to just want a nice group chat

[ExplodingCarrots]

Can anyone relate ?

I have been on group chats relating to hobbies but the chat always descend into petty squabbles , people comparing and competing about what illnesses / mental health issues they have , people getting insulted about tiny things. The hobby isn't in even a controversial topic ..think make up/beauty. I have diagnosed anxiety and depression and I join these groups to alleviate this and cheer me up but end up feeling more stressed and have to leave the group. Some of the groups you have to be a paid member (like through a Patreon member ) but this still don't seem to stop the same cycle.

I wish it was just an isolated thing relating to hobbies but I'm also a student with the OU and each module has its own group chat and the same thing always happen. Too many people in one place fighting for attention and squabbling . I'm about to start my next module and I'm not joining any groups this time.

AIBU for just wanting to have a nice chat with people about - make up - or discussing interesting topics about what we're studying / getting support with studying ?

Is it just a case of too many different characters coming together and there being clashes? It sounds really juvenile but the people involved are mostly 25+ .

Could you join some evening classes or in-person hobby groups? People tend to be much better behaved when there’s a real person in front of them than they are behind a keyboard. You also have the advantage of making friends with people properly that way, rather than relying on the version they put out online.

For the OU people - maybe try the groups at first and then if it starts to unravel, pick two or three of the more reasonable sounding folks and invite them to a much smaller private group chat of your own?

Hahaha I actually wish I had this problem.
All the group chats I’m in are dead and boring. Wouldn’t mind a good squabble to read

@MrsTulipTattsyrup

Could you join some evening classes or in-person hobby groups? People tend to be much better behaved when there’s a real person in front of them than they are behind a keyboard. You also have the advantage of making friends with people properly that way, rather than relying on the version they put out online.

For the OU people - maybe try the groups at first and then if it starts to unravel, pick two or three of the more reasonable sounding folks and invite them to a much smaller private group chat of your own?

I do already have some hobbies outside the home luckily . Not as much as I'd like because of childcare .

Yeah I done that in the past . The group either wasn't very active or you had one person who would latch on and message incessantly or be obsessed with being a 'study buddy' . I've joined a Facebook group but I'm not following it so I can dip in and out as and when.

@honeyytoast

Hahaha I actually wish I had this problem. All the group chats I’m in are dead and boring. Wouldn’t mind a good squabble to read

At first it could be entertaining but after a while it's like ugh I just want to talk about good foundations and what eyeshadow to buy now

That's a shame. I'm in a gardening one and people just ask questions or show off their sunflowers and tomatoes. Although we know each other in person so I guess if it descended into off topic chat it would come to a head in real life. If it's through patreon is there not an admin acting as a moderator?

@Lyricallie

That's a shame. I'm in a gardening one and people just ask questions or show off their sunflowers and tomatoes. Although we know each other in person so I guess if it descended into off topic chat it would come to a head in real life. If it's through patreon is there not an admin acting as a moderator?

I'd love to have that ! There are good days and bad. It'll be going fine and then someone will decide something that someone has said has annoyed them .

It's not chatting via Patreon. So we support an artist and then a separate what's app has been set up with their 'supporters' . The artist tries their best to diffuse situations but I bet it's hard for them too. Maybe I need to find some more local people to start a group with. .

You're alone in this one.
I was In a group chat for years with other mothers just chatted about day too day things, very good friends. One day one of them started slagging someone off about their mental health I said it wasn't the kind thing to do and everyone turned on me.. despite messaging me privately saying they agreed with me.
Never will I ever be in another group chat again.