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Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To struggle for purpose - feel like life is in limbo

13 replies

ttcsucks · 16/08/2021 21:30

How do you find purpose? I’ve tried everything, absolutely everything. All joy has been zapped from me nothing excites me anymore - a few small things like seeing family and Saturday afternoon shopping for example but nothing really truly purposeful.

I don’t really care to see friends, don't have passion for my work anymore.

I’m TTC too which is just exhausting, boring, waiting for smiley faces on stupid OPK sticks, losses - I feel like I’m waiting for a ticking clock for the next phase of my life. I'm sure you'll tell me I'm in no mental state to conceive but have no idea where else I'd get any purpose from and as most people say their children it seems like good chance that might give me some kind of purpose? Or else I don't see why people bother.

I am at a dead end finding purpose, I don't want to volunteer before anyone suggests.

So where/how do people find purpose?

OP posts:
Original poster
ttcsucks · 16/08/2021 22:45

Anyone - Or should I give up after all!

OP posts:
Marlena1 · 16/08/2021 23:41

Hey! Years ago I felt very like you and I was single and felt like everyone else was moving on with their lives. I randomly started some night courses (excercise and guitar). Guitar opened up a whole new world in terms of new friends (all of whom I'm still really close to) and social life. Pre covid I went playing once a week (and had a house/music party last week). I'm.not saying to do that, but maybe think of something you've always wanted to do.

Original poster
ttcsucks · 17/08/2021 08:31

Thanks @Marlena1 I'm glad it worked out for you. I've tried everything though - different hobbies and I get tired of them eventually and they stater interfering with my work so I stop them and it is just a vicious cycle.

Did you join a group?

OP posts:
stairgates · 17/08/2021 08:52

How old are you op? I'm going through a drained episode of my life atm and am trying to encourage myself out of it. Good luck with your ttc, when I had my first I do believe I had found what I was put on this earth for but now realise it was just for laundry insteadGrin The learnin a new skill idea sounds good!

Original poster
ttcsucks · 17/08/2021 11:20

@stairgates lol! I'm 35 currently and just feel work out from life. Uninspired. Unmotivated. No joy in anything.

Started (reluctantly) taking medication anti depressants only on day four though so obviously effects haven't kicked in. Feel guilty about taking them too whilst TTC but just getting quite desperate really

OP posts:
trumpisagit · 17/08/2021 11:29

A pet?
Dogs and cats give meaning to lots of peoples lives.
Obv only get one if you really want one and can care for it long term.

Ponoka7 · 17/08/2021 11:33

So are you ttc because you think a baby will give you purpose? Do you think that lock down has had anything to do with your boredom? It's goal setting that gives some people purpose, but you still have to enjoy the day to day. Are you in the right relationship?

Moonface123 · 17/08/2021 12:02

I personally think when you focus on what you already have in your life and are genuinely grateful for it, it changes your mindset.
When you accept your life for exactly the way it is right now, as though you had chosen it, you save a lot of mental energy. You feel satisfied.
I practice this everyday and l can honestly say it's made a real positive difference.

Original poster
ttcsucks · 17/08/2021 12:23

@trumpisagit

A pet? Dogs and cats give meaning to lots of peoples lives. Obv only get one if you really want one and can care for it long term.
I detest pets lol that most certainly will not help me
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Original poster
ttcsucks · 17/08/2021 12:24

@Ponoka7

So are you ttc because you think a baby will give you purpose? Do you think that lock down has had anything to do with your boredom? It's goal setting that gives some people purpose, but you still have to enjoy the day to day. Are you in the right relationship?
Yes, people always say purpose is the wrong reason to have a child but I don't understand why else you would have one then? Surely many parents find it gives them purpose?

My relationship saves me not hinders me - I think it's right

OP posts:
Original poster
ttcsucks · 17/08/2021 12:24

@Ponoka7

So are you ttc because you think a baby will give you purpose? Do you think that lock down has had anything to do with your boredom? It's goal setting that gives some people purpose, but you still have to enjoy the day to day. Are you in the right relationship?
Also it's not lockdown related - lockdown hasn't helped of course but this has been ongoing for about five years. On and off in my life since teenager years
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PattyPan · 17/08/2021 12:30

Have you tried gardening/veg patch? I have an allotment and it’s rewarding as well as good for your mood to spend the time outside.
Did you used to enjoy your job? Could you look for a new one?

Original poster
ttcsucks · 17/08/2021 20:33

@PattyPan I had a veg patch and found it so boring. I find it difficult to be entertained and just cannot find enjoyment in small things

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