Bad weather only really matters when you have children

[Welcometotheterrorzone]

This might be a bit of a 'well duh' thread but...
Since when did so much of my happiness depend on the weather?
Child free friends still seem to have amazing weekends and holidays despite it pissing down all week. 'Let's just go to the pub or musuem or stay in and watch interesting box sets' all of which are denied to parents of small children.
Now my life seems to revolve around 'please don't rain' 'did I just feel a spot' and 'we've paid £1,700 for this cottage and we are going to the beach, kids, get your waterproof trousers on!'
I mean, I chose this life, but I never expected to have to spend half my life in a car 'waiting for it to ease up a little?'

Yeah my “approach” means my small child likes the rain too. I bloody don’t though. Standing outside in the pelting rain while your child runs round a playground/jumps in puddles/whatever is fucking shit.

Obviously your parents must be to blame.

Well it's obviously just a huge coincidence that all of my friends and family who have the same approach as me are all just "lucky" that their children enjoy the rain, so I apologise.

Yes of course it's absolutely a huge coincidence. Any one of those friends and family members and their children could have turned out as someone who disliked being outdoors. To be honest I'd wager at least one isn't actually that keen on it and would rather be indoors but because they have no choice they just put up and shut up.

This doesn't happen in other countries. In Spain (where my family live) you don't get any extra parenting points for taking your child out in the middle of the day in the summer.

@Whinge

Yeah my “approach” means my small child likes the rain too. I bloody don’t though. Standing outside in the pelting rain while your child runs round a playground/jumps in puddles/whatever is fucking shit.

Obviously your parents must be to blame.

I just wasn’t brought up properly, what can I say

@RobinPenguins

Christ there’s some smugness being posted on here.

Well it's obviously just a huge coincidence that all of my friends and family who have the same approach as me are all just "lucky" that their children enjoy the rain, so I apologise.

Yeah my “approach” means my small child likes the rain too. I bloody don’t though. Standing outside in the pelting rain while your child runs round a playground/jumps in puddles/whatever is fucking shit.

Agree. My kids are ok in the rain. I don't enjoy it at all though. Given a choice, I would much rather be inside with a good book

@Welcometotheterrorzone sorry you've had a shit holiday weather wise, I do get that, especially if you work full time, I work 3 days and as you say, it gives you much more time to enjoy the better weather.

I'll have to agree to disagree with those of you who think it isn't in some part down to parents' attitude to wet weather, because obviously we're coming at things from different views.

The comment about it not happening in other countries is silly, obviously you wouldn't take your child out in the middle of a summers day, there are very serious ramifications from doing that, sun poses a serious risk to children's health. But no child has ever melted in the great British deluge, as far as I'm aware.

There's a difference between making the best of things and disassociating yourself from reality to the extent that you think life has nothing better to offer than a sleeting seaside break in an overpriced holiday cottage.

I fear for some of you. This is how you end up splurging your retirement savings on a beach hut in Frinton-on-Sea or Eastbourne and convincing yourself that you're living the dream as you wrap up warm in thermals and waterproofs to brave the -3 degree wind chill and boil water for a cup of tea on a camping stove.

@Welcometotheterrorzone

This doesn't happen in other countries. In Spain (where my family live) you don't get any extra parenting points for taking your child out in the middle of the day in the summer.

I never thought I’d see competitive parenting over children enjoying the rain being superior to others but yeah, imagine the Spanish version of mumsnet where they’re all “oh I take my child out in the middle of the day, they don’t get heatstroke, they love it. It’s just how you bring them up? Heatstroke is for the weak”

Not sure about holidays, but im child free and single and despise the rain. It really affects my mood. If i wake up and see some sun (or even a bit of light coming through) my mood is automatically one of energetic, contented and just generally good. Mornings like now where its 11am and i have to have my bedroom light on to colour cos its crap outside, mske me feel all meh.
Im a recovering addict so used to changing my mood with drugs. No amount of box sets or museums or fluffy socks will lift my mood. I need to get outside at least once a day (which i do), but i hate hate hate the bad weather. It really drags me down. I get soaked on my walks so then put comfies on when im home- but for me, ive never understood the appral of a rwiny day with hot drinks and box sets and similar. I can watch box sets when its nice out too. I think for me it really does come down to artificial light.

