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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Reported abusive dad, need help

2 replies

sabrina1234 · 20/08/2021 15:45

So long story short, I reported my dad who has always been manipulative and controlling towards my mum, after I found "how to emotionally manipulate a woman" on his phone and his cheating antics I reported him to the police. Now he has hit my sister in the past on two occasions years ago so I also mentioned that. They said I should speak to my mum and sister about them making witness statements about my dad hitting her. I haven't spoken to my mum about it because the More I thought about it , I feel like it could make things worse for my mum as she has no plans on ever leaving him.

The police said that we can give witness statements and they can arrest him, or they can arrest him without the statements?
I don't remember exactly anymore if they will arrest him without the statement as I was extremely stressed at the time.

However I feel like him getting arrested would make matters worse, if I said this to the police would he still get arrested if we didn't give witness statements or could they close the case if I didn't want to pursue it?

OP posts:
MatildaTheCat · 20/08/2021 15:49

If there is no evidence it will be impossible for the police to secure a conviction. Did you witness the assaults?

I think you need to talk to your DM and perhaps try to get her to talk to domestic abuse specialists to at least make her aware she has options.

Soontobe60 · 20/08/2021 15:58

What exactly did you report him for - ie what did you tell the police he had done?
As far as smacking is concerned, currently the law states that a parent can smack a child if it’s considered a ‘reasonable punishment’. This was laid down in the Children Act of 2004. You said it was over 20 years ago, so I doubt they will be able to do anything about that, especially if your sister denies it.

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