to ask how long it takes to get over a traumatic event?

[user8975664]

Was chatting with a colleague yesterday who was upset about a day she had booked off as annual leave been cancelled.
I asked her why she wanted the day off and why she was upset, she told me that it was the anniversary of the day she was diagnosed with cancer (8 years) and she still found it difficult to work that day as she gets anxious and emotional.
Another colleague moaned that she was been pathetic needing the day off every year, which I felt was a bit out of order if she needs the day off if its best for her then let her have it.

A traumatic event can stay with someone forever.

Surely she can take her leave how she wishes?

Your colleague is an asshole

I don’t think you ever do do you.

Trauma is trauma to whoever it happens to and in whatever form.

There’s no answer to this.

Although, why did you ask why she wanted leave?

Your colleague is a thoughtless, tactless, unkind person.

IME it depends what the traumatic event is. I have some things I will never move forward on and on the day it plays on my mind a lot. Another I have to really concentrate not to remember what the date was but the event is there.

Your colleague is an arsehole.

I’ve suffered a traumatic event and I don’t expect it to ever leave me. I think you can learn to live with things but there will always be certain dates and milestones that are hard. Whether she’s 8 years on or 38 years on, I don’t think the impact necessarily lessens. Your colleague’s an arse.

@user8975664

Was chatting with a colleague yesterday who was upset about a day she had booked off as annual leave been cancelled. I asked her why she wanted the day off and why she was upset, she told me that it was the anniversary of the day she was diagnosed with cancer (8 years) and she still found it difficult to work that day as she gets anxious and emotional. Another colleague moaned that she was been pathetic needing the day off every year, which I felt was a bit out of order if she needs the day off if its best for her then let her have it.

I take it the colleague has never been diagnosed with cancer. You don't get over it. Ever. Because you know it can always come back

I wouldn't be upset on the day even the year after, as I don't associate dates with traumatic events, but that's me.
Your colleague should be respected if she does. Your other colleague IBVU.

You never get over it but come to better terms with it.

Work might be being cruel to be kind though, as distraction from negative feelings and anxiety is always better than letting them overcome you.

@spotcheck

Although, why did you ask why she wanted leave?

I asked her as she was upset and I am only working a half day on the day she wants off where as she works a full day so asked her if she wanted to swap if it would help her and thats when she told me the reason.

The other colleague is a terrible ignorant person. Zero brain cells.

You never 'get over' trauma, you just learn to live with it as best you can and for some that might mean not very well at all.

You never 'get over' something that is truly traumatic... You do learn to live with it though. Over time, the event seems less 'sharp' /keen in memory.

It depends massively on the person, what the event was, and what was happening around the time of the traumatic incident, and the persons previous history