Walking home alone

[SteakExpectations]

Sis is 29. Days she doesn’t feel safe walking to the shops in a city and so phones DM every time she pops out.

Yesterday, this was at 7:20pm when it was still light.

AIBU that sis needs to grow the fuck up and walk to the shop by herself without needing mummy on the other end of the phone?

you need to address your levels of compassion.

Is it normal? No, probably not. Is it something she should work on with a professional, if it's linked to trauma or anxiety - potentially. Should you tell her to grow up -- certainly not.

Mum couldn’t talk to sis last night and sis has phoned this morning having a go at her which has made her cry. She’s called her a shit mother which I think it out of order. I don’t think it’s fair to expect someone to drop everything to have a phone conversation every time she wants to go to walk around her neighbourhood in broad daylight.

That's crazy! Your sister needs to grow up.

I agree... 29 and can't walk outside alone? Is this since covid?

What’s her motivation here?

I’m not particularly keen on walking home alone late at night, but that’s fairly normal, and if I have to then I will get e.g. a cab/bus where possible. But during the day is madness.

And even if she has some issue she needs to deal with, ringing your mum and calling her a shit mother at 29 is ridiculous, and on that score yes, she needs to grow the fuck up, and I would tell her so.

Weird

If it had been dark or going dark, I would have more compassion and understanding.

As it stands, I don’t get why you’d choose to live somewhere that you don’t feel safe walking to the shop at 7:20pm in the middle of August.

Sis has told mum that she’s a shit mum because she always acts concerned and then when she rang her she can’t have been very concerned because she couldn’t/wouldn’t talk on the phone to her. Mum thinks she’s right and feels shit about it.

In your OP you sound like a wanker and in your drip feed your sister does. Maybe a bit of both?

@pleasekeeptotheright The name of the game isn’t “Spot the wanker” it’s “Am I Being Unreasonable” 😜

Does she have anxiety? I think she is being unreasonable TBH .MAybe work on these issues with a Counsellor .At 7 30 pm on a Summer evening she is being very demanding of your poor DM!

Ok then. YABU and so is she

You need to tell her that she will be far less safe if she's on the phone rather than remaining entirely aware of her surroundings.

As things stand, all that will happen if she gets attacked is that someone a couple of miles away will know about it immediately, and what help will that be?

@SteakExpectations Has something happened in the past?

Nothing has happened that I’m aware of. Just a small town girl moving to the city. I don’t think mum telling her that she’s worried about her is in any way helpful. It feels like mum wants to be needed, and sis likes being babied.