Does anybody else not want to get older

[Fizzysweets1]

As in elderly, 80+. I think working with vulnerable people may have heightened this, I really enjoy caring for them but it makes me sad too.

Some of them have to take a cocktail of medication up to 4 times a day, they’re housebound, or bed bound, have carers coming into their house several times a day. Significant chance of developing Alzheimer’s after that age, many suffering from a range of health problems.
Majority of the ladies I care for are widowed now, some widowers too.

Obviously this won’t happen to everybody, but just makes me feel sad that this is what I have to look forward to. Assuming I’d be lucky enough to live to around 90, I’ve already lived a third of my life and it does feel depressing.

Hope this doesn’t offend anyone, this could happen at a younger age too of course but it makes me realise how much independence I have now.

Agreed. Who wants that? Not me. Shame there's no pill, so you just float away....

Gotta say, I kind of hope not to live beyond my mid 80s. I have issues with my joints that are OK now but mean that I will not be a fit, mobile older person.

My grandad live to his early 90s and lived pretty well, kept his marbles not that physically ill but even so I felt his horizons shrunk so much in the final years of his life until the cancer that fortunately took him without too much suffering, that I didn't want him to live too long like that.

I think that as more people see parents and grandparents enduring years of frailty and/or dementia there will begin to be a greater focus on quality of life and choice about ending it.

I have less time left on this earth than I've lived on it.
My biggest fear is being in a care home, an even bigger fear is being in a care home with dementia.
Both me and my DH have plans in place should this ever happen and very supportive family who will ensure it happens.
Old age is shit when normal daily life is beyond your basic physical and mental capabilities.

@Moonface123

Oh what a depressing post. I personally feel growing older is a privilege denied to many.

Absolutely agree.

Well that’s like saying, although you have dementia and you can no longer walk or recognise your own family, suck it up because it’s better than being dead.

@DoingItMyself

I am 63 and have had enough. I have a plan.

@DoingItMyself Are you willing to share your plan? I’m in my 60’s and absolutely shitting myself about this. Every single one of my relatives have gone through years of pain/confusion, in and out of hospital kept alive irrespective of the quality of said life. I don’t let my animals live with this pain so why do it to humans?

Thank you everyone, @kwiksavenofrillsusername, @Anordinarymum, @EmeraldShamrock and @Fairyliz

I'm fine but miserable because I let my blood sugar drop too low and I'll be a in a complete mope until it picks up. If I'd had my wits about me I wouldn't have made such an attention-seeking post! I've had a latte, and it seems to be working.
@Fairyliz - it's the kind of plan you would expect. Very simple.

I do think we should be allowed to depart when we are ready. Voluntary euthanasia.

My dad is 89. He's not ready to go, though he never leaves his house. I don't want that. My mum died at 79 after sixteen months in a care home - it was a good, private, expensive one paid for by the state because she was a long-term mh patient - it was hell and I don't want that either. A colleague dropped dead reaching for a cup of tea - that sounds good. I don't think we should just have to suck it up and wait for the body to give way under the strain.

DH’s Grandad is 86 and he’s still as sprightly as ever. The only things he complains about is waking up in the middle of the night to pee and his knees not being what they once were. He’s still quite active and socialises lots. I think I’d be ok reaching my 80s if I’m like that but if it means losing all dignity and being forced into a home, I’d rather die.

@Moonface123

Oh what a depressing post. I personally feel growing older is a privilege denied to many.

I totally agree.

Having had two primaries in the last six years, thankfully both caught early and despite being in rude good health I very much doubt if I will reach 80, if I do you won't hear me moaning.

Well I'm not looking forward to it exactly, but then, 20 years ago I wasn't looking forward to being in my 50s, and now I'm here, it's great and nothing like I expected. I feel fit and healthy, look good, and I'm enjoying life much more than I did when I was young. I genuinely feel 50 for me is what 30 was for my parents. So I'm approaching old age with cautious optimism, hoping that new ways of managing illness, plus the things we now know about how to take care of ourselves, may mean 80 in 30 years looks like 60 now.

@inmyslippers

I am pro euthanasia. We don't let animals Suffer but our elderly rot away in care homes. I previously worked on a dementia Ward. To me keeping them going to deteriorate was really cruel all round

This in spades. I know several people this year alone who have had an elderly pet put to sleep, because they were very poorly, and very infirm...

I also know several cases (over the past 2-3 years,) of people who have elderly and VERY infirm parents, who need 8-10 nappies a day as they are incontinent, and cannot bathe or feed themselves. Also, they need a carer visit 5 times a day, and they can't move from one room to another, they can't get upstairs, they sleep in a bed in the lounge, and they can't make themselves food, or even a cup of tea. What kind of life is that FFS?

One lady I know (mid to late 50s,) had a mother like this. When she hit her late 70s around 2016, she went downhill very quickly, and was like what I just mentioned... For THREE YEARS. Until she died after her third stroke.

Her daughter found it a massive strain. She has 2 brothers, but the work of looking after 'mum' fell to her of course, as she was the daughter. They had carers for her personal care, but she still did everything else for her. She had a full time job too, and 2 children still at home. She said it was a massive relief when she passed away.

She had loved her mother and had a decent relationship with her all her life, but in the end she resented her, and was relieved when she died. And now she is full of guilt for feeling this way. Her 2 brothers don't feel a shred of guilt. Funny that.

But yeah I totally agree that once people start getting that way, they should be allowed to die with dignity, and end their lives peacefully. Not get to the point where they can't wipe their own bum, or feed or bathe themselves... It's disgusting that we let humans live this way.

@Fizzysweets1 YANBU

There is so much nutritional knowledge these days. Such as pomegranate prevents alzheimer's! Amazing. I think it is a privilege to enjoy good health at any age but once there are 3 or more conditions life can get harder. A lot depends on luck but we also need to be proactive. Healthy eating daily exercise fresh air etc.

Not sure I have enough money to live much past 80
Prehaps I will be allowed euthanasia when I run out of cash

no one wants to get old. everyone wishes to stay young and healthy forever

I'm pro euthanasia. When my children are older I plan to talk to them about my wishes, which I will also document very explicitly. I'm hoping by the time I'm that age it will be legal in the UK and there'll be a proper process to initiate it when really severe conditions of ageing start to kick in.

Thankfully none of my own elderly relatives have lived long with such conditions, they all went from relatively robust health and deteriorated rapidly over only 2-3 years with only a few weeks/months at the end in a very debilitating state.

Not really but it beats the alternative

I hope and believe that assisted dying will be legally available within the next 10/20 years. I don't want to live too long. Which then makes it pointless that I'm saving for a pension I may never get to spend, but anyway! I think by my 50s I'll be more than ready to go.