Am I being a horrendous nag?

[SheABitSpicyToday]

My husband is amazing. He really is, but there’s a few things that have giving me the rage and I don’t know if it’s because I’m pregnant and hormonal and need some perspective.

He has a habit of starting stuff he knows I want doing, but due to working hours he starts this quite late and doesn’t always finish, meaning that days can go by with the house like building site and it’s just getting me so down. I snapped today and just finished it myself but being seven months pregnant with severe spd I’m now in a lot of pain and there’s a lot I can’t do as I can’t lift it. In the hall way there’s a bed, a door, an old printer and surfboards that he needs to take to our garage which to be fair to him is down a load of steps and accross the road. I know he has tired and aches from work but it’s all been there for weeks now and it’s just making me so depressed being stuck in the house with it all day. He works 12 hour shifts so I know he is busy and I appreciate that when I’ve been really sick (I’m still suffering with morning sickness) he comes home from work and does a lot of cooking and cleaning.

He’s also really crap at any sort of life admin and I don’t know how much i should be picking up for him without it just being a piss take. He never reads his emails or opens his post so I have started doing it as he’s missed appointments. He still hasn’t booked his second covid jab yet despite having the first back in April. I asked him to get some counselling to help with his depression and he never got back to them so they took him off their caseload.

I’m just starting to get frustrated with these little things and am often just livid with him (secretly, not livid to his face). I have had a few words with him and he says he is very tired and when he gets home he just wants to sit down which I understand but at the same time I wish he just wouldn’t start jobs and not finish them. I’d rather he just left things till his day off.

Am I being too naggy?
I know he’s doing his best atm and I don’t want him to feel like he’s not good enough but I can’t handle living in a house that kills my mood so much. I have bipolar and due to the pregnancy I’m not on my meds and a tidy home space is key to keeping my mental health level.

I might have missed it in the OP but have re-read it a couple of times but you made no reference to having other DC in your OP. So confused when you lost it up thread when you informed everyone your at home looking after the children and doing the housework. If that is the case, how old are your other DC.

I didn’t think it was important. She’s 7 and she’s suffering with terrible anxiety atm and is a nightmare.

@SheABitSpicyToday

Just because I’m not working doesn’t mean I’m not doing stuff. Should I really be organising his doctors appointments and stuff? Reading his emails and sorting his post like a secretary? Yeah managed to do all these things when I was working on top of all the other stuff to.

I think on the basis that he is working 12 hour shift and doing lots of housework and you're not working, yes I think you should be doing this stuff.

If you were at work, had other big caring commitments or were doing all the housework/ DIY, I'd say he should be doing them.

But to be Frank it doesn't sound like you're doing much to contribute at the moment.

As predicted he’s come home and had a go at me for carrying the stuff upstairs. I can’t win.

OP, he sounds exhausting. He makes trouble for you then leaves the house for work all day and then gets mad you have dealt with the trouble.

I'd divorce his ass. He's not gonna change and it will only get more difficult in the long run.

Not quite divorce territory

Just irritated and with everything else going on I’m more irritable than usual!

Do you have someone who can come and help him on a weekend day to complete the jobs outstanding?
12hrs shift +commuting (?) + housework/cooking + plus trying to spend time with his existing DD + depression.
Yes open his emails and make a few appointments.

I get that it is frustrating - but he isn't the cause of it. He's already spread too think in combination with his depression.

You need an odd jobs man op. I know you said you can't afford it at the moment so just get him to do the main bits and leave the rest until you both have some savings towards hiring someone.
Don't worry about the nursery as baby will probably be in with you for the first few months, so just get your downstairs ready, floors layed and baby's cot/ crib sorted.
Use one afternoon to get all the boxes moved to a spare room preferably on the first floor so easily accessible by you and just get him to focus on the main few jobs.

Don't let him start anything new unTil the incomplete jobs are completed.