... to ask about how much help/support to offer for DD starting in Uni

[KnotKnot]

When I made that transition, apart from financial support. I was essentially left to my own devices, but it was easier in that I knew people going there already.

DD will be starting someplace where she knows no one, and is a few hours away. DD is not the most organized and not so good at planning in the real world (but always got good academic results).

Just interested to know what level of help/support you got, and any things you found especially helpful.

@Seeline

Not sure what sort of stuff you mean?

I helped DS put a list together of all the stuff he would need before he went, and went shopping with him.
I was on hand to help with all the form filling, enrolling on line, sorting out bank accounts etc when he asked.

WE sat down with him to work out a basic budget - how much he would have to spend each week and what sort of things he would need to be spending this on. He gets the minimum loan, so we pay his accommodation, and he lives off the minimum.

Suggested a few meals he could cook when he first moved in, made sure he had an idea about how to use a washing machine.

Made it absolutely clear he could ring, text, facetime at any time he wanted advice, help or just a chat.

He survived last year with all its additional complications - periods of self isolation, getting covid, not being able to mix with others and nearly all teaching on line.

I could have written this! Did exactly the same.

Thanks for all the advice above. A lot of it will be helpful for us both.

Accommodation plans still in flux, but not confirmed yet. I'm trying to arrange visit to potential location. Accommodation was a big challenge back in my time for the, the area was not great, sharing person not great (messy, not great at sharing bills, noisily shagged like a porn movie)

When she does not know someone, encourage her to look at clubs and societies. My DS joined some of these, and got to know a wider range of people (soccer club, computer games, orienteering) outside his core group.

English living in Ireland, but I was especially worried when my DD was moving away to a different city where there had been a lot of bad behaviour reported in the news: www.irishtimes.com/news/ireland/irish-news/college-students-report-in-high-numbers-to-cork-sexual-violence-centre-1.4342705

Of course Covid stopped that, but she'll attend in person this year

Another vote for having the conversations, ideally when you are doing something else, so it's not too intense. Ask what support she would like.

Don't force anything. The move from school to Uni is a good time for lessons learned naturally from consequences.

Uni was a flight away for me, so I wasn't in a position to take much. DParents gave me some extra money to buy things when I got there and could see better what I might need. Unlike school, there was no storage available between terms, because rooms were rented out in the holidays.

Made me quite the minimalist.

Pretty much the same as seeline above, but I also hammered home what consent means (DS) which he said he already knew, had a girlfriend etc .
My stepmum got a lot of kitchen stuff for him as she wanted to do that. We shopped together for the rest but he looked up the advice list on the uni website. I sat with him to sort out student finance and made an appointment so he could change his bank account to a student one as he had assumed he could just walk into the bank. DH took him on the day, DS made a couple of friends almost immediately and wanted DH gone pretty quickly so he could start his student life.

Financial support but otherwise left me to it eg in terms of life admin, social stuff.

I mean obviously I'd have rung mum if I wanted to chat about a boyfriend or friend situation or to whinge about a boring lecturer or whatever, but I sorted myself out day to day. By 18/19 they should be well ready to.

We got my SD as she was going fairly locally so living at home. She then decided she wanted to do a house share so we paid her rent.

*got her a car

DD1 was a bit worried about budgetting, so, for the first year she transferred her entire student loan straight to us, and we set up a standing order to pay it back to her weekly. She found it much easier to control her spending that way.