted with him.

OP posts:
FiveGoMadInDorset · 23/08/2021 15:03

YANBU

AttaGirrrrl · 23/08/2021 15:03

YANBU. It’s testy, and dangerous. How would he respond to a firm, “you need to drive more carefully or pull over to let me drive”? Or to the suggestion that you and the DC get the train home to avoid being driven by him?

AttaGirrrrl · 23/08/2021 15:04

*twatty

AttaGirrrrl · 23/08/2021 15:05

Ah. Seen he’s slowed down now. Good. Time for a quiet chat tonight once the kids are asleep?

namechangeno7 · 23/08/2021 15:05

@AttaGirrrrl

YANBU. It’s testy, and dangerous. How would he respond to a firm, “you need to drive more carefully or pull over to let me drive”? Or to the suggestion that you and the DC get the train home to avoid being driven by him?
I've already said several times that I want him to pull over and let me drive. His answer was "why? Because you're such a nervous passenger and you don't trust me??"

No, because I'm a safer driver and I trust ME to get us there. But his ego is all tangled up in his stupid penis and obviously that appendage means he's a better driver.

OP posts:
Singlebutmarried · 23/08/2021 15:07

‘Feel free to kill yourself in the car, but not when DC or I are in it thank you’

girlmom21 · 23/08/2021 15:08

When he said "because you don't trust me" you should have said "yes, exactly that. Because you're driving like a twat and our children's lives are more valuable than your ego."

Pillock.

BeautifulBirds · 23/08/2021 15:09

I scan read and saw he is using his phone.... Total no go! I broke up with a lad, years ago, for using his phone when driving.

Although.... you shouldn't slow down to allow others to merge onto the motorway. The slip road is there for them to match the speed of the moving traffic. Merging traffic should be prepared to stop if needed.

Good luck with the rest of the journey.

FGSWhatNow · 23/08/2021 15:10

YAsoooooNBU. What a twat.

tegannotsovegan · 23/08/2021 15:13

@namechangeno7

I'm glad he's slowed down and being more responsible - though I'm sorry you had to shout for him to do so!

scarpa · 23/08/2021 15:13

Oh god, YANBU. My DH drove like this when we were dating. I said I would refuse to get in a car with him again (after our first long motorway journey together) unless he drove safely and not like a dick, and he realised I meant it when we were leaving a lovely weekend away together a month or so later and I got myself a train home because his driving there had been so selfish and risky. He had to drive the very long journey home by himself and it was a wake-up call that I genuinely felt unsafe, I wasn't backseat driving.

namechangeno7 · 23/08/2021 15:31

@BeautifulBirds

I scan read and saw he is using his phone.... Total no go! I broke up with a lad, years ago, for using his phone when driving.

Although.... you shouldn't slow down to allow others to merge onto the motorway. The slip road is there for them to match the speed of the moving traffic. Merging traffic should be prepared to stop if needed.

Good luck with the rest of the journey.

No, you shouldn't, but nor should you try and match the speed of the vehicle so it can't merge onto the road: it's all just pointless machismo!
OP posts:
Seeingadistance · 23/08/2021 15:37

YANBU

and

LTB!

He sounds like a complete and utter arsehole.

ScaredOfDinosaurs · 23/08/2021 15:50

I feel for you OP. I took my DP off my insurance because of his awful driving and fortunately his car is too small for the whole family. So I drive us everywhere and frankly I'm fine with that. Its less a case of shitty attitude in his case, more lack of experience, high tolerance for risk and ADHD. He's had three accidents in a year, all collisions with stationary objects! Like hell is he driving us on a motorway.

I worked for many years in a job where dealing with the aftermath of RTCs was part of the day to day.. Not going to the scene myself but involved in dealing with the aftermath.

I strongly advise you to refuse point blank to be driven by him. It's your life and your kids lives at stake. There are a couple of cases that I was involved in professionally that I can never, ever forget.

ConstantlySeekingHappiness · 23/08/2021 16:20

Does he behave like a bullying prick when he’s not in a car?

I would end a relationship over such behaviour but that’s just me. I suspect with three kids this isn’t new behaviour to you.

LaikO · 23/08/2021 16:38

Yanbu. If he has driven artics himself, he'll know how stupid, dangerous and enraging (to the driver) it is when a car slips into a space so close to the truck - there's a reason they leave so much space between themselves and other vehicles.

RincewindsHat · 23/08/2021 16:58

YANBU, I'd be furious about this kind of driving fuckery too, especially with kids in the car.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page