To mute my unbearably smug new parent friends (lighthearted)

[Letshaveablackcelebration]

Lighthearted but I honestly hope I was never as smug and dreadful as my friends who have just had a baby. It’s a constant stream of parenting memes and parenting advice on social media with endless #blessed posts, 30 baby pics a day and now my friend has told me she can’t relate to people without children as how could anyone understand the bond between a mother and child.

They have become unbearable smug twats - I might have to mute them until they become normal humans again! Why does this happen to usually sane lovely people?!

Aibu?!

@stairgates

First time parents syndrome I had it bad, stayed an extra stop on the bus once talking to some poor old lady who happened to tell me what a lovely baby I had

😂😂 I remember genuinely knowing that my baby was 'way more so than normal' cute, and not knowing how I'd managed to produce the most gorgeous baby to have ever existed 😂 I never said as such, but would desperately search for compliments from family, 'do you think he's cute?? Oh, you do?! He really is, isn't he!'

My friend was like this with her first, her daughter was a very 'good' baby and has the squeakiest, broad accent voice so we were treated to lots of cute videos of her saying lots of words, dancing at festivals, basically fitting into their life. Then my friend had her second and she has pretty much collapsed into PND and her FB has gone from all the hashtag blessed, so cute, she is my world to a diary of how hard she is finding it all. It has been pretty awful to watch her world view of parenting change so much. I feel horribly sad for all of them. Particularly the eldest DD who is no longer really mentioned unless it's to grumble about hard having a baby and energetic toddler is. I actually miss the PFB joy now . I do wonder how kids will view all this documentation of their life as they get older? Do you think they will rally against it?

Yeah they tend to go quieter when PFB gets to the toddler years I find 😂. I have a lovely friend who is in the early weaning phase with her DC and literally no baby has ever tucked into such a range of healthy, delicious and international foodstuffs! Yeah mine used to eat couscous, all the veg and anything spicy before they got to 2 as well - after that, not so much. She may well end up feeding PFB plain ham sarnies on 50/50 bread and the slightly less sugary version of coco pops by the time they are at school too.

@heidipi and wait until they are teenagers the amount of crap my two teenage DS's eat...I could weep when I thought of all that time I spent making organic baby led weaning crap.

I fear in your place I'd be very tempted to offer one or two sarky comments on their parenting advice. When you've been a parent for only a few weeks that really is pretty daft.

I’m sceptical of these sorts of posts to be honest. If everything was truly hunky dory and they loved parenting so much wouldn’t they just shut up and enjoy it?!! I subset of it’s a good outlet for parents feeling overwhelmed or lonely or like they have no other purpose anymore.

I agree with this. The people who I know who have been like this on Facebook were those who really struggled with their mental health, had awful husbands or had other shit going on.

I also had a couple of friends who were obsessed with feeding their children healthy food. It was a manifestation of their anxiety and something they could control during a very difficult time.

SimonJT
Good work!

@SafeMove I can already see that coming! Offered to take mine out for lunch last week and the only place they wanted to go was Greggs 😂 everyone delighted for under a fiver - win!

Ah, I have some of these just now, too.

I am prepared to cut them some slack, as their journey to parenthood was extremely difficult and at times traumatic, but I have been making quite extravagant use of the 30-day snooze function on FB.

@heidipi off topic but how old is your DC and how do they eat now?

I was determined not to raise a fussy eater like I was (weaned on what we ate) and now I have a toddler that exists on plain white carbs. Eats a lot of fruit but the lack of varied diet is killing me inside.

For thread purposes I hope I kept my PFB to myself, or didn’t irritate anyone at least. Admittedly my DC is after a shit ton of expensive years of IVF and losses so I think I’ve been humoured at times

@NerrSnerr

I’m sceptical of these sorts of posts to be honest. If everything was truly hunky dory and they loved parenting so much wouldn’t they just shut up and enjoy it?!! I subset of it’s a good outlet for parents feeling overwhelmed or lonely or like they have no other purpose anymore.

I agree with this. The people who I know who have been like this on Facebook were those who really struggled with their mental health, had awful husbands or had other shit going on.