I'm the kind of person who gets a masochistic enjoyment from a muddy, sodden 8 mile run in a t-shirt and leggings. As for wet weather gear, my house is like a clearance sale for a large outdoors shop. I remember pre-children, sodden washouts while camping that if it was actually foul enough to stop us from hiking, alcohol could still ensure a good time even within a dank tent.

Unfortunately I've created (despite my strong moral fibre and fondness for goretex) pesky, high-energy, children one of whom has an awkward dose of autism with sensory processing disorder. He has never, despite owning many puddle suits in his younger years liked the wetness of rain, the noise of rain on his crinkly waterproofs, the dirt of puddles, nor the noise of overcrowded indoor venues (back when you could spontaneously turn up). He also doesn't like crafts/ colouring in because they hurt his dyspraxic, hypermobile hands.
It's a toss up between meltdowns because he didn't burn enough energy and meltdowns because of the sensory cost of getting out to burn energy (the latter is better as he has less steam left to plough into the meltdown).

There really is such a thing as bad weather, despite quality gear, and it can really make life much harder and ruin a holiday. It was definitely simpler pre-children.

Let's just go to the pub or musuem or stay in and watch interesting box sets' all of which are denied to parents of small children.

What do you mean? I did all of those things with my DC when they were small

@Planetsandstars

There is a massive difference between not minding a two minute dash from car to tesco in the rain, and actively choosing to be out in it for hours at a time.

I like being outside with children, it is by far preferable to being inside. But when you get a spell of prolonged bad weather, it’s impossible to do it every day, even if that is only to let waterproof clothing dry out.

Then I’m sorry but these rosy images of toddlers gaily jumping over puddles is a bit Shirley Hughes and not altogether realistic. The reality is slate grey skies, deserted areas and you stand alone with whingeing children.

It’s one of the main reasons lockdowns two and three were soul destroying.

Yes. This. I'm already dreading this coming winter.

My children are older now but the competitive parenting on here is hilarious. Yes it’s all down to parenting that you have a toddler who can peruse a museum for hours and sit quietly in the pub...Or maybe, at that age it’s their personality.

I had one that could and one that couldn’t. For the noisy climbing/running off one - soft play hell it was. We actually got thrown out of a museum once as he broke the barrier and jumped on Tudor bed...I’m a terrible mother. Or maybe museums and toddlers were a very bad idea.

Anyway. I agree parenting young children in the rain in this country is shit. Especially in summer, on a U.K. holiday. It does get easier as they get older though.

Can't you go to the pub for a meal, the museum for a day or have a movie film day with small children?!

I think it depends on the children. I wouldn't enjoy a meal at the pub- very limited adult talk due to entertaining the kids, no long languishing coffee and chatting because the kids have already sat for 1.5 and are getting bored. Mine won't concentrate long enough for a film, one doesn't like TV/ screens at all. We could go to a museum but not touching stuff would be a challenge for my youngest and I wouldn't be able to relax (they're 2). So all those things just sound like high stress activities to me which would bring no enjoyment to any of us. It's much easier to entertain my children where they can run and play without restraint/ in a safe environment and where sitting/ limited movement activities are short. It's not that my kids are 'naughty' it's about age appropriate expectations and personality.

I agree with limitations of a cottage.

With very young children it's better to book a caravan or lodge on a campsite with activities such as indoor pool and soft play.

Somewhere on a beach so you can go out regardless of weather and arrive directly at home rather than needing to get into car wet.

It's also much easier to go to the restaurants at these places because it's normal for them to be full of children imitating yo yos!

I think the point is it’s fair enough to say it’s easier doing stuff with kids when it’s not raining, but this woe is me because I have kids I need good weather to enjoy things is a loads of bullshit. You are also no more ‘entitled’ to better weather simply because you have kids, lots of people love the sun for their own reasons. You sound like a bit of a twat tbh.

I think that OP is reasonable to say that bad weather is shit with small children, but not to say that it only matters to people with children (though I assumed that was a jokey exaggeration).

