You and a few colleagues apply for the same management position at work

[Holiday124]

Have you ever been in the position whereby a supervisor role has become available at work and you’ve applied for the position?

I’m currently in that position. It’s my first office based job (mostly was self employed).

I’m finding it all awkward. I think management will pick me but now I’m doubting wanting to manage people and anxiety over what will happen.

Just need some hand holding/thoughts.

This shouldn’t be in AIBU! Sorry. Please move if appropriate

Presumably there will be an interview?

Yes, and I didn't get it! 3 of us went for it, 1 got it. Sometimes I think I dodged a bullet, the person in the role is doing it well and it looks quite stressful. But it is a bit galling! We were all up front with each other and wished each other luck, no hard feelings etc.

@54321nought

Presumably there will be an interview?

Yes of course. Applications have been sent in,

it’s just internal*.

@ToooOldForThis

Yes, and I didn't get it! 3 of us went for it, 1 got it. Sometimes I think I dodged a bullet, the person in the role is doing it well and it looks quite stressful. But it is a bit galling! We were all up front with each other and wished each other luck, no hard feelings etc.

Do you not miss the more money/responsibility?

It’s a very normal situation. I’ve never come across bad feelings etc. As long as you don’t turn into some sort of hell boss on getting the job.

I've been in that position and not got the job; I've been in that position and got the job - I was respectively galled and elated but ultimately, it's just work and everything soon settles down and moves on, and not very much changes.

I've been in that position and didn't get the job. The person who did walked out after a . meltdown a few months later. Next time around I didn't apply and have had a stress free few years with blessedly little responsibility.

I think you’d be deluded to think that there won’t be a major shift in your relationships.

If you’re lucky, your colleagues will be decent people and after an initial period of adjustment, things will settle down reasonably amicably. If you’re unlucky, one or more of them will be difficult to manage.

However, I don’t think you should hold yourself back. I think this is one of the things that women do which stops them progressing in their careers: being so desperate not be judged by other women, they pretend to be less able, less confident and less ambitious.

Yes I have - twice in the last 12 months. Both times unsuccessful but with good feedback.

I’m able to move beyond it and just keep going but last time I did feel some resentment based on who was offered the position. However, I’m over it!!

@HeddaGarbled

I think you’d be deluded to think that there won’t be a major shift in your relationships.

If you’re lucky, your colleagues will be decent people and after an initial period of adjustment, things will settle down reasonably amicably. If you’re unlucky, one or more of them will be difficult to manage.

However, I don’t think you should hold yourself back. I think this is one of the things that women do which stops them progressing in their careers: being so desperate not be judged by other women, they pretend to be less able, less confident and less ambitious.

I don’t think my gender is an issue. I’m not really one for being exposed to that thinking… plus 9/10 managers are female at work.

My colleagues have all told me to apply, well apart from one! But they’ve also applied as well.

@QueenHofScotland

Yes I have - twice in the last 12 months. Both times unsuccessful but with good feedback.

I’m able to move beyond it and just keep going but last time I did feel some resentment based on who was offered the position. However, I’m over it!!

Did they choose internal or external?

Yes, got the job. Other applicants then reported to me. Just dealt with the whole thing professionally. Met with each staff member and agreed personal development plans with the view to them progressing the next time a position became available. It's part of a management role to develop staff.

@MajorNeville

Yes, got the job. Other applicants then reported to me. Just dealt with the whole thing professionally. Met with each staff member and agreed personal development plans with the view to them progressing the next time a position became available. It's part of a management role to develop staff.

Thank you

Embrace the awkward because there will be some. I’ve been lucky enough to have been promoted to managing new teams instead of former peers.

I have managed newly promoted supervisors who are managing former peers. I always give the same advice.

1. Don’t hold grudges, it’s not fair to take someone to task about habits or pet peeves that you witnessed as a peer. Develop a ‘this day forward’ approach.

1. Rule number 1 is the first lesson in distancing yourself from your team as their manager. You can’t have the same relationship with them that you did as a peer.
2. Don’t let the authority go to your head at the same time don’t let the team test you too much. Start as you want to proceed. It’s hard to ramp up authority and hard to dial it back if you’ve gone too far.
3. Understand that there will be some settling in time, some hard feelings, and uncertainty. Everyone will be trying to figure out the new way. Patience, understanding, and clear expectations will go a long way.

Not getting the job will benefit from similar advice.

Yes and I got the job. It's been ok but my work place is very cliquey and I think it helped that I wasn't in any of the cliques and don't socialise with anyone at work. Had any of them been my friends rather than work colleagues I can see it might have been more difficult to make the transition.

Yes, I did. I got the job and became their manager. It was, on the whole fine. But a couple of them were vile about it.

I just ensured I always kept calm stuck to facts, followed process. Ignored the snider remarks. They, generally, hated me even more when I wouldn't bite.

Within a year I was pregnant and then got promoted again, so when I went back after mat leave, I didn't have to deal with them again.

Didn't get the job and it was horrible. Did get another promotion and it was horrible. Also got a role as an external candidate that several internal candidates had gone for and didnt get, I came in as their manager, that was really horrible.

I'm in a sector/location where promotions don't come along that often and it tends to be pretty cliquey so you always know everyone you're up against for the job.

Sometimes I do. And I find it hard sometimes when the person who got it comes and asks me for help!
But ultimately i think it meant more to them and there's nothing to say I wouldn't have made a terrible job of it.

Sorry that was in reply to the op asking if I missed the money/responsibility

A couple of times I have joined an organisation in a junior position and been promoted into leadership within the year. It's obviously a bit tricky but I have been lucky to have really great, talented teams who were doing the jobs they wanted for the most part. The issues I had were always where that wasn't the case, and now my approach is to work with that person to develop their career.

That wasn't my response the first time it happened and that was my mistake. I took it personally instead of seeing it from their position (they wanted a better job, they didn't want MY job -- they couldn't care less about me!).

@saltinesandcoffeecups I think that is great advice.

I have been the successful candidate and one of the other applicants just could not cope with me being their boss. He tried to undermine me and cause havoc, and got himself sacked in the process. It was an absolutely horrible time.

Recently I have been the unsuccessful candidate and the person who is now managing me is being an absolute tyrant. I think she is nervous and has never managed staff before but she's going about it all the wrong way. I am hoping she will calm down a bit as she gains confidence, but if not, I will look for another job.

I did this. I got the job. It was fine, had no problems with any one.

Par for the course when I was in local government. Every 2/3 years we'd be reorganised, put "at risk" and go through an exercise of applying for jobs we were eligible to get. So regularly in competition with friends and colleagues. Just one of those things.