Annoying SIL wants to visit newborn

[sisterinlawsareannoying]

Apologies for long thread, name changed for privacy.

My SIL1 is overbearing and annoying. She thinks she’s super helpful but she’s not and her visits are always stressful (eg she says she will drive at say 10 but can turn up anytime and I spend ages tidying up after her when she finally goes)

When pregnant to prevent arguments Id pre agreed with husband that SIL1 would visit after we had DS2 but that we would have a few weeks to bond with baby and adjust before she came. He was completely fine with this.

SIL1 has claimed she wanted to visit us/DS1 all summer but hasn’t due to her being disorganised / cancelling (teaching assistant so holidays suit her as we live miles away). We pencilled in last week and she cancelled so moved to next week but only loosely as i warned her I could be having the baby imminently and I know she’s flakey so thought it unlikely to happen (she’s cancelled previous visits)

I’ve just had DS2 two weeks early and SIL1 has now decided she definitely wants to come on Tuesday and take DS1 out of nursery and mess up our schedule etc to "help" us. It won't help it will be awful.

I’ve said no to husband and he went mental at me, he says I’m the unreasonable one. I've checked and she hasn’t had to arrange travel or transport as she was coming with her husband who drives to London a few times each week.

DH actually isn’t even really bothered about seeing SIL1 visiting but he loves SIL2 (they lived together growing up but not with SIL1). He really wants SIL2 to visit but SIL1 gets jealous unless she is treated equally or better by DH.

I’m happy for SIL2 to visit as she’s great, she’s already said she wants to give us a couple of weeks space as she’s really considerate so all good there, same with FIL/SMIL etc.

SIL1 is also the kind of person who goes anywhere does anything and doesn’t care about germs / covid etc (we caught covid off her last year when she invited us to her house when rule of 6 was on and she failed to mention till we turned up she had invited way over 6 people, had I known I would not have gone and she knew that hence not saying)

AIBU to have put SIL1 off visiting?

Thanks for the replies and the advice. It’s been hard to tell if it is me or them due to the hormones/tiredness but as comments are split maybe it's not that clear cut.

To give context shes one of those that will come and take baby / pick him up whilst sleeping and wake him then hand him back to me. She will also expect me/ us to wait on her. Husband will be too busy entertaining her to do much to help (think BBQ man)

Looking after DS1 usually involves her playing with him for 5 minutes then sitting on Facebook / WhatsApp etc and leaving him to entertain himself / me to take over so nursery would be better for him /me.

It's how she is, SIS2 and all the others completely acknowledge it but DH refuses to.

The thing that annoys me most is i knew this would happen which is why I’d pre agreed with DH a few weeks space.

Im going to stand firm and say no until I'm physically and mentally ready to cope