To think children can go a couple of hours without eating

[OnlyFoolsnMothers]

Not sure if this is just the people I hang out with but every park play date I go on at the moment (there’s quite a few- child is 4), the other parent brings with them copious amounts of snacks.
I’m in no way a food nazi, my child has a morning snack, the odd ice cream when out on hot days, a biscuit pudding after her dinner - I always carry water and an apple- but even I think she can manage 2 hrs in a park without me having to produce a family size bag of crisps, popcorn, a fruit shoot, a haribo.
I’m really fed up of it, firstly because I’m the grinch who says “no” when my daughter asks if she can stuff her face 2hrs before dinner and secondly, because then (unsurprisingly) the other kid sits there eating rather than playing.
If you take a picnic amount of food to a 2pm play date- pls why?

schools have always had mid morning snack.

It was school milk.

When I was at school, in 1970s, we were also allowed to bring in a snack for break time. People took sweets, crisps, and apple etc.

After school, when we went home, most of us had either a big slice of cake/jam butty, and then dibber later (6pm) or they had early tea (as in meal)

It has alwyas been common for people to have elevenses, and four pm tea time which included cake/biscuits.

This idea that snacks are new is rubbish.

@Waspsarearseholes

Wow so riled by me- touch a nerve? Yeah. Judgemental, small-minded people tend to 'rile' me. You ought to try expanding your world a little bit. You'll be surprised at first but after a while you might start to get used to the fact that all kinds of people share your parks.

Have you been drinking? Like seriously you need to put into context, I have said I don’t think a bag of family size Doritos needs to be eaten on a play date in a park and you conclude I’m small minded and you despair of me…tad dramatic. Maybe aibu isn’t the place for you, it tends to contain opinions

@OnlyFoolsnMothers

Worst worst case my child faints from hunger after an hr of running around I could go buy them a snack from any of the thousand shops/ cafes- I’m sure we’d cope !

But they don't faint. They just start fighting with other kids or having meltdowns over nothing. That's what happens to a lot of young children when they get hungry. Strategic snacks (sorry, "food") make for MUCH pleasanter outings. I try to avoid my 3 year old getting hungry for this reason. Not that that's a likelihood given how often he asks for something to eat, which is irritating. But as long as it's healthy food and he eats his main meals and is a healthy weight, what's the issue??

Also, and this is key, eating frequently is exactly what they do in early childcare settings and when you see the list of what they eat at nursery, it's a HUGE amount! They eat every two hours - morning snack 10.30, lunch 12.30, afternoon snack 2.30, tea at 4.30. Morning snack can be bagels and a pile of fruit, mid afternoon "snack" can be macaroni cheese and yoghurt, tea can be bangers and mash and peas plus pudding and then my son will still eat a full evening meal at 6!

@bakingdemon

We have breakfast at 7 and lunch at 12, so 2.5yo DS does need to need something between those meals. He never stops running or jumping or climbing and burns a huge amount of energy. Heck, I need something to eat between those meals!

Yep my child tends to have a morning snack too- never said I was anti snacks

[quote Hardbackwriter]@JanisJ what, in the 90s? There were pretty much all the snacks there are now! Unless you grew up on an isolated farm surely you saw other children eating a bag of quavers or wotsits from time to time?![/quote]
I was a child in the 90s/2000s - favourite ‘junk’ snacks were crisps, popcorn, chocolate, nuts and sunny D, which all existed then. Liked cereal bars and fruit too.

I simply don't believe that you've encountered multiple people giving a four year old a family sized bag of Doritos for a snack.

@FreekStar2

YANBU!

Two hours is like from 9am until 11am.

This is why we have an obesity problem!

The snack culture is bonkers.

When my dd went to preschool she started at 9.30 and was there until 12.00. Despite her having a good breakfast, they seemed to think that at 11.am they all needed two slices of toast, some fruit and a yoghurt. That's more calories than a grown adult would need. She would never eat her lunch afterwards. No three year old needs this much food. A bit of fruit would have been enough- it's a snack, not a full meal!

So your 3 year old ate all of that and snack time (I've never seen a nursery provide that much at snack time and I've worked with many) but then not her lunch? So she didn't consume more calories than an adult then and therefore this is not 'why we have so much obesity'. She self regulated, a really good thing to learn.

I've worked in settings where parents have stipulated no snacks, no this, no that. Let me tell you those children were OBSESSED with food far more than the ones who were allowed half a breadsticks and a satsuma at 11am ever were. Personally I see that as storing up more trouble down the line than including healthy snacks ever could.

Theres some bad early years settings out there I'm not denying, and that does seem excessive for a.midmorning snack (unless it's just that toast, yoghurt and fruit were available rather than all children were forced to eat huge portions of each) but I think the good ones are generally pretty good.at knowing what works best for the majority of children in their care.

@Hardbackwriter

Yes, but it just wouldn’t be AIBU if the op had seen a child eating a small snack like most of us give.

They are always ‘stuffing their faces’ with ‘huge bags of crisps’ and share sized bottles of Coke. And mums are waiting outside trembling with anticipation to pour half a massive bag of haribo in their chubby child’s mouth.

Exactly @Kanaloa - I've been trying to think of a snack food that didn't exist in the 90s and I can only really think of those fruit winder things, I don't think we had those yet? I actually remember the launch of cheese strings because there was a big accompanying ad campaign.

