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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not respond when people say “bless you”

87 replies

OswaldOwl · 22/08/2021 12:20

I just watched one of those ‘English etiquette guide for foreign visitors’ videos and it mentioned always say thank you when somebody says ‘bless you’ when you sneeze.

I don’t do this 😬 Thinking back to my childhood, the belief on the school yard was that saying thank you ‘cancelled’ the good luck of ‘bless you’. Obviously that is ridiculous but it might explain why it didn’t develop as an automatic habit, though clearly I should have picked this up since.

I think I might mutter a ‘sorry’ after a sneeze, maybe a thank you if the bless you comes from a stranger, but by and large I don’t respond.
Clearly I have been a rude sneezer for the last 37 years!! How unreasonable / rude have I been?
I like to think I am polite in my other interactions Blush

OP posts:
1AngelicFruitCake · 22/08/2021 14:34

@user16395699

I think it's more rude to go around blessing people who haven't asked for it.
Hooray! Not just me 😄
Meraas · 22/08/2021 14:35

@1AngelicFruitCake

Am I the only one who finds it irritating? 🤔😄 I find it patronising and cringe whenever someone says it. It’s my sneeze, I don’t need your comment thank you!
With that mentality, I hope no one ever offers to hold the door open for you. Hmm
1AngelicFruitCake · 22/08/2021 14:38

Meraas 😄 funnily enough I love all other acts of politeness but I just hate the term ‘bless you’ I just think it’s so needless. They might as well give me a round of applause!

Somanysocks · 22/08/2021 14:42

But there's no such thing as fairies surely.

user16395699 · 22/08/2021 14:51

With that mentality, I hope no one ever offers to hold the door open for you.

On what planet is foisting unwanted blessings on someone remotely comparable to holding open a door? Hmm

Mumoblue · 22/08/2021 14:55

I don’t think people mean “bless you” literally though, in the same way that when I say “pardon me” I’m not asking for an actual pardon.

I don’t know, I’m as atheist as it gets and I still say “bless you”. Mostly automatically, and without meaning behind it.

Original poster
OswaldOwl · 22/08/2021 14:56

[quote GeorgiaMcGraw]@op I hate to tell you this but YABU, the only correct response to "bless you" is to stand up, throw your arms out wide and in your best Brian Blessed voice scream "I AM HEALED BY THE POWER OF THE ALMIGHTY!". Either that or a "thank you" said sheepishly is acceptable. Anyone saying you will kill fairies has no idea how resilient, violent, and well-armed the fairies actually are. Stay on your guard, people.[/quote]
😂😂😂

I’m surprised how many people seem to think of ‘bless you’ in a literal / religious sense. When I say it I may as well be saying “bleshoo”… I am atheist and not actually blessing anyone!

OP posts:
Original poster
OswaldOwl · 22/08/2021 14:57

@Mumoblue cross post!

OP posts:
user16395699 · 22/08/2021 14:59

@Mumoblue

I don’t think people mean “bless you” literally though, in the same way that when I say “pardon me” I’m not asking for an actual pardon.

I don’t know, I’m as atheist as it gets and I still say “bless you”. Mostly automatically, and without meaning behind it.

That's your choice.

For me, I don't like doing things mindlessly when they do have an actual meaning. Especially not religious things that I don't believe in or wish to push on others. I find it disrespectful.

user16395699 · 22/08/2021 15:01

You are literally saying "bless you", of course it is a blessing. If you don't mean to bless someone then use different words. Simple.

Pucarbuile · 22/08/2021 15:03

Hold the phone. I'm from Ireland where blessings and fairies are our bread and butter. How and why have I never heard of this fairy saving/killing business?

Mumoblue · 22/08/2021 15:05

If someone told me they didn’t like people saying “bless you”, I’d certainly try not to do it to them, but I think it’s common and innocuous enough to not bother most people.
Luckily I’m not surrounded by random sneezers so I don’t tend to be blessing people on the regular.

Duochromey · 22/08/2021 15:13

If people aren't actually blessing people when they say it then why on earth are they saying it. Words have meanings!

1forAll74 · 22/08/2021 15:13

I never say bless you if someone near sneezes, and wouldn't say thank you if someone said it to me... It is an old fashioned saying, and was generally used by lots of the oldies (Now dead ) in my family.

One of my cats just sneezed, close to my laptop, then jumped off the bed, as the sneeze woke him up.

SusannahSophia · 22/08/2021 15:15

@Somanysocks

But there's no such thing as fairies surely.
Wash your mouth out with soap! Shock
BluebellsGreenbells · 22/08/2021 15:17

But there's no such thing as fairies surely

Not since you’ve all been saying thank you! Not many left at this rate!

Meraas · 22/08/2021 15:18

@user16395699

With that mentality, I hope no one ever offers to hold the door open for you.

On what planet is foisting unwanted blessings on someone remotely comparable to holding open a door? Hmm

Well if you don’t need someone saying bless you to you, then you don’t need someone to hold open a door for you either.

You can’t pick and choose what polite actions you get to be offended by.

IsThisAkissingBook · 22/08/2021 15:20

Was also told it was bad luck to respond. Also told it's bad luck to sneeze three times in a row and nobody say bless you.

ATowelAndAPotato · 22/08/2021 15:23

There’s a fun article on Babbel about what different counties say when someone sneezes if anyone is interested.

www.babbel.com/en/magazine/how-to-respond-to-sneeze-in-6-different-languages

Antsinyourpanta · 22/08/2021 15:34

I always say thank you but I wouldn’t think someone was rude for not thanking me if I said “bless you” when they sneezed- it’s such a minor thing. In fact, I don’t even decide to say “bless you” consciously, it’s just one of those things you say automatically.

I automatically say bless you if someone sneezes, and I think lots of people do naturally/automatically. DH never says bless you if someone else sneezes and also doesnt automatically cover his nose and mouth when he does which is a much bigger crime!!

Squirrelblanket · 22/08/2021 15:36

I never say bless you and I ignore it when someone says it to me. I don't need blessing when I sneeze. It's not 'good manners', it's a silly and annoying superstition.

Tangledtresses · 22/08/2021 15:38

I've never said thanks when told bless you... no idea why, but you're not supposed to 🤷🏼‍♀️

MrsSchadenfreude · 22/08/2021 15:41

I was always told that if you say thank you, it voids the blessing.

Pemba · 22/08/2021 15:54

It always seems to me very quaint and antiquated to say 'Bless you' when somebody sneezes. My parents never taught me to do it (and they are generally very polite people). This is going back to the 60s and 70s.

But my daughter has somehow picked this up, and gets very irate with me if I don't 'bless' her! So I do try with her, but I just can't get in the habit, and it seems rather silly.

Could it be a regional thing?