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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Was I wrong?

9 replies

CandyFIosss · 19/08/2021 08:35

I was on the bus and had my daughter in the pram space, it’s one of those smaller spaces so if another pram gets on you have to move yours out of the space to let another one on, anyway a few stops later another woman with a pram gets on, I move mine out of the space and she doesn’t acknowledge this (fair enough but it’s general curiosity to say “thanks” when someone does that) as she was getting hers in her child came from behind her and began to push through my pram and said “move out the way I need to get through!” at this point the woman had not got hers in, so mine had nowhere to go, I said “well I’m trying to let your mum and her pram in” well at this point the woman’s friend came on and she started shouting at me that he has a disability and doesn’t understand, they then both started saying too each other how people like me are the reason they don’t get on buses. Now I have a child with a disability myself but if she had done that I would have either apologised to the other person or told her to wait back. Now I think I’ve been doing the wrong thing and don’t need to apologise as I’m usually quite apologetic, was I in the wrong?

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ColdCottage · 19/08/2021 08:37

I don't quite understand the space available but sounds like you behaved as you should.

thanksforyourcommentrandomman · 19/08/2021 08:39

So you're already on the bus and your pram is in the right place, why are you expected to move yours to let another one in it's place - or is there enough room for 2*

*Disclaimer I don't have kids and I don't travel on the bus

CandyFIosss · 19/08/2021 08:40

You can fit two pram in but because of the bar one can’t get in if there is one already in without moving out to allow the other one in, most people will give a quick thanks when someone has moved theirs out

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Theunamedcat · 19/08/2021 08:44

"She has a disability"

Why arnt you watching her then?

Ffs my child has a disability doesn't understand a lot is still at the stage where he loudly questions about people with weight problems or walking sticks etc (when he is physically too old to be doing this his mental age doesn't fit his physical age) I'm right there with him all the time he is next to me all the time especially on public transport he is never allowed to walk up to people because he can say the wrong thing and cause upset so fast yes i teach him but he cannot retain so its bloody hard

Waspsarearseholes · 19/08/2021 08:46

They were both very rude. If they don't bother to try to teach their child what is and isn't appropriate how will he ever learn? He deserves to have the time spent on him helping him to understand social situations. I'm really not sure what on earth they expected you to do with your pram. Having a child with additional needs is exhausting and it can feel like the whole world is against you at times but that doesn't mean that you can ignore unwanted behaviour, it means that you have to spend even more time trying to reinforce positive behaviour.

CandyFIosss · 19/08/2021 09:19

That’s the thing I know what it’s like to have a child with a disability and that’s why I would have apologised in that situation as it’s not ok to be rude to people, I’m sure if he was running out into a road they would have stopped him, or called him back and said wait

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TheSloaneRanger · 19/08/2021 09:37

Console yourself that you had the good grace to have manners. I'm sorry they were so rude but if they carry on like that they will learn the hard way to be polite

Tal45 · 19/08/2021 11:24

I hate it when people are so rude you start to wonder if you did something wrong. I was stood in a supermarket one day waiting for my OH to bring the trolley and looking at the front pages of the papers when an old man came along and started talking right behind me to another women about how rude I was to stand in the way and they were having a chat about it as if I wasn't stood right there! I moved straight away and was quite upset but really wish I'd said 'next time you should try saying excuse me'.

CandyFIosss · 19/08/2021 12:25

Yes exactly, I know what it’s like feeling like you have to constantly apologise for your child but if you don’t want to do that then you can at least say something like “just wait to the lady has her pram out the way” I mean acknowledge them in some way, she completely ignored him telling me to move and trying to push my pram out of the way them I’m the rude one Confused

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