To be a bit disappointed by this

[Piranha88]

It’s a family member who I haven’t sent in a few years, also due to Covid etc.
We moved at the start of the year and she now only lives a 10 minute drive from me.
I messaged her asking how she was doing and saying how it would be great to meet up.
It was going to be me, my partner and my sister going round to hers for a meal.
It was meant to be this Wednesday as a provisional date. However my sister said she’s just really busy with work atm and won’t be able to make this meal.
I told this to the family member and suggested that my partner and I could still pop round for a bit since they’re so close by, and that we all meet up again once my sister is free.

The family member said no it’s ok we’ll just all meet up when your sister is free.

I don’t know why she doesn’t want to meet me on my own, it’s not like it’s really difficult to arrange, as I said she lives 10 minutes away, it’s not like she’s hours away and that my sister will only get one chance to go.

Just feel a bit disappointed and confused. Aibu?

Hard to say, maybe she doesn't want to do Wednesday, maybe she doesn't want to do it twice, maybe she thinks you are putting yourselves out, maybe she doesn't want to host.

I think it’s a bit odd that you have invited yourself round after the original plan fell through. It seems reasonable to me that she would cancel if you couldn’t all come. Why didn’t you ask her to come to yours?

Could be literally 100 reasons

She could already have alternative plans that she had double booked so it’s more convenient, she could want to watch masterchef, she could find it easier with your sister there to share the conversation, she might not want to host more than once etc etc etc

Just chalk it up to one of those things and rearrange for when your sister can go too

Maybe she just doesn't want your sister to feel left out.

She probably doesn't want to host twice, once for you and your partner and once for you, your partner and your sister. It's a bit weird to invite yourself and your partner round to her house to be honest. You should invite her over to yours if you want to see her. Be proactive in managing your own social life/relationships.

Agree with pp that she may not want to do a meal for you twice. Better to meet at yours one of the times, or meet out for a coffee or something?

Invite her to yours this time and then go to hers when your sister comes?

Also, could she have done some of the shopping/prep already and be a bit put out about your sister's cancellation?

Why are you confused she doesn’t want to host twice so is just postponing it .

If that were me, I'd only be able to cope with one hosting event and I'd prefer your sister to be there to help the conversation.

Maybe your relative is like me and doesn't feel at ease in social situations.