In my OP I have stated these are people I’m on play dates with, the food I’ve directly been offered

Maybe aibu isn’t the place for you, it tends to contain opinions

Indeed it does. Mine being one of them. Perhaps it's not really the place for you, if all you're after is for people to agree with you?

OP how often does it actually happen that you go on a play date to the park and “the very first thing they do is open a giant bag of crisps and pass to their DC”?

Are you talking about people taking unhealthy snacks to the park to have over the course of the visit, or people turning up to the park and doing nothing but “shove” (to use your word) crisps in their children’s mouths?

It’s still none of your business either way obviously, but I’m sensing an element of exaggeration in your posts to try to mask the fact that you’re just extremely judgy.

@Waspsarearseholes

Maybe aibu isn’t the place for you, it tends to contain opinions

Indeed it does. Mine being one of them. Perhaps it's not really the place for you, if all you're after is for people to agree with you?

I take objection to over dramatic rudeness

@Hardbackwriter

Exactly *@Kanaloa - I've been trying to think of a snack food that didn't* exist in the 90s and I can only really think of those fruit winder things, I don't think we had those yet? I actually remember the launch of cheese strings because there was a big accompanying ad campaign.

Cheese strings weren’t around but baby bel were, and they’re much the same. I would even say we snacked more in my childhood than kids seem to now - I remember getting in from school and getting a bag of crisps and a Dr Pepper to watch drake & josh.

You have had a bashing

Ikwym. We go to the park and have been school meets three and at3pm
A huge bag of crisps , sausage rolls , biscuits sweets etc

Really no need for all of that

yes a snack is fine. Dd 4 might have one of the following, app,e , mini bag of cookies or party rings, think 5/6 in a packet, banana , raisins or breadsticks or brioche

One item if says hungry. Tbh she usually has a snack 3 ish but esp if running bout with friends

But n9 nerd for a huge picnic of stuff if not a meal time

I never did snacks with mine. They had free access to the fruit bowl but rarely bothered - unless I cut it up for them!

@SlipperyDippery

OP how often does it actually happen that you go on a play date to the park and “the very first thing they do is open a giant bag of crisps and pass to their DC”?

Are you talking about people taking unhealthy snacks to the park to have over the course of the visit, or people turning up to the park and doing nothing but “shove” (to use your word) crisps in their children’s mouths?

It’s still none of your business either way obviously, but I’m sensing an element of exaggeration in your posts to try to mask the fact that you’re just extremely judgy.

The last three play dates last week each mother within the first 10mins started offering up snacks- and it’s a pattern I’m seeing more and more of- the types of snacks combined with how quickly into a meet up they are pulled out.

I agree and disagree at the same time. My 9 yes old could eat all of us under the table!

Constantly asking for food to snack on. Definitely not hungry but just loves eating…

Cereal, toast for breakfast. Eats about 4 bananas a day, constantly wanting grapes, apples and kiwis throughout the day so that’s fine. Snacks on yogurts too and peppers.

Can’t go an hour without wanting something but because it’s healthly I don’t mind.

Hand cheese. DC loves cheese…..

Has

We do Breakfast, Morning Tea, Lunch, Afternoon Tea & Dinner. If my kids are still hungry in between they can have a veggie snack. (Carrots and hummus, cherry tomatoes ect.)

How and what other people feed their kids though, I really don't care. As long as they are being fed, it's none of my business.

Blimey, touched a few nerves here OP! It’s been a while since I did the toddlers in the park thing, but i have to say I felt exactly the same as you even 10 years ago.

I always had a few bits in my bag, but it would never have occurred to me to pack a rucksack full of rice cakes and chocolate bars and cut up fruit for a 2 hour play date at the swings - different strokes, whatever.

I did have one friend in particular, though, who DID NOT STOP shoving food in her kids’ faces. Admittedly she had three boys - pretty lively and full on, burnt a lot of energy - but she fed them non-stop, even straight after lunch, even when they were actively pushing her away and refusing to eat what she offered, in which case the snacks would get progressively more sugary and crappy until they were all safely grazing again. Those kids never, ever ate a proper meal at dinner time, which she couldn’t understand as they’d ‘done so much running around’.

There was also a bit of low level judgement towards anyone who hadn’t sufficiently prepped for a day out by bringing half a fucking supermarket in a satchel.

She definitely equated constant feeding with being a good mum, which was borne more out of her own insecurity than her kids’ physical needs, and I do wonder how much the general culture of eating on the go and constant consumption plays on people’s anxieties when it comes to parenting.

[quote Hardbackwriter]@JanisJ what, in the 90s? There were pretty much all the snacks there are now! Unless you grew up on an isolated farm surely you saw other children eating a bag of quavers or wotsits from time to time?![/quote]
I grew up in a working class small town in east anglia in the 90s!

At school you got a cardboard milk box at break, and then a piece of fruit after school.

What did other people get as a snack in the early 90s?

My eldest daughter's behaviour has always nose-dived if hungry. A quick cereal bar and water mid morning or afternoon and she's back on an even keel. She eats well at meal times and isn't overweight. Works for us. It would be snack at about 10:30 and 3/3:30 so yes I'd be whipping out something at your 2pm playdate if it went on past 3.

I was given endless access to snacks as a child and really didn’t exercise enough to warrant them. Unsurprisingly I was an underweight child and a perfectly normal weight as an adult. Giving kids choices doesn’t automatically mean they end up on a relentless treadmill towards obesity.