To feel anxious about birthdays?

[BlossomOnTrees]

And people knowing about it? (Particularly colleagues)?
People make such a fuss when they find out and I hate all the attention. Also hate people watching me open a gift etc and the expectation of doing something amazing for it.
Aibu?

I'm the same, don't have it in Facebook and don't do any thing with friends/family to celebrate. I like to have a quiet day with my DP and DD, might do something quiet like a small pub meal. Always book the day off work and don't tell anyone about it before.

I agree.
I don’t want to celebrate getting older, and I don’t want anything. I have to be happy about wine and chocolate when I buy it for myself every week ! I don’t mean to found ungrateful, I just really don’t want anything.

I feel exactly the same, but the people around me find it hard to understand.

It's mine later this week and am worried my colleagues will remember. I just feel anxiety over it which is really stupid but I hate it all. Especially as I said before, the expectation of saying that I am off to do something amazing when really I will just be having a takeaway with DP. Birthdays are just another day to me but seems I am in the minority there

@BlossomOnTrees

It's mine later this week and am worried my colleagues will remember. I just feel anxiety over it which is really stupid but I hate it all. Especially as I said before, the expectation of saying that I am off to do something amazing when really I will just be having a takeaway with DP. Birthdays are just another day to me but seems I am in the minority there

I feel the same about Xmas day. It’s just another day, but with a lot of expectations. It makes me anxious and disappointed. I’m glad when it’s over. I enjoy the run up more, seeing the lights etc.

Not just you. I refuse to have it acknowledged at all. Work colleagues and family all fine about but took a while to get people to really accept I want absolutely nothing.

The option to celebrate should include the option not to celebrate or be modest. YANBU.

My DSis is like this. I'm the opposite. I have a milestone birthday this coming Saturday and I'm going to be staying with family. I have already bought the tacky tiara and sash and house decorations - I'm going all out! When I get back home I'm having a party for all the friends I've made since moving to my new county.

I feel like this too, especially about presents. My ASD child does too, they hate to be the centre of attention so we make adjustments for cake and present time. I wish my mum had done the same for me when I was a child.

I hate mine too. I hate being the centre of attention, I hate having to fake a happy reaction to a shit present. I hate surprises. I cannot deal with it and it always ruins my birthday as I feel so sick and anxious in the lead up to it.

I now give DH very clear instructions well in advance:

• Small cake at home just with the kids
• Specific ideas on one or two gifts
• Absolutely no surprise party, surprise lunch blah blah blah

I also don't mention my birthday to friends or colleagues and luckily most of them forget or are simply unaware (I don't have FB or anything else that would 'alert' them)

I’m the same and it’s worse than ever this year. It’s my 40th in September and everyone keeps asking what I want and telling me I need to do something big. I’ve no idea what I want and I’m not particularly bothered about doing anything much. I certainly don’t want to do anything big.

Omg this is SO me!! I turn 40 in October and people kept saying surely I can’t be serious about wanting to do something “small with just my closest family” and SURELY I understand everyone wants a massive party excuse after Covid?? I’m so stressed about it I might go away. People really should respect your wishes, whatever they are.

I'm the same. I hate my birthday for some reason. No issues with getting older so it's not that but I always feel a bit depressed around my birthday and dread it. Can't understand all the adults I know who make a huge fuss of theirs and have 3 day parties or trips abroad .
I took annual leave this year on my birthday.

I used to hate Christmas day as all the presents were handed out and everyone watched each other opening them, I felt so anxious knowing it would soon be my turn and having to say thank you etc as a chronically shy child/adult. My dd is the same she has ASD and gets anxious on her birthday opening her presents she doesn't like anyone watching her.

I hate it, can’t stand fuss. I’ve just started a new job and they are so nice there and do collections all the time for people which wasn’t done so much in my last place so kind of dreading it it a bit. I love to give and make someone else happy for their day but I’d just like to pretend I don’t have one

Not unreasonable at all to feel like this. I’m the opposite though, I love my birthday, and I always want to make a fuss of other people’s. I’ve had to learn, and quite rightly so, that some people feel differently.

Same here. Hate a big fuss.

Glad it's not just me. I know we are all different but I really don't understand why birthdays are such a big deal as an adult. I would happily ignore it if i could.

YANBU but they really don’t need to know

Remove it from social media and don’t mention it, they’re very unlikely to remember.

I’m the same, I feel anxious about the kids birthdays and if they will be happy with their gifts, even though they get plenty. I’m not sure what it is as I’m not an anxious person per se. I don’t like fuss

I feel more anxious as the day approaches.
Someone asked me a few months back when my birthday was and I begrudgingly told them but I know they have a great memory so will remember. I am a self conscious person so I hate the whole eyes on me kind of thing. Glad to see I am not alone x