How can I best help my daughter? Mugged last night, just two hours after frightening intruders out of our house?

[loveyouradvice]

My 19 year old daughter who's felt safe in our neighbourhood for years, had a tough time last night. She found two young guys right next to our kitchen trying to break into our locked garage, while we were out, and chased them off the premises.

Just two hours later, she went to the local shop and was mugged by a guy on a motorbike, who took her handbag and punched her arm several times really hard. Luckily nice neighbours walked her home.

Today unsurprisingly she is feeling very unsafe - both in the house and at the idea of going outside. Scared every time she hears a motorbike go down the street - or thinks she sees something move outside. And she hasn't slept for 38 hours.....

Does anyone have any experience of this and what might help? At the moment, it's lots of hugs and making sure one of us is here all the time. What else might we do to help her?

So sorry this happened.

Victim support - you should be able to find contact details if you google.

She's had some trauma and may benefit from trauma therapy.

Get her to your GP, at the very least to give her something so she can sleep, and see if she can be referred for some talking therapy to process? You can self refer for IAPT I think depending where you are

www.nhs.uk/service-search/find-a-psychological-therapies-service/

Let her see you are taking serious safety precautions.
Put up a floodlight aimed at garage.
Change locks on the doors. (Especially if house key and address were in her purse.)
Reassure her that it is normal to be uneasy after incidents like these. Maybe give it a little time before rushing for trauma therapy so she can develop her own coping skills?

I’m so sorry - that’s awful.

Could you offer to sit next to her while she sleeps? Maybe she could nap on the sofa with you around? Does she have any friends who have been through similar that could talk it out a bit?

If you or your husband work for big companies, sometimes they have employee assistance program Helpline’s that offer counselling.

Think doctor better for quick help maybe very temporary sleeping pills and referral for counselling. Victim Support depends where you live. My area 2 month waiting list for help even if domestic violence ongoing risk. Maybe ok if she csn cope with waiting that long for help and maybe better in your area. London very bad but if she's in another area, some victim support help very quickly. Samaritans very kind and can help. Some not great but she can hang up if bad one and try again. Some very kind ones.

I’d say sit with her whilst she sleeps too.
Maybe get a ring doorbell? Or some sort of safety precaution at the house.
I’d also get her to the GP. Go with her for support.
Your poor dd

Thank you all.... phew, she fell asleep on the sofa just after 2 am this morning and is still asleep. Her Dad or I are in the next room for when she wakes.

Yes, Georgiagirl great suggestions and we have let her see us making the whole house really secure. And I agree with waiting for therapy for a little while.... ie until she wants it.

Meanwhile, our big challenge - and this is where I would really love advice - is what can her Dad and I do to help her through these next few days and start to rebuild her coping skills? At the moment, we have said how normal it is to feel uneasy and her brain is processing this- as well as saying how brave and powerful she was. And of course being extra loving/supportive and making sure one of us is in the house at all times.

Can't help feeling there is more we could do that might help....

I'd start with security at your house. I'd have a Ring doorbell at your front door and something similar on the garage/back windows.

The mugging is even more shocking. What did the police say about that? Do any of the local shops have CCTV cameras?

I think you just have to be led by her - if she wants company, offer company. If she wants to do the route to the shop and back with company, do that. If she wants to talk to someone professionally, support her with that. I honestly don’t think there’s a right or wrong way to go about it as long as you’re listening to her and supporting her as you clearly are already

Ah my heart goes out to her.

I was mugged and didn't leave my sofa for about 2 days. It's the only place I felt safe.

My partner also made sure a friend came by those days to keep me company.

Definitely try to get her counselling if she doesn't return to normal after a few days.

Let her eat and sleep where she wants and make sure she knows the house Is safe.

But be careful of her being over cautious and becoming obsessed.

I asked my partner to double lock me Into the house when he went to work.
He refused for obvious safety reasons but that's where my head started to go by the 3rd day.

I read lots of articles online about how to feel safe again after an incident like that . There are some useful things if you just google it.

Best of luck to you op the poor girl

www.voicenorthants.org/2017/08/essential-guide-getting-back-feet-following-mugging/

This is just one. With some practical information. But lots more out there. X

I think it just takes time. I've been mugged and another time spotted an intruder (and lay under the bed to hide as I phoned police argh). You just need time. For the first few days it's sort of one your mind a lot but gradually life fills up again with normal things.

If the muggers are caught that'll help a lot too.

And obvs she will probably want to be with someone when she's out for a little while.

Thank you alll... so very very helpful....

Yes, we are on Day 2 on sofa so that is reassuring notime and thank you re resources....

So so appreciate people who've been through it coming and sharing....