Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Partner glared at me I feel Awful

49 replies

stupidasusual · 17/08/2021 21:08

Sat with partner my mum and his mum and step dad this evening I asked him if I could borrow his phone I wanted to show my mum something on Facebook and I have to put my phone away as I haven't been confident enough to give his mum my phone number ( in the past she would bully me over message bang on my door waking my baby up and tell tales on me if I didn't reply as soon as she wanted yet would always ignore my messages but that was okay ) he glared at me like proper glared at me it was like I had done something really wrong, this was really out of the blue we hadn't been arguing or anything. My mum also said she heard him huff at me the day before when he asked if he could help tidy away some bits when I asked if he would take some puzzles upstairs she noticed he'd huffed. It's made me feel so shit! Like I'm a right problem he must really hate me to glare at asking to borrow his phone ( because mine is away to save his mums feelings after all she's done to me in the past ).

OP posts:
Original poster
stupidasusual · 18/08/2021 12:04

@ilovesooty my username is how he makes me feel xx

OP posts:
Rannva · 18/08/2021 12:07

You don't have to have relationships with "people who hate you" and glare at you. You can not see these people.

If you don't like his mother just don't see her any more. You honestly do not have to. It's very simple.

If the boyfriend doesn't like it, get shut of him too.

No one should be sitting around being afraid, having people 'banging on their doors', glaring at you... make some changes, take a deep breath and start making a life where you're around lovely, pleasant people who make you feel good, not these sorts of people.

Bluntness100 · 18/08/2021 12:08

How olds your daughter?

I mean this gently but are you using her as an excuse to stay? Surely you know there’s a way to end a relationship and make the kids comfy?

Also is it just because he glared at you? Or is there more to it?

Bluntness100 · 18/08/2021 12:09

Op how old are you? Do you work?

Original poster
stupidasusual · 18/08/2021 12:17

I'm 33 and a sahm at the moment

OP posts:
billy1966 · 18/08/2021 12:19

Listen to your mother.

How he makes you feel will be clear to your daughter.

She needs protecting.

Make plans and get out.

Your daughter deserves better, so do you.

Regularsizedrudy · 18/08/2021 12:26

Leave

Ooof · 18/08/2021 13:11

If you feel like shit being with him leave. There is no good to come from fretting about a huff or glare without confronting the issue.

gottastopeatingchocolate · 18/08/2021 16:50

It sounds like this is a much bigger picture than your original post. Are you able to contact Womens Aid or your local domestic abuse agency safely? I wonder if it might help you to have a conversation with them about whether you are in an abusive relationship, and what your options are to safely end the relationship.

Original poster
stupidasusual · 20/08/2021 09:51

I got huffed at this morning again I'm pretty sure of it, I find it really difficult to wake up in the mornings ( once I'm up I'm still knackered but awake ) I'm low on iron and exhausted from stress he shouted my name from the hall way then on the stairs I heard a big huff and him say " sake " he says he stood on a pen but it was quite conveniently timed in with me getting up.

OP posts:
vivainsomnia · 20/08/2021 10:04

I'm sorry OP but you sound quite dramatic. The whole phone business is totally ridicule and I understand that he would think so deep inside and just keeping it to himself to avoid more drama.

As for sighing, so what? Is it really worse reaction to his frustrations to you coming to post on a public forum and moan about him talking about leaving him? I find the latter much more disrespectful if you have to compare the two. Although in my world, both are fine, it's not a crime that you can feel a bit aggravated by your partner at times and it seems at the moment, things might be a bit more tense between you.

Original poster
stupidasusual · 20/08/2021 10:50

@vivainsomnia so it's Normal for someone to huff at someone they apparently love constantly? It's normal to be made to feel in the way amd a constant problem?

OP posts:
ilovesooty · 20/08/2021 10:55

[quote stupidasusual]@vivainsomnia so it's Normal for someone to huff at someone they apparently love constantly? It's normal to be made to feel in the way amd a constant problem?[/quote]
No it isn't normal. I really would look at the Freedom Programme as another poster above suggested.

sweeneytoddsrazor · 20/08/2021 10:59

If you want to leave him do so. Seems dramatic over a huff and a glare, but nonetheless if that's how you feel.

nimbuscloud · 20/08/2021 11:04

This relationship is dead.
For your sake and your daughter’s sake try to leave

EmeraldShamrock · 20/08/2021 11:07

I think you're blowing the situation out of place.
He probably didn't want your mam looking at FB on his phone while his DM sat like a knob.
Your DM is probably irritating too, making a big deal out of a huff behind his back to you.

diddl · 20/08/2021 11:35

"Your DM is probably irritating too, making a big deal out of a huff behind his back to you."

I read this more as Op's mum confirming something that he has been denying.

2reefsin30knots · 20/08/2021 11:47

First job is probably to get back to work so you can be financially secure out of the relationship.

How old is DD?

50ShadesOfCatholic · 20/08/2021 12:00

No it isn't normal to.feel so uncomfortable with your own partner.

You sound very unhappy and actually I wouldn't entertain a relationship with someone whose mother treated me the way your mil treats you, never mind the way he carries on.

You know you can leave. It may seem hard but think about the fact that many women do leave bad relationships and create better lives. You can be one of them.

Original poster
stupidasusual · 20/08/2021 12:00

My dm told me to prove its not all in my head and she's witnessed it too

OP posts:
50ShadesOfCatholic · 20/08/2021 12:03

So your own mum.is gaslighting you? No wonder you're putting up with a crappy relationship. It's what you grew up with.

Balonzette · 20/08/2021 12:15

What?! The glaring seems like the smallest issue here. You need to hide your phone from his mum because you haven't given her your number? So you're what, pretending you don't have a phone? Or worried that if she sees your phone she will demand you tell her your phone number immediately? This is all a little odd.

Megan2018 · 20/08/2021 12:18

Are you 5?
Act like an adult for pities sake, you are parents!

If you aren’t happy with your relationship then do something about it, but talking to other people about glares and huffs is just weird. I’ve huffed at my DH twice already today, he’s not being abused Hmm

EmeraldShamrock · 20/08/2021 12:32

My dm told me to prove its not all in my head and she's witnessed it too.
If there is a big back story that your DM then her involvement is justified otherwise it was a tiff a huff not work leaving him for.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page