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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be pissed?

13 replies

Menissues · 20/08/2021 20:37

Am I being a cow? Been seeing a guy for a few weeks. Hes very nice. Were having fun. We were going to stay at his friends place in the city this weekend. Hes just texted and told me he has to work Saturday night so obvs we can't go. Its early days and I'm trying not to be annoyed but I am

OP posts:
Hellocatshome · 20/08/2021 20:38

Its annoying. What does he do for work? Is it likely he has been called in short notice or is it an excuse?

plodalong12 · 20/08/2021 20:39

Depends. Do you believe he truly has to work or not? If you think he’s lying and made other plans, YANBU to be pissed off. If he actually has been called into work and if he doesn’t go he faces the sack, then ok, I can see how it’s annoying for you, but YABU.

Original poster
Menissues · 20/08/2021 20:40

apparently one of the guys has covid so he has to do the night as the original guy was covering for him.

OP posts:
CheeseyMcCheeseface · 20/08/2021 20:41

It’s short notice, but I wouldn’t be annoyed, but if there is a pattern of behaviour I would 🗑.

Thehop · 20/08/2021 20:43

It’s only been a few weeks.

Poor guy
Can’t help it.

Hypnoshiding · 20/08/2021 20:45

I had to cancel my bank holiday weekend away because another senior manager is in hospital with covid. I now have to be on call.

Dp was a bit miffed, but also realises this is part of my role that I accepted when I joined. So he accepted it. First time it's happened in 4 years, of working there.

Imo, it's only really a big deal if it turns into a pattern. I wouldn't be annoyed the first time. If it carries on fair enough, be annoyed.

SchrodingersImmigrant · 20/08/2021 20:45

Well it's of course not unreasonable to be annoyed at plans change. It would be unreasonable to be annoyed at him directly

Original poster
Menissues · 20/08/2021 20:47

I've been messed round so much I don't want it to happen again.

OP posts:
JulesCobb · 20/08/2021 20:49

@Menissues

I've been messed round so much I don't want it to happen again.
By this guy?
Original poster
Menissues · 20/08/2021 20:51

No not by this guy

OP posts:
Hypnoshiding · 20/08/2021 20:53

@Menissues

I've been messed round so much I don't want it to happen again.
If its not been by him, I think you are being unfair.

You are, essentially, deciding that he can't ever have something come up, that means you have to change plans. If he does, you end the relationship or hold it against him.

Imagine you posted 'been seeing a guy a few weeks, we had plans for the weekend. But my collegue has covid and I have to work. I have let new guy know, but he is really annoyed and saying that he has been messed around before and won't be accepting it from me'

People would be saying that's a huge 'red flag'.

godmum56 · 20/08/2021 21:07

@Menissues

I've been messed round so much I don't want it to happen again.
looking at your user name and this comment, are you sure you are ready to start real world dating again? people aren't perfect....even you!
pinkcircustop · 20/08/2021 21:15

Of course YABU. It’s work he’s not abandoned you to go on a jolly with his mates Hmm

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