Friendship with colleague outside of work

[Brum1992]

I have been friends with someone I met through work for over ten years. We clicked on our work messenger system and would support each other through some difficult times. In the office environment, we do not work directly with each tower and we’ve been based in different offices. Colleagues who do work with her have always been disappointed in her work ethic. In fact, when it comes to work, she is lazy, constantly pulls sickies and does very little work, and no where near her contracted hours. This side makes me question her as a person… when I have gently told her maybe she should be careful, she has not liked it. Whenever someone questions her about something at work, she somehow turns it around on them. For example, suggestions they are being unreasonable for questioning her work, when I know she has made no effort, even doing things like going to the gym when she said she was working.

I am more and more struggling with the friendship side because of this. To me, this shows her true character. People have to do extra make up for her lack of work, and she expects that.

I think my reservations are showing and she seems to be a bit odd with me too…but then still maintains contact. I find it awkward.

In the grand scheme of things in the world, this is not a big deal, I know. But I am interested in others thoughts on whether I should separate work and friendship or step back on the friendship.

Step back from the friendship. That's a car crash waiting to happen.

Similar boat here.
However, my friendship out of work with my particular friend is very very important to me. She is a very good friend.

I completely separate myself from her and our work completely.

My friend at work is absolutely dire, bare faced lazy, negligent and totally cannot be fucked to do anything.
She is impossible and I could easily fall out with her 100 times a day, in fact if it were anyone else, I would have handed her her arse years ago.

Separate totally, do not concern yourself with her at work if she is a special good friend out of work.

The good side of your friendship is written in past tence, What's in it for either of you now? Do you still support each other? Do you have good fun together or share a hobby/interest? If not, I would distance myself. She does things at work that would personally put me off, even if I didn't share an employer. She'd have to be a fantastically caring, loyal, dependable friend to make up for her work antics.

Tense!

step back. this reads exactly like a situation i was in. sounds like your friend employs the drama triangle at work where nothing is her fault and everyone seems to be attacking her?

oh, and she’s using the ‘friendship’ to muddy the professional boundaries between you, so you’d feel bad for challenging her but she won’t feel bad showing up late to meetings you’ve set up. i’ll stop projecting now