This. They're trying so very hard to make sure everything looks fantastic while behind the scenes it's a big old mess. I feel bad for a lot of them.

P.S I post a bit on SM bit probably 1 a month and I’m always very mindful of how it felt when I was on the outside.

I’m not into the blessed and hardest job shit anyway. I’d take my non-sleeping toddler over say being a heart surgeon.

Much less stressful.

@Dragon50 eldest DC (10) is still moderately fussy, was much worse between the ages of about 2.5 and 5 and gradually improved since then. Plenty of stuff she won’t try at home but she eats what’s she’s given politely at friends’ houses etc. I do believe she doesn’t like stuff from the way she holds things at the front of her mouth when chewing to avoid taste and texture IYSWIM, but I think she’ll grow out of it. for now she doesn’t eat crusts, we have the same plain veg alongside most meals and we all don’t eat the same thing every day as it’s too frustrating/boring. Youngest is 8 and not really fussy at all but there are some basic things they don’t overlap with (e.g. standard pasta dishes) and some of the food refusal behaviour rubbed off on DC2 for a while. So all fairly typical really and the main casualty has been my enjoyment of cooking! The idea that kids are fussy because they’re weaned on nuggets and smiley faces is shite though IMHO.

@sashagabadon ooh god no, my 2 are 10 & 14 so well past the PFB stage thank god! I am in perimenopause too so have even less interest in talking nappies and puréed food these days!!

Thanks @heidipi, you’ve given me some hope.

I was a fussy eater until my late teens, probably still am in some ways (I never inflict it on others). I gave DC shit that I don’t even eat to avoid fussiness

I wanted the tot eating well. I haven’t yet succumbed to dinosaur nuggets (I make my own). Ive only just started buying oven chips.

I don’t outwardly judge others but I do feel sad at all that lovely food they are missing out on.

Probably because I regret all the good food I wouldn’t touch. Was a lot slimmer in those days mind, silver lining and all.

All I can say is having DC is humbling, I’m going to have to go Iceland in a disguise to Turkey twizzler up at some point, aren’t I?

@SimonJT ah yes, the organic food & wooden toys stage 🤣 Friend did say child is only having organic food! I am so tempted to mention that as soon as they go to a kids party they will likely be inhaling the asda cocktail sausages 😆

Uuugh those people! Lol. Don't worry OP.. once the child starts walking, talking back, and generally acting up.. they won't feel so #Blessed any more😂. My sister in law behaves like this on social media and LOVES to dish out advice. She's always a #Blessed #LuckyMummy 🙄.

@LJenn

Uuugh those people! Lol. Don't worry OP.. once the child starts walking, talking back, and generally acting up.. they won't feel so #Blessed any more😂. My sister in law behaves like this on social media and LOVES to dish out advice. She's always a #Blessed #LuckyMummy 🙄.

I have one that loves a blessed hashtag, and every time a #loveyoutothemoonandback. Really, why the moon? Why not the sun.. or the horse head nebulae?

Oh god, yes, everyone knows at least one of these incessant bores.

I've just had a PFB 😂 I've been mindful on how much I'm posting though. It probably works out as 1 per girth or 1 per week, do you think that is excessive? I get friends who aren't parents post twice that amount on the the beautiful lunches, dinners, cocktails they're consuming or endless pics of their fur babies... It's just their life like my PFB is now mine, but I don't mute them. Obviously I would of they were smug and issuing advice! I just post pics of what we've got up to now and then, no smugness or advice.

Girth?! Haha that should have been fortnight

Love you all the world 🤮

It's not even a proper sentence. What does it fucking even mean?

@pleasekeeptotheright 😂 the world appreciates that, thank you.

@Dragon50 I’m impressed with the homemade nuggets, neither DC would eat the ones I’ve tried so I stick with plain (flavourless) chicken now! I recently gave up with 50/50 bread and let them have white now, just keeping on with as much veg (plain and steamed for DC1) as poss and seizing any opportunity for variety with her at all, weirdly she likes calamari so although it’s hardly a health food, at least it’s a different taste and texture. She used to eat lentils and avocado together!