Do I tell my employer?

[Candycrush426]

Hi everyone, needed some advice.

I have been TTC for 2.5 years. I have suspected endometriosis stage 3/4. I took clomid/letrozole they didn’t work, if anything I think they made the endometriosis worse as I now have cysts on both ovaries that are painful and large. They think it’s highly unlikely ovarian cancer but once they do a laparoscopy they will do a biopsy but most likely it is endometriosis.

My work know all about the above apart from me trying to conceive. They are aware of endometriosis and the pain I have been riddled with. They’re understanding.

Now after seeing my surgeon yesterday we have decided to give me a chemical menopause to stop the cysts growing and shrink them hopefully and booked in for an mri and had my AHA blood test too. Depending on the results of the MRI and AHA will mean either surgery first then ivf or naturally trying to conceive again or IVF first then surgery.

Do I tell work about this? I don’t really want them to know I’m TTC because I don’t know if it’ll be annoying or damage my time at work as I have been promoted to a new role this year.

I feel very stressed and emotional at this situation and I don’t know what’s right or wrong.

I just want a baby so bad but my body is failing me 😣

Why do you need to tell them about TTC? You could tell them about the op but no need to go,into detail that they don’t need to know

I’m not sure if I try ivf treatment if I need to make them aware? I’ve never done ivf so not sure if it would affect time off work etc?

Give them much less detail. As an employer they already know you are having gynae treatment. Anything else that you are having (whether the op or IVF) is a gynae procedure. Ask your doctor how long you need off for each thing, tell work that. I absolutely wouldn’t tell them you are TTC/having IVF treatment.

Do your work have a policy for time off for fertility treatments? Mine does (it's under our health and wellbeing policy). If so then I would tell them as that's a good sign they will be supportive through the process. If not then agree with PP - just tell them it's gynae stuff and leave it at that.

If you don't want to tell them, you don't have to. If it would help for them to know (such as giving you access to a fertility treatments policy as mentioned above) then tell them when you need it.

Good luck with it all OP.

I strongly advise you not to.

A friend of mine told hers and it ended up in court. She won a case against pregnancy discrimination after the stress of IVF as well.

Hideous.

I ended up telling my line manager (but no one else) both times I had fertility treatment because I needed some mornings off work for scans/bloods etc at short notice and then when I was trying for baby no 2 I was over stimulated and quite poorly for a while and needed some work adjustments. I did wait until I had no choice but to tell someone because I was worried about being discriminated against. I'd opt for not telling unless you are finding work difficult /need short notice time off which can't be pre booked /passed off as a gynaecology appointment.

Thank you everyone, I have decided against informing them and will continue with gynaecologist related information instead and endometriosis. Thank you

I told mine because i got a week off for the ivf treatment it was one of the workplace policies, and my workplace were fantastically supportive

If you dont think they will be supportive tell them you are having ongoing treatment for your endometriosis that will involve appointments blood tests and procedures and just lump it all together under that