To go to a wedding in formal attire?

[hibbledibble]

Not been to a wedding for a little while due to covid. The last one I went to, I wore a formal, ankle length dress, and I felt distinctly over dressed compared to most guests who were generally wearing something I would wear to the pub. (Floral dresses). Awkwardly, I wore the same colour as the bridesmaids too, who didn't wear matching dresses, so some people thought I was a bridesmaid. There was no mention of a dress code, or colours not to wear in the invite, and it was a traditional church wedding.

Going to a wedding this summer, which will also be a traditional church wedding, and wondering is formal for weddings out now? What is acceptable to wear as a female guest. Obviously not going for white or black, but wondering regarding style and formality.

For context, I wore a dress similar to the picture below previously.

@hibbledibble

I asked the mums at playgroup, maybe we all live under a rock!

Would something like this be acceptable then?

I'm learning a lot here.

That's nice. I've seen dresses like that at weddings, yes.

I wore this couple of weeks back - as short arse it was maxi enough but also tailored so felt more dressy

@hibbledibble

I asked the mums at playgroup, maybe we all live under a rock!

Would something like this be acceptable then?

I'm learning a lot here.

That looks much more suitable. It's bright, bold and obviously not something a bridesmaid would wear.

If you wanted another option a playsuit might also work, they are becoming increasingly popular wedding attire.

Something like this would be nice if you want to cover your legs op - I think the pattern stops it looking bridesmaidy

@hibbledibble

I asked the mums at playgroup, maybe we all live under a rock!

Would something like this be acceptable then?

I'm learning a lot here.

That's dress is lovely & would be great. It's much less formal than the blue one but would still look appropriately 'weddingy' with the right accessories.

@shouldistop

What about this op?

Ooh I like that one!

I don't like showing my legs much either! What about a more relaxed maxi dress, or a nice jumpsuit? (There is a huge variation in jumpsuits, but I have seen many that are perfectly suitable for a wedding and are a nice alternative to a dress).

Your second dress is far less formal. It’s lovely but may actually be a little too informal for a formal wedding. Great for a bbq / garden party.

The second picture would be fine. The first one is far too bridesmaidy.

Your second dress is far less formal. It’s lovely but may actually be a little too informal for a formal wedding. Great for a bbq / garden party.

Oh gosh, such a difficult line to tread. I'm clearly clueless about fashion and previously thought formal was good. Now looking for something suitably not too formal but not too informal. I may send pictures to the bride for approval.

The print of your second dress and some of the suggestions is the difference eternity bridesmaid and guest. All of the alternatives acceptable but the first would definitely make me think wedding party.

The second dress you posted is perfect.

I think a long dress in a solid colour will almost always look bridesmaidy.

I always wear long (hate my legs too). I’d go for a smart maxi length dress. I’d avoid florals because a lot of the time they make a dress look cheap,kind of like an old fashioned house dress

Love that second dress OP

That second dress is lovely. You can of course wear something full length but something black tie is probably always going to take you into bridesmaid territory! Black tie for weddings isn’t very… British I don’t know who else to say that really. Something summery and smart but I’ve never once been to a “formal” wedding and seen anything like the first dress.

I think the second dress is perfect by the way, get a hat! You never get to wear a fancy hat!

I love the blue dress and would check first to make sure on the dress code.
You can dress it down with what you wear over it, and simple bag and shoes.
Its a beautiful dress which I would wear. I tend to struggle with casual wear.

I like your second dress, definitely more on track for a wedding guest . And the ones posted by MindatWork and courtrai are lovely

I think the second dress is fab. Have you considered a jumpsuit if you like your legs covered?

The difficulty with chiffon full length dresses is that they often look bridesmaidy. When I got married my DH's SIL wore a full length chiffon dress that I had seen online in the bridal party section of John Lewis and nearly suggested for one of my two bridesmaids. A dress with a pattern / print is less likely to make you look like an unofficial bridesmaid.

A trouser suit would be acceptable

Love the second dress so much I may copy you! Where is it from please? (Not for a church wedding so won’t be the same one lol).

This one on Anthropologie is pretty great

@hibbledibble

Hmm, some comments a bit on the harsh side. I cover my legs due to a medical condition, and had shown the dress to other mums prior to choosing it and they said it was fine, so it is clearly not just me. I'll take on board the comments that a different style is required though.

I think the people you asked in person we’re being polite! Well that is all I can come up with anyway. That dress is inappropriate for a wedding, it is a bridesmaid dress or an evening formal dress. You need day formal.

I always ask the bride what colours she has chosen for bridesmaid etc so I can add that to the "swerve" list.

Dress one is way too bridesmaid like.
Dress two is a tad casual.