Struggling with toddler- please help !

[strugglingmummy2021]

Sorry to post this here, but usually responses are fast and I'm desperate.

Can anybody help me or give some suggestions of what I can do please ?

I have a 19 month old and work full time. During the week, I have a nanny from 9-5. But soon my child will be going to nursery.

I'm struggling so much. I feel like I have burn out or something.

I hate being alone with my child. I find it utterly exhausting. A day spent alone is hell for me. I suffer from a chronic condition which causes me to be more fatigued than the average tired mum. So whilst taking my child out, does help the endless hours go by, I find it absolutely exhausting some weekends. I usually try to get out once a day, but when it rains, I don't. When we go out, it's better and child is happy at playground etc. But even just getting myself and child there is so tiring. The worst is when we get back home. I'm tired from being out and need to carry child down masses of stairs and cook etc and get child ready for bed. It's just so tiring for me.

My husband works at weekends too. Most weekends. So he's out from 6 am until 8 pm. So it's down to me. I don't have family near and often find it hard to get the energy to go to the park with other mums. I try to do it as much as possible, but sometimes I just can't.

The ideal situation is if my mum and sisters were near and we could just all hang out together. In my house for example so I don't need to log my child around constantly. But it's not possible.

It's not every weekend I feel this bad. But a lot of the time I do. I don't really know what I'm expecting to hear in terms of advice, but if anyone has been in a similar situation, do let me know how you moved past it.

I also sometimes don't know if I'm just really lazy, or just unwell with my illness. Before I had my child, I would just stay in and recuperate from the week most weekends and just lie in bed for days. I just can't ever get that rest now and I'm exhausted ! But a small part of me thinks maybe I'm lazy. I just don't know. I'm a mess and I find myself getting really angry when I get this tired and just randomly screaming by myself. It's not ideal.

I just wish my mum or a friend could come over this afternoon. Even if they don't actively help, it really helps to have another adult around to chat to, to pass the time.

You're not lazy. I work part time and still do half the weekends in shifts with 1 parent on duty so we both get a rest. If you're DH works 8-6 every weekend does he ever see your toddler??

Honestly long term jobs have to change.

@Di11y he barely does. He gets one day off, maybe every two to three weeks. Sometimes he gets one day off a week consistently. That doesn't really help me though. He's exhausted too and makes a mess / doesn't help enough and I scream at him all day for ducking off, trying to rest. It's really tough on us all. I try to let him have a lie in, as his work is also physical. We both have a lot on, basically.

So no, I cannot rely on him whatsoever. It's like he's not really part of it, just because he's never here and even when he is, he's tired / needs a break as well etc.

Something needs to change.