I also think there's some mixing up here of what would be good if it were a brief break from children and what's nice if you don't have children. Right now I would adore a long weekend of sitting in a country cottage with DH, drinking wine and reading books (and having sex) as the rain pelts down on the roof. Before we had children, though, I'd have thought that was a really boring holiday - that's all stuff we could do at home - and so would have been very disappointed by the rain.

@EffYouSeeKaye I'm not a fellow farmer. I'm from a farming background and still live in a farming community, hence why I went for the far easier option of just my own horses at home for pleasure and working elsewhere! And I completely agree farming in the rain makes everything else appear easy. Fingers crossed for better weather, an expensive ball ache for me is a farmers livelihood.

@NewMum0305

Rolling my eyes at people making suggestions for activities that take up about 30 mins at best!

My daughter loves baking, drawing etc but it’s pretty tough to fill a 12 hour day with those activities! And as for a movie day for pre-schoolers - is the plan to have 8 or so back-to-back films??

But you don't have to entertain them for 12 hours. You pop them next to where their toys are and they play there. You then go and do other things for a bit. Then you might come back, do a bit together, then go off again.

You aren't honestly suggesting entertaining your child non stop constantly for 12 hours. Surely no one is suggesting that.

You do... leave them and go and get on with things, right?

You do... leave them and go and get on with things, right?

Yeah, totally. I put my 18mo down next to some toys a few hours back and cracked on with some floorboard polishing upstairs. There were some big crashing noises at first and the taps were on for QUITE a while and it sounds like maybe somebody pulled the TV down and I think the front door opened or something?, but it's all been quiet since then. Who says they can't entertain themselves, right? God, people make such a drama out of parenthood.

I agree, my DH was away this weekend and soft play closed coz of COVID. It was pouring. A dry spell appeared so took DD to park. First time mum and new puddle suits made things slippy but omfg DD fired off the end of the slide like a Cannon ball. Felt like such a bad mum. She wasn’t hurt really though just more scared (she’s almost 2). I was the only one there as well and looked a right weirdo probably trying to make seesaw go one sided as DD won’t hold on by herself. I’m honestly about to drop a shit ton of money I probably need on those pikler triangle thingies so when I’m trapped indoors again I can at least channel her energy a bit and if she falls, it’s not like a cannon ball situation I hope. She loves being outside but thankfully will watch tv. And has discovered my iPad but I’m trying to waen her off it just now. So no, yanbu I feel nervous when it’s raining and my DH is away. I live in one of the wettest parts of the uk too so I can handle it ok most times, but man it sucks at times with a two year old

@GoldenOmber. You're doing it all wrong. Babies should adhere to a strict 4-hourly feeding schedule and should otherwise be left outside in their prams on their own to 'air' for most of the day, whatever the weather.

When they start to toddle, it's time for the baby cage playpen. The little monsters can be parked safely in there while their parents drink tea and watch box sets get on with polishing the silverware and fluffing the sofa cushions for visitors. There is no need for the child, however young, to interrupt the parents' daily activities and indeed this should be firmly discouraged.

@chickenbasket

Well it's obviously just a huge coincidence that all of my friends and family who have the same approach as me are all just "lucky" that their children enjoy the rain, so I apologise.

Sometimes I read mumsnet and some of the utter rubbish about parenting young children and I understand why people find life and children such a chore - talk about making life difficult.

What an unpleasant post. I have a 3 year old and a baby and take them out in all weathers. I grew up in one of the wettest, snowiest parts of the UK. My favourite sports are skiing and hiking so we have all the right clothes and I'm used to cold. That doesn't make parenting a toddler and newborn on a cold, wet day easy - doable certainly, but I just don't understand why anyone wouldn't find it more pleasant on a mild, dry spring or summer's day. And as has been posted before, even if the toddler is fine, I'm not! Breastfeeding in a snow covered playpark, some without even a bench, was not my favourite part of lockdown.

@WiggIyWoo I feel you, my second was born in December.

@Cirin yeah you do that, when they're 4. Are you really suggesting you can do that with a baby or toddler?