Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

Original poster

To be cross with this swimming teacher

20 replies

smartiejake · 30/11/2007 19:38

DD2 comes home from school on Monday rather upset as has been told to write apology letter to swimming teacher for being rude.
Her class teacher was not there (as she has her PPA time) and apparently she was reported to the accompanying TA by the swimming teacher.
DDs recount of events goes as follows.
She came out of the changing room but her hat was not on properly so the swimming teacher had a go at her. (her hair is v. long and thick and it's hard to get it on)Swimming teacher says she didn't try hard enough and jams hat on her head over her ears. She then said something to dd who said pardon as she could not hear her. Swimming teacher repeats comment but dd still didn't hear her. Teacher then loses temper and tells her to sit out. 5 mins later teacher grabs dd and pushes her towards the pool telling her to join the lesson saying that she could do without "gobby girls" like her in her lessons. She also accused dd of being rude before which dd has no recollection of.
I have never had a complaint like this before. Teachers have always said she is a delighful polite helpful girl.
Perhaps she might have sounded rude when she said pardon but calling her a gobby girl? WHo is the grown up here?
Should I complain or AIBU?

OP posts:

colditz · 30/11/2007 19:40

Yes, you should complain. Swimming teacher sounds like a twat.

Desiderata · 30/11/2007 19:41

It doesn't sound too good does it? All the classic symptoms of PMT.

Perhaps leave it until the next lesson and see how she is then?

cornsilk · 30/11/2007 19:42

Definitely complain. What a cow.

DaisyMoo · 30/11/2007 19:42

I'm not sure I'd complain at this stage, but would certainly ask for clarification of what your dd is supposed to have said that is rude.

LIZS · 30/11/2007 19:48

how old is dd2 ? Was hte report form the tA or dd? Not saying your dd is untruthful but is it possible she hasn't quite got the story straight or misheard again ?

edam · 30/11/2007 19:50

if your dd's report is accurate (and it's easy for things to be missed out or misinterpreted even if dd is trying to give a full record of events) then the swimming teacher was very wrong. Sounds short-tempered, unreasonable and rude - not a good example.

If any apologies are in order, they should be mutual!

DarthVader · 30/11/2007 19:53

"gobby girl"???!!!

surely unacceptable language for anyone who works with children?

I would go on a fact finding mission to find out what actually happened here.

perpetualworrier · 30/11/2007 19:55

I would ask the school to clarify what happened and what she needs to appologise for. You could say if my child has been rude to an adult she will be dealt with firmly, but I need to have all the facts first please.

Original poster

smartiejake · 30/11/2007 20:26

She is 9. I know that her version of events might not be completely accurate and she may have spoken rudely to the teacher (although I have never known this to happen before.) but but either way, man handling her and then calling her a gobby girl !

OP posts:

perpetualworrier · 30/11/2007 20:43

Smartie, I wasn't suggesting that she had been "gobby" and even if she was it is not acceptable that a teacher used this type of language, but I thought it might be good to get the teacher/school to tell you exactly what happened without actually saying I don't belive my little one could have done this. I am master at avoiding confrontation

shreksmissus · 30/11/2007 20:58

Message withdrawn

shreksmissus · 30/11/2007 21:01

Message withdrawn

helenhismadwife · 01/12/2007 11:37

I would be tempted to write a letter to the teacher asking for clarification of exactly what your dd is supposed to have done and outline your daughters version of events

YumzieMumzieLaura · 01/12/2007 21:02

I say complain or go and speak to the swimming teacher in question face to face!

Reallytired · 02/12/2007 14:55

Were you actually at the swimming pool? You only have your daughter's side of the story.

Sorry to be nasty, but most parents see no fault in their children. Nine year old kids can be horrid. Kids of any age are also selective with the truth.

I would get your daughter to write a letter of apology, even you feel an apology is not needed. I would also ask to talk to the TA to clarify exactly what happened. If you are not happy then talk to your daughter's teacher.

Original poster

smartiejake · 02/12/2007 18:45

My daughter did write a letter of apology and took it in the next day. I am not one of these parents who think their children can do no wrong. I accept that perhaps she may have seemed rude in the tone of voie she used with the teacher. The phrase gobby girl is not one she had heard before and I know she has not made this up. I also have a friend who works as an additional ta in dds class and she said dd is a well behaved polite and hardworking child. If I had ever had a complaint about rudeness before I would be less likely to take it seiriously but it is completely out of character.

OP posts:

Plinkyplonk · 02/12/2007 18:51

Even if your dd's attitude was a bit off, the teacher had NO right to grab your dd and push her.

hatwoman · 02/12/2007 18:58

one way of making your point/opening a discussion about this is to tell the school that dd genuinely doesn't understand/is unable to explain to her parents what she did wrong and, iyho, there is little point taking corrective steps (like a written apology) if dd is not clear in her mind what it was she did wrong - she has to learn. that way you sound on-side - but you are also pressing them for an account. the point about being called gobby is a seperate one - and is unacceptable - no matter what a child does that isn't a professional way to handle it - so once you have discussed dd's "wrong-doing" you can and should move the conversation on to this.

wheresthehamster · 02/12/2007 19:14

I definitely don't like the sound of the manhandling bit. Apart from anything else the poolside is slippery and she could have fallen after being pushed. The gobby bit may have been misheard - after all it was not hearing correctly that got your dd into trouble in the first place.

Agree about not apologising until your dd understands what she is apologising for and no, YANBU

Ubergeekian · 04/12/2007 13:56

Is the swimming teacher employed by the pool or the school? Either way, I think you should contact the employers, explain the situation as you have there, and ask for clarification about hat heppened. Tell them that your daughter wrote the apology as requested, but you are not coninced it was justified.

I am on the board of my local swimming pool, by the way, and we'd take anything like this very seriously. It may all be a misunderstanding, but if the swimming teacher is in the wrong, she needs dealt with.

Flip