Skipping round each other-or wrong signals

[Toadmystery44]

A guy could be interested in me and I will have no idea. He could flirt, do nice things and he would have to tell me directly or hit me with Cupid’s arrow. I can’t pick up hints. So quandary and help me. Is this interested or not?

He is an ex of 18 months. No nasty break up. We stayed in touch and had partners in between. Now single. January lock down we bubbled up. Platonic friends. He was off work with mental health issues so spent my weekday off together and weekends supporting him. We grew closer than before and with no pressures of a relationship. I Started to develop feelings again and I think he has. He said I got him through it and was his rock.

He is now back at work and we still see each other loads. People think we are a couple with how we act. We text loads throughout the day, same frequency now as when we were a couple. He has started to do nice things, which he never did beforehand. When I went on holiday I came back to a newly planted garden. He grows veg and always brings me loads. When we go out to eat, he tries to pay. He never did that as a couple, it was always split.

He is at a wedding today. He messaged this morning and I told him to have a great time. Speak to you tomorrow. He has messaged quite a few times during the day and now at night. Just updating me on his day and what he has been doing. Seems odd that he is texting me when out with friends.

Now I can’t really tell him about my feelings unless I know he feels the same. If I tell him and he is not interested then friendship over. Also his mental health has gotten better, but not back to normal, so not too sure he is ready to hear this. But I would be gutted if he finds a new partner without knowing.

So wise people. Are these encouraging signs, or just a friend being nice as I helped him through a bad time?

Definitely has feelings

Ideally a man should invite you out for a date?

I would be very wary of an ex though. There will be a good reason why he's an ex surely.

To me, he sounds interested. The fact you went out before and have had that attraction, makes it more likely, I think. You're clearly on his mind a lot.
Yes, it's possible that he does just want to be friends, or maybe wants to take things very slowly due to the mental health challenges he's had.
I don't think you'd wreck the friendship by asking. If you'd never had anything between you, then yes it could be a risk; but as you have went out before then I think he'd know it was reasonable of you to ask what was going on, and I think you have established a good enough friendship now, that even if he wasn't interested romantically, you could remain friends.
He seems to have more regard for you now than the first time you went out, so yes, I think the signs are good - unless he's in a place where he doesn't want anything romantic at present. No harm in asking! You can maybe ask about it in a very casual way,if you don't want to let him know quite yet that your feelings are strong? You could mention maybe that folk are asking are you a couple, and just ask him was he thinking that might be a possibility?

I think it sounds like he's interested!
Maybe have some drinks together & sit a little closer to him & see what happens...

@SukiPook I think taking it slowly is what’s happening. I don’t want to spook him, as he only went back to work 3 weeks ago. He is a guy who can’t multi task and think of 2 things at once😂.

But I am impatient. If he said no, then I move on and date others. I always rush things and never leave time.

He is asking who I am dating and if I am on apps. I am not.

When is it a good time to ask him

I'd say, seeing as you dated before and are so close, you could just ask him anytime. Not maybe a "will you go out with me", but rather suss out is he interested- just ask him - you could say that people keep thinking you're a couple again so you were just wondering did he have any thoughts in that area?

Another one here who just doesn't seem to pick up signals. I once totally failed to realise that I had agreed to go on a date with some one. I had a hell of a shock when he kissed me at the pictures - I thought I was just seeing a film with a friend! My advice would be to just slow down, however impatient you are. If he's only been back at work 3 weeks then he probably still needs time to adjust. He sounds very interested in you though, so try sending a few signals of your own and see how he reacts.

Oh, and that date? Well, all turned out well in the end and we've now been married 36 years.

@Confusedmeanderings that’s a sweet story. Glad it worked out for you.

He appeared on Monday evening and stayed till 10pm. Managed to get dinner out of me.

Thursday we went for lunch and he stayed till 7pm.

Friday he popped round to drop something off and again managed to get food out of me. I was hungry snd he had settled in for a chat 😂

Now started being a bit flirty (well dirty jokes) and sitting close to me on the sofa. As opposed to our opposite ends.

But I did offer to stay at mine the other night and he said he was busy with work. Then admitted he can’t sleep at night due to his meds. So not too sure that’s the reason why or friend zoned me.

I can’t read him. Some signals he is interested and others friends.