Am I losing the plot?

[howdoimakeitstop]

This is my first AIBU so please be gentle. Sorry it's a long one but I'm trying to explain the situation. for those that make it to the end!
I would describe my neighbour as aggressive, bullying, manipulative and constantly pushing boundaries to try to get their way. I have stood up to this person and said 'no' and it seems to have made me a target. Some examples would be when the neighbour was doing building work and regularly sent lorry drivers onto my property to leave pallets of deliveries on my grass without a word to me or when they send gardeners into my garden to trim my plants back to allow them a view into my house or when they scream abuse and verbal threats at me I phone the police and then I get more verbal abuse off the neighbour but they make jokes about me phoning the police when talking with family and other neighbours.
My neighbour tells other neighbours 'I know she's busy so I was trying to help her out with some of the gardening' when he randomly sends gardeners into my garden to cut back my plants (fully within my property boundary) so it is 'one less job to do'. But it isn't one less job for me to do as it wasn't ever a job that needed doing. I want privacy from my neighbour and they shouldn't be sending people into my garden to trim back plants that I've planted to give me privacy.
Other examples would be my neighbour approaching another neighbour saying 'She had a go at my window cleaner yesterday. She's so angry and always having a go at someone.'
The other neighbour says something like 'She sounds unhappy and in a bad place taking it out on others.'
The other neighbour isn't being told the full story. Instead of unlocking the gate to their back garden, my neighbour sent their new window cleaner through my garden, putting their ladder in my flower bed to climb up my house and over my roof in order to access my neighbour's windows. I did ask the man on my roof who he was, what he was doing and told him to get off my roof and I questioned why he wasn't using my neighbour's gate. In my mind my neighbour shouldn't keep sending people to my house like this and I am annoyed and fed up because it keeps happening.

Another example, I start packing up my car ready to leave and my neighbour reverses their car out of their drive and parks across my drive, holding up a finger 'wait a minute' as I get into my car and start the engine. I wait and wonder why I'm being prevented from leaving as I can't see any other people about and I can't see any other cars in the road. Why don't they pull forward or back and let me out of my drive? If I get out and ask them to move so I can leave then I will get a load of verbal abuse and they will not move. If I say nothing then I'm getting angry and annoyed at not being able to leave and either way I will be late for my appointment.
Later I hear my neighbour tell another neighbour 'Can you believe she was having a go because I was parked in the road? She's got problems.' (What actually happened viewable from my cctv: I got out of my car, stood at my car rather than approaching him and said, 'Can you move I need to go' and when he started yelling, I got back into my car, locked my doors and phoned my friend so I wouldn't be 'alone'. She heard him yelling and was talking to me as I was feeling unsafe.)
And the other neighbour says 'She can't control where you park. You can park where you like there are no restrictions on this road.'

There are no parking restrictions on the road, but what the other neighbour doesn't seem to know is that my neighbour wasn't parked in the road they were parked across my drive and yelled at me when I asked him to move so I could leave.

Another example, the neighbour started keeping their rubbish and green waste on my property. I have no idea why they started doing this. When I go out to move it off my property they rush out effing and blinding that I am 'not allowed' to touch their things (that they have put on my property). They become very aggressive and threatening and I walk away as the situation feels unsafe. They then throw all the items back into my garden creating a mess and damaging my plants.
I later hear that my neighbour has been telling other neighbours that I have been verbally abusive to my neighbour and they're concerned about what to do because I keep phoning the police on them. I have NEVER been verbally abusive to my neighbour or anyone else! I avoid my neighbour and when they become abusive towards me I walk away! Other people telling me that my neighbour is saying I am verbally abusing them has really upset me because it's just not true and I worry someone might believe them. I have evidence to prove what happened but I can't go around showing police evidence to everyone can I? I feel I am in a difficult position because I can't prove what I am saying and then I'm angry that I feel I need to prove what I am saying iyswim. Why does my neighbour keep involving others and making this situation even bigger than what it is? (ironic I know as I'm now anonymously on MN asking for advice)

I can see some of the other neighbours laughing and joking with my neighbour and making comments like 'I feel for you having to go through all of this because of her.' but then privately to me and others they are saying things like 'He is what he is, we're just trying to get on.' AIBU to be put off by this? I can understand they don't want problems with my neighbour but they don't seem to realise that their perceived support of my neighbour is damaging their relationship with me and making my neighbour worse. He seems to get off on all of this.
As far as I know only once was someone outside when my neighbour was verbally abusive and threatening towards me and as I was walking away he caught sight of them and started 'Oh sorry you had to see that I'm just so fed up dealing with her I lost it. I'm sorry!' then he starts following me as I'm walking away loudly saying 'I'm sorry I struggle to cope with you constantly complaining about everything. I shouldn't have yelled at you. Sorry!' WTF!! He completely twisted the situation! I was moving his rubbish out of my garden (again) when he came out and started having a go! I had never actually said a word to him during the whole encounter but then the other neighbour sees him apologising and acting like he just one off lost it because of something I had said or done.
I feel like I'm losing the plot and sometimes I start to question if IABU or not.

AIBU somehow? (if so please explain)
AINBU to not want anything to do with this neighbour or the other neighbours for that matter and for being upset and fed up at the distress the situation is causing me.

Apologies for the length of the post!
Rant over!!

You need a huge bloody ddog op...
And cctv. Keep a record of all abuse...
Get some headphones so they can see you aren't listening to them..

Holy smoke!! I have no idea how you have not lost your shit with him!! You're a better person than me! There's no way I could constantly take that abuse and not retaliate!

You're doing the right thing with cctv, I really feel for you, it can't be easy dealing with that day in day out

Could you film on your phone whenever he is there to keep records of his yelling? Log every incident.

If you need to pack your car up, go out and put it on the road outside your drive first so he can't block you in and pack it there.

The constant twisting the situation to make themselves look like some sort of victim is really doing my head in. THANK GOD for cctv because I can see for myself what happened when I start questioning it later.

What a nasty bastard. He knows exactly what he is doing. If I were you I would put my phone video on before I stepped out of the door. I wouldn't even try to be discrete about filming him either (he will of course claim that you're harrassing him by filming him without his consent but either his appalling behaviour will be caught on film or he will stop behaving so aggressively towards you as he knows he will be filmed). Sorry you have to deal with this arsehole, I can only imagine how utterly miserable it must be making you.

This sounds an absolute nightmare. How can he get into your garden. Do you not have a lock on your garden gate?

Unfortunately, you're going to need to throw a lot of money at this problem and it isn't fair of course.

First option is to move.

If you don't want to or can't then you need the best fences as high as you are allowed them and added to the plants you have already. And locks on garden gates. Double up on cameras - back and front. Make sure it catches him dumping his stuff on your property.

Start a log of all incidents - and keep the video evidence which goes with each incident where possible.

For the rubbish etc on your property get a cease and desist letter from a solicitor.

It sounds like you are a single woman? It's sexist but some male bullies will only back down to another man. Do you have a brother, friend, uncle, dad etc who could come and stay over every now and then and make their presence felt?

If blocking you in is a more than once occurance then you should do as a PP said and get your car out first before packing so that he can't prevent you leaving.

It sounds like the other neighbours aren't fooled by his antics but are happy to let you be the scapegoat and don't want him to turn on them. So try not to worry about how you think he's making you look.

And get a personal body camera - sounds extreme but when you have several incidents logged on it where he is being abusive because he thinks it's just the two of you, you have extra evidence for a harassment case. You can just use your phone of course but that's harder to maneuver.

Record every single time you have anything to do with him. Let him go to the neighbours, then you go and show them the actual footage.

Write down every single incident, consider getting legal advice on what you can do

I have a rather large garden and not all of it is gated off. I am wanting to move so debating how much money to spend on this but I'll look at the expense of gating off more of my garden.

Previously when I have parked in the road for large deliveries he complains to other neighbours about me 'blocking the road' and 'why is she not parking in her drive'. It's another one of those confusing situations because he frequently parks in the road rather than his drive as do some of the other neighbours which seems ok, but it's not ok when I do it apparently. Going forward I will be pulling out to park across my drive when loading up to leave as I can't be late anymore.

I am documenting and videoing everything. I haven't thought of a body camera before where does one buy such a thing? Can I show the neighbours cctv of what he is doing?

It sounds like you are a single woman? It's sexist but some male bullies will only back down to another man. Do you have a brother, friend, uncle, dad etc who could come and stay over every now and then and make their presence felt?

Yes I'm a single woman and unfortunately no men to call around (though I have a date next Friday so fingers crossed). He has a woman that sometimes stays with him and I have wondered what he's like with her or if she's twigged what he's like. Obvs it's not my business to get into but when she's there I wonder to myself how or if he hides that side of himself. and why the hell she's with such an arse