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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To go on a honeymoon without our kids?

15 replies

Avasmama6 · 22/08/2021 19:42

If you had children at the time you got married did you go on honeymoon with or without them?

Do you think it’s a bit mean to leave them? Or perfectly reasonable?

OP posts:

Sparklesocks · 22/08/2021 19:49

I think it’s reasonable! A honeymoon is meant to be for the couple after all. Might be a bit trickier if you’re kids are quite young?

Sparklesocks · 22/08/2021 19:49

*your

Blossomtoes · 22/08/2021 19:52

Honeymoons are supposed to be about having rampant sex as often as possible. It would be crazy to take kids and cramp your style.

FuckingFlumps · 22/08/2021 19:52

I think it's absolutely fine and not at all mean to go without them although I appreciate that it might be trickier to leave them behind of they are still quite young.

Personally I never understood how anyone could consider it a honeymoon when they took the children with them, surely it's just another family holiday?

Smartiepants79 · 22/08/2021 19:54

Depends a bit on age. I wouldn’t leave a very young child for instance but then I’d not choose to get married with a very young child either.
Other than that they stay with whoever is willing to have them!

girlmom21 · 22/08/2021 19:55

How old are they and how far away are you going, and for how long?

LavenderPink · 22/08/2021 20:11

Do they have relatives they can stay with?

Original poster

Avasmama6 · 22/08/2021 20:52

They are 2 & 5. They would be staying at home and my mum would be staying at our house to look after them while we’re away. My mum is fab and the kids love her to bits! She would no doubt turn up to our house with lots fun things planned for them to do and she would probably take better care of them than we do, lol.

But its tricky because I know the mum guilt would hit me hard, considering like everyone, we’ve not had too many opportunities to have family days out/holidays etc over the last couple of years (thank you covid!) & I would feel mean going away and having a good time without them.

Also, we do have a family holiday booked for summer 2022 anyway, going to a country that has been consistently on the green list since the traffic light system has been introduced. So I’m fairly confident we will get the chance at a family holiday in 2022.

So I’m kinda stuck between ...

Mum guilt, cause the kids have had a shitty time over the last couple of years and deserve all the fun they can get.

Take the opportunity to have a break just you and your husband because you probably won’t have this chance for at least another 15 years.

OP posts:

Original poster

Avasmama6 · 22/08/2021 20:57

We’re looking at long haul, probably somewhere in the Caribbean, for a week, next winter.

This might not end up being an issue anyway as covid will more than likely scupper our plans 🙄 but, we don’t mind if have to keep postponing our holiday. We had to keep postponing our wedding so we’re well used to that, just hesitating on booking until we’ve decided how many people we’re putting on the booking.

OP posts:

girlmom21 · 22/08/2021 20:59

If you're super confident they'll be well looked after and be fully entertained, and are comfortable being so far away, go for it.

The only thing that would worry me would be getting home if there was an emergency.

Foxyloxy1plus1 · 22/08/2021 21:00

I had my grandchildren when their parents married. They were a bit older though.

BarryTheKestrel · 22/08/2021 21:01

I'd leave the kids at home. It's your honeymoon, the kids will be well looked after, in their own home and happy. The mum guilt will fade after a few all inclusive cocktails in the sun, buy them a great gift from your travels and do a video call a couple of times if it won't upset them.

I say this as me and DH have done a few long weekends since having DC and they have absolutely loved staying with Nanny having great fun, haven't missed us at all. I didn't enjoy our first trip due to the mum guilt, then realised DD didn't give a toss we were gone, she was having far too much fun without us.

underneaththeash · 22/08/2021 21:07

Definitely leave them. A honeymoon with a 2 year old anywhere will not be fun.

ZigZagIntoTheBlue · 22/08/2021 21:19

My sister left her kids with me and my husband when she and her husband went on their honeymoon. We were happy to have them and the cousins loved a week of sleepovers all together!

Goldbar · 22/08/2021 21:20

I would go but, like you're planning to, I would keep it to a week rather than a fortnight.

I would also insist on offer to hire a mid-week babysitter to give my mum a break from the kids while I was away. Also on paying for a large food shop for the week. Looking after 2 young kids is exhausting and I'd be very grateful for the help provided. But I wouldn't feel guilty